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The Lotus (acrostic cinquain)

 

  


   Lotus
   Over all, rise
   To reach enlightenment
   Unstained corona reflecting
   Sunshine

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Photo: "Mystic" by Michael Weinberg

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Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • libithina
    May 21

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    Beautiful im age and beautiful words s
    'corona' lovely imagery Lib x
  • a good acrostic form though for my personal tastes it is too short a poem for me to get my teeth into and i do like the cinquain, though i like the garland form with them. i thought to myself siting here, after our mad one ages ago, (well really me just being a git lol) i would come and see one of your poems.

  • Evolet
    December 2, 2007
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    This is short, catches the intention. I like it. Well done.

  • catz Moderators member
    April 21, 2007

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    A stunning poem, beautifully presented, and says volumns. I of course saw Egyptian lotus when I was there a number of years ago, and they are indeed a beautiful flower. My friend there gave me a lovely bottle of essence of lotus, I still have some of it, and it still carries the fragrance after all these years. He told me I would be reminded of him for many years to come, each time I wear it. He's right

    Your poem and the picture with it brought back lovely memories of those 28 days in November and December.

    A lovely piece

    Dee


  • LiesOfDevotion
    April 9, 2007
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    stunning. rich with beautiful imagery and taut emotion. great job!
    Blessed be
    Lizzy


  • lyme disease
    March 28, 2007
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    remarkable ...
    i would be exaggerating to say my jaw dropped..
    but it does strike an awe from that lovely piece..

    and i can relate it to life as well


  • suseann
    March 19, 2007
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    It sure enough is! Both forms,whow! And a very pretty one at that.

  • wendy
    March 13, 2007

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    Maybe I'll unfold the petals that surround this mystical plume. Maybe I can unravel the secret talents that I have not encountered yet. I like this. It makes me want to reflect that sunshine within myself.

  • Maatkara Moderators member
    February 26, 2007
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    <

    A now departed member had commented here: "Ah, corona. Such a great word. It reminds me of John Donne's famous sonnet, La Corona. Nice."

    I wasn't familiar with that one of Donne's, La Corona, but I am now...(coincidentally, his Holy Sonnet XIV had been playing in my head lately, the way a song does out of the blue)


  • klassy lassy
    February 3, 2007

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    We have a lake filled with lily pads near hear. When the weather begins to warm, I am going to check some of them out to see if we have any Lotus blossoms. Your poem is as pretty as the picture and is as stunning.


  • Moonlit-Reveries
    January 21, 2007

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    Beautiful sweet poem. It's very clever how you combined these 2 forms in such a natural way. Your words and imagery are beautiful and I love your picture which fits perfectly

  • Yemassee silver member
    January 21, 2007

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    Is that the Asian or Egyptian Lotus? It makes a big difference! Ok, no it doesn't, but I bet I could have written for a few paragraphs explaining how it did.

    Your cinguain showed me one thing...I'm not a lotus. I'm as thick as a stump and not getting any wiser.

    "Unstained" I see that as the key word which could change to some extent the meaning...or so I'm pretending. That notion (maybe) that one needs to be unfettered to see the light...which would explain again why I don't.


    • Maatkara Moderators member
      January 22, 2007
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      Thanks Yem Yes, it is the Asian one, Nelumbo Nucifera - and it does make a difference because it can grow to 10 feet above the muddy water and blooms measure about a foot across
      Our souls are like the lotus, can grow up beyond the muck and remain untainted

  • ma belle
    January 21, 2007

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    This is truly captivating. I like the combining of two forms and by the way, doesn't even read like most acrostics read. The Lotus denotes peace with the warmest sunshine tendered. My best,


  • Nicolette gold member
    January 21, 2007

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    Lovely picture and the poem reflects the beauty and light of this magnificent flower so well. I liked the "unstained corona" - the center of the sun reflecting light and beauty. I've never writen an acrostic cinquain myself but I like what you've done here...you've managed to keep the flow of the traditional style - well-done. An elegant piece of writing. I also liked the way the first and last lines combine...lotus indeed equals sunshine. Thank you for this entry and good luck in the contest.

    ~ Nicolette

    • Maatkara Moderators member
      January 30, 2007
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      Thank you, Nic Love your winners.. great contest.. and thanks for helping to get my muse out of her malaise

  • Ladybug
    January 21, 2007
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    this is soft, sensual and has a great quality in the tone

    good luck on the contest

    Tamara


  • Duana gold member
    January 21, 2007

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    Hi, this is beautiful, and MargaretG put it perfectly! I have never tried this form before (or even heard of it) (or if I did I don't remember), but maybe I will! I love short form, and try any I come across. Thanks for this unexpected inspiration.

  • MargaretG silver member
    January 21, 2007

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    You don't write often, but when you do, it is worth waiting for. Your acrostic cinquain has mystical symbolism and lovely imagery. Weinberg's photo is fantastic. Good luck!


  • Hekate gold member
    January 21, 2007

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    Awww that's so sweet and beautiful...I understand it to I think that you did wonderful. The best of luck to you in the contest.

    Kari

  • suseann
    January 21, 2007
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    Oh,I missed it being a cinquain as well. I was so delightfully destracted by the piece it's self and it being an acrostic.I overlooked the inclusion of the fact via the title of your poem and a contest requirement. ~Suseann

  • suseann
    January 21, 2007

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    Wonderful acrostic of the lovely kind! This piece weaves is own magic just as does the lotus. There is beauty in it's up reach to the heavens so strait and majestically strong. Lovely flowr and poem to match.~~Suseann

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