Glorious are these waterfalls,
through craggy rocks, green carpet sprawls.
Resounding beauty in these walls,
as nature calls, as nature calls.
With nature I can become one
blue sky, fresh air, under the sun
as many thoughts through my mind run,
fear comes undone, fear comes undone.
Picturesque; the scene before me,
it's panoramic, heavenly.
I look around and now I see
what's within me, what's within me.
Climb to the top and touch the sky,
this beauty you cannot deny.
Seen only with the naked eye,
on mountain high, on mountain high.
Now as I sit a while to rest,
sun slowly setting in the west.
My eyes gazing at nature's best,
fills me with zest, fills me with zest.
Journey complete I head for town,
with sounds of nature all around.
These sounds the waterfalls won't drown,
cascading down, cascading down.
Joyce Le Lievre
(sunny day)
© Joyce A. Le Lievre, All rights reserved
January 20, 2007
Author notes
My first attempt at this form, I hope you enjoy.
Monotetra
Style
© Created by Michael Walker
The monotetra is a poem written in quatrains,
with each line in tetrameter and each stanza is
monorhymed (thus the name, monotetra).
The other requirement of the form is that
the fourth line of each stanza is
a repeated dimeter phrase,
giving the poem a very songlike quality.
http://www.akenglish.com/MWalker/Monotetra/monotetra.html
Picture courtesy of the contest: Amicalola Falls, Northern Georgia
This also won gold in Red Aquarius's contest - Waterfall Inspiration which is the place the picture was taken from. I didn't realize that I shouldn't remove it.
Final notes:
Thanks to everyone for all the unique form poetry. I learned several new forms!
Congrats to the winners, each of your writes spoke to me in a special way. It was very close between the three trophy winners. I also added 2 HMs because I just couldn't cut them out of the finalists.
Gold - sunny day
Silver - masterblaster
Bronze - kaibab
HMs - OladCoasty2, Grey Mouser
In a list
A contest entry
- A Family Picnic, Invite Only by Lady-Pegasus.
1050 points, ended June 21, 2007, 23 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Golden Poems (pre-write quickie) by JM Kenyon.
450 points, ended December 22, 2007, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 45 of 45
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I'm not much of a person for repetion, but the rest of the write was very beautiful.
Thank you so much for entering and participating in my contest and good luck,
~lumin -
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Lumin, Thank you for your words of praise and for hosting a lovely contest. Thank you for your best wishes also. Love and God bless, Joyce
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A stunning write. You've made a friend of the repition in your lines It's very rare that I see the monotetra refrains flow so beautifully. Excellent job! s and best wiseshes always... ~Genie~
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Genie, Thank you for the lovely and humbling words of praise you gave to me for this one. As my teacher in the Theory of Rhyme course you gave to me so much insight and inspiration. Your words mean so much. I am very happy that you enjoyed this because I enjoyed writing it so much. The picture called out to me and it made for my very first attempt at this form. I was so honored when it got a gold in my first try at a new form. I do love the monotetra for its songlike quality and I did feel this one flowed. You could say it cascaded down, cascaded down. Love and best wishes for you always, Joyce
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beautifully written piece thanks for entry
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Excellent.
