Little Girl wants to plan the wedding.
Worry finds it all upsetting.
Lust is dying to take command.
Chastity won’t without a band.
Fantasy sees her shining knight.
Reality’s waits to take a bite.
Stomach just asks, “Can he cook?”
Vanity wants to have a look.
Isolation wants to stay away.
Desire wants to come and play.
Emotion wants to run and hide.
"Don't deflate me," calls out pride.
The brain takes them all in part.
Says, “Let us go consult the heart.”
“Is this of hell or from above?”
Heart says, “Shut up you fools. We're in love.”
A contest entry
- Enter All Your Love Writes Here! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended March 8, 2008, 306 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - This Heart Of Mine. by TheSpiralGenerator.
750 points, ended July 4, 103 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Ah, so that's what goes through a girl's head! Y'all aren't so strange after all. It's just a little different perspective of the same interest, doubt, fear and anxious anticipation a guy might need to work out.
I love the personification of attributes and parts of a person, including one's own childhood persona. The simple rhymes of the couplets lend a charming innocence to this poetic anticipation of a rite of passage.
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That is so cool! great idea!
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Like x Empathic Rose x stated, this poem is different. I like how you gave the view of different aspects, like pride, isolation, etc. The heart had the strongest voice, and that what gives the poem its stability. A peeve of mine in poetry when the rhyme "from above" is used so carelessly and usually with "dove". You, on the other hand, used it with "love" and in the line that I found the crux of the concept. That in itself is a perfect fit.
Thanks for entering your write in "Enter All Your Love Writes Here!", and good luck!
M a r l u x i a -
I like this, it's different and it really hits me, because I know how you mean. The heart, mind and all feelings start questioning everything when you are worried and when you don't always know what to do, they'll try and get in the way, but love shows itself in the end.
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Excellent
Hi there,
I have just finished reading your poem and wish to tell you just how much I have enjoyed the read.your poem was written beautifully.The love flowed through your quill and the story told was easy to understand and the visuals were awesome.I like the way you combined some humor into the write.I tried to disect the poem into parts that i liked best, but simply could not do this as I love the poem as a whole.simply beautiful.
Take care and many blessings to you.
Angel.
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Haha, the whole poem was cute, so I can't really give you my favorite lines, although I probably loved the last two just a bit more. I rarely like humor unless it's done tastefully, and this sure was. The rhyme flowed so smoothly, didn't seem forced at all. Keep up the good work :]
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Very good
Here is something similar-
WHO GOES THERE, COME YOU DERE
Who goes there, come you here
Leave your heart to me
From my luscious lips I shall give you my smiles
I shall make you happy, give you sorrows
Dipped in a lot of honey
From my restless eyes I shall give you tears
I shall deaden your heart with a poisoned drink
Mixed with a lot of love
Showering lights on your bosom
From my deep collyriumed eyes
With blows of laughter I shall make you cry
And my tears will make you smile
With my lovely arms I shall bind you fast
Which you love so much
The only thing that I won’t part with
Is my own dear heart
You are free to take everything else that I have.
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Transcreation of the humourous love song – Ke jetechhis ayre hetha, hridaykhani ja-na diye – by Rabindranath Tagore.
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wow...I like it...kinda scary in the sense of "Is that really wat we think" and not because this world's defintion of love plays the part.
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“Is this of hell or from above?”
Heart says, “Shut up you fools. We're in love.”
I love the ending there are too many things getting in the way of love. I like how you cover all the bases. Well wrote, great flow to this work. Thank for reading my work and explaining the part I was not familiar with. I thank you very much. I feel The Female is far more effective it a very empowering write. This too is a feeling. Take care -
Its has been to long. As always, i love your writing and this piece is no exception. It has an interesting flow and a wonderful feel.
-Madison
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3 Thumbs Up !!
Reminds me ofone of those movies i wouldnt go see
(yeah i suck, i know
)
excellent write though.
-cheers
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