Still here I feel,
Lonliness and Solitude
they walk hand in hand,
brother and sister,
never shall they be parted.
Solitude comes hand in
hand with Lonliness,
sometimes leading,
sometimes following,
but always, always
hand in hand with the
dreaded Lonliness.
Neither are welcome, but
both come in, dancing in,
fliting in, prancing in,
into the fragile heart,
acting as if they own it.
Your heart feels as if
it could break into
more pieces than is countable,
more than ever thought possible.
Nothing can be done.
Collect the pieces? HA
Why bother?
They will only be broken again.
Solitude is taken
Lonliness is hated.
A contest entry
- Have Fun! by KissMeGoodnight.
490 points, ended March 23, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Everything deserves a chance, right? by ObliviousReality.
600 points, ended April 8, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark and Depressing...Please enter by XHollowXEyesX.
700 points, ended April 6, 2007, 119 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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wow what a different perspective. I really love the unique way you described the feelings, added its own originality to it, hard thing to find.
thanks for entering and goodluck -
This is interesting. I like the form and how you compared the two as brother and sister. It's a good poem. Thanx for entering, goodluck
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Wow. That sure was...hopeless. I think you did a great job getting me depressed, true as the subject matter may be. Solitude and lonliness do come in hand in hand, and they do act as if they control your life. I know well the feeling of lonliness, but I know you know it so much better.
Just remember that I'm always there for you if you wanna talk, k? If you need my number, just lemme know and I'll give it to you.
OK., now that the emotional analysis is over, I think I'll move on to the actual poem. You paint a picture of madness here, (least I think so) when you say: dancing in,
fliting in, prancing in,
but I do think it ties together the theme of the rest of the poem very very well, since the whole thing is about pretty much basic human needs, and when you are lonely, you go mad. It's a fact. Believe me...I know...
I'm sorry about your loneliness. I thought it wasn't a very big enemy anymore, since you live so far out West.
I really like it, even though I am gonna be depressed when I read Wolf Death now... Oh well... It's not liek I'm gonna downgrade it because of being depressed, right?
Great write Bree!
~Jackie
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hahahaha, love! good luck
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This described loneliness very well. It's an old familiar feeling that creeps up on me when I let my defenses rest. You did a good job catching that description. Wonderful write. Best o' luck and thanks for entering.
Coconut
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