I love this form and you penned such wonderful beauty, flow, power and meaning into this piece. Smooth rhymes and free feeling organized ideas. Form used well. Great job and good luck in Lady-Pegasus' contest
Ryan
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Ryan, Thank you very much for the applauses and your lovely words of praise. This was my very first attempt at this form after reading a couple that Pamela A Lamppa had done. I was proud of it and it got a gold which made me even happier. Now I have to hope that our Lady P likes it as much. LOL I'm very happy that you enjoyed it so much. Thank you for the best wishes also. Love and God bless, Joyce
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Thank you for your contest submission as well as for following the rules. A very well done Monotetra! Am i correct that I ahve seen more of these from you since this one? (If not, eh me mind playing tricks) As always, you do well at forms of all kinds! The gentle flow of this piece and the chosen words certainly are a compliment to the piece. Well done! I look forward to reading your required new write in this contest! Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e
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Lady P, This was my very first monotetra I ever wrote after seeing a couple that Pamela A Lamppa had done. I do love trying new forms and I fell in love with this one. I thought this would be a good prewrite to enter as you asked for our best and I was quite proud of this. Thank you for the applauses and lovely words of praise. Thank you also for inviting me to this wonderful contest. Love and God bless you my friend, Joyce
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Oh my goodness, Joyce! Now I can relate more fully to your words of beauty inspirated by the picture contest. I am so glad you took the time to explain this form. How elegant the monotetra with its meter of lyrical refrains! But even more elegant your talent as a wordsmith! This was phenomenal, me dear! A lil masterpiece--one of which you should be most proud. I just luv your poetry--everything I've read thus far. I'm like a little bird, perched up, waiting to gobble down more of those yummy morsels. ha! ♥ Belle
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Belle, Your beautiful words to me are as inspiring as the Amicalola Falls. I was taken by that picture on a journey through nature. You wouldn't believe how this just came out of me. You humble and inspire me all at the same time with the praise that you sing out. A song bird who is filled with love of life and all it holds. Thank you for the applauses also. The words mean more than they will ever mean. You bring light to all you touch, you are an angel here on earth and that is becoming more clear to me each and every day. Love ya my friend, Joyce
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What an amazing image!
I enjoyed this journey into the nature.
Great.
You deserve the trophy.
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sommerregen, Thank you for the applauses and the lovely words that you again give to me. I'm very happy that this piece brought you on a lovely journey with nature. Thank you for the congratulations on the trophy. Love and God bless, Joyce
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Wonderfully done, flows downward in cascading waves that react so well in the form chosen. A truly beautiful write. Congratulations on the Gold for this.
Great job.
Be well and be blessed, Mouser
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Dave, Thank you for the applauses and your lovely words to me. This was a wonderful form to try and I am very happy that my first attempt at it received a gold. I'm even happier that it spoke to you and that you enjoyed it so much. Love and God bless you my dear sweet friend, Joyce
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great!
joyce, id never heard of this form of poetry before, but due to the wonderful way that you wrote this poem, i know that i will like it! what a beautiful, peaceful write! i loved it!
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Dee, Thank you so very much for the applauses and your lovely words to me. It was a really cool form to try. I thank Pamela A Lamppa for that. She introduces me to many new forms. When I saw that contest I knew I had to try out the new form for that. Not go with one of the forms that I already know. It did make for a lovely nature poem. From the response I have gotten it seems that I did good for my very first one. I'm so happy that you enjoyed it. I am blessed to have met you here and you always make me feel so good. Love and God bless you my dear sweet friend, Joyce
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nice poem Joyce
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Michael, Thank you for the applauses and your lovely words. I'm very happy you enjoyed this piece. Love and God bless, Joyce
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This was an excellent poem. The title was perfect and the rhyme scheme was natural, not forced. The imagery was beautiful. You captured this form, seemingly without effort. I particularly liked the third stanza that said that when we are surrounded by nature's beauty we look inside ourselves to reflect. Good luck in this contest.
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peliroja, Thank you so very much for the applauses and your lovely words of praise that are so humbling.
I really enjoyed trying this form and I will have to do more. I'm very happy that it spoke to you in the way it did, if we all look inside ourselves we will see nature in all it's beauty. I hope it is not destroyed by man and that many generations going forward will get to enjoy this same beauty. I would love to see one of these flow from your pen. Thank you for the best wishes also. Love and God bless, Joyce
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Joyce this is just breathtaking, beautifully penned, Bella
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Bella, Thank you very much for the applauses and your lovely words. I'm very happy that you enjoyed this piece so much. Love and God bless, Joyce
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Wonderful!
This is Spectacular!
I loved it! This is form is wonderful, feels like a wonderful and magical song. Your word choice is very peaceful and beautiful! 'round and town' have the same vowel sounds but not the same rhyme, but still the poem overall is wonderful.
I really liked this and enjoyed reading it very much. If you have other poems with the same form please IM me the links.
Keep on writing and good luck in the contest.
Nooni
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Nooni, Thank you very much for the applause and your lovely words. I'm very happy that you enjoyed this piece. For the rhyme shceme you mentioned there, I took it directly from the allpoetry.com rhyming site. This is a very wonderful form and I do think I will be trying more of these. I discovered it from my friend and fellow poet here Pamela A Lamppa. I am not near as good a poet as she is, I did give this a go though. LOL From the comment I noticed she gave me I believe I succeeded with my first attempt. You should check out Pam, she is a brilliant author and a wonderful person. Thank you for the best wishes also. Love and God bless, Joyce
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brilliant
i love this joyce, i really really do.it's just so beautifully written, i love the form and the imagery is excellent, very well indeed and good luck in the contest,
kind regards,
floorboards
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Alex, Thank you very much for the applauses and such lovely words to me. I am humbled by your words of praise. This really was a wonderful form to attempt and nature was a good subject for it. I'm very happy that you enjoyed it and I thank you for the best wishes also. Love and God bless, Joyce
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very well written. the rhythm and rhyme are terrific. the imagery is fantastic. you amaze me with your talent. keep writing poet. God bless you
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Deb, Thank you very much for the applause and your lovely words of praise. I am humbled by your compliments. I am also very happy that you enjoyed my first attempt at this form. Love and God bless you my friend, Joyce
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WOWZA!!!
Excellent. OH MY you have picked right upon this form and done just a delightful job with it. EXCELLENT work. Best of luck in this contest. Oh I just think this was absolutely perfect! ~Pam
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Thank you so much for introducing this form to me!
Pam, Thank you so very much my dear sweet friend, both for the applause and your lovely words to me. This praise from the maestro humbles me to no end.
Thank you for introducing me to the form and I'm very happy that you enjoyed my first attempt so much. You always make me feel so good about myself when it comes to my work. Thank you for the best wishes also. Love ya, Joyce
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Very Pretty
I felt that this poem went well with the picture. I felt like I was there. Could hear the water trickle down to the bubbling pool. Great write..
Blessed Be
Green Mother Rose -
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Rose, Thank you very much for the lovely words you gave to me for this piece. I'm very happy that you enjoyed it so much and could feel from what I wrote. Always a positive thing for a writer. Love and God bless, Joyce
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wow, this is something, i mean really this is something, you made the pic on here come alive in my head to where i could smell the water and feel it keep it flowing
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Aaron, Thank you so much for the lovely words of praise you gave to me for this piece. I'm very happy that you enjoyed it and that my words brought it alive for you. Love and God bless, Joyce
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Well Done
Always interesting to do something for the first time incuding a new poetry form. I enjoyed this read very much. The rhyming is good with only about one line which seems a little "forced" in order to get it to work. [ends in "run"].
Not sure if it matters too much but, a foot generally consists of an accented syllable along with one or more unaccented syllables. Since this form is tetrameter and each of your lines has 8 syllables, the the line would have four, two syllable feet. If you note the poem that appears in the link, it's in iambic tetrameter. There are a couple of places in your poem where there is no accent in the foot, such as the line that ends in "heavenly," that normally is pronounced HEA-ven-ly.
Other than that, I love it. The flow and rhythm are good throughout. Keep it up - I sure enjoyed this one.
Paul
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Paul, Thank you very much for the applauses and your lovely words. I did see that first line you mentioned and I was having trouble with that one. I made a slight change there. I do understand about it not being in iambic tetrameter and even though the example poem given in Mr. Walkers example was iambic it does not state that it is necessary to do it in that way. I am very appreciative of your honest critiquing as it helps to learn and grow as a poet. I am also very happy that you enjoyed this piece as much as you did. Your praise is quite humbling. I will be trying this form again as I really enjoyed it. Love and God bless, Joyce
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Very nice, I'd not seen this form yet! Yay for learning. Especially liked "Climb to the top and touch the sky,
this beauty you cannot deny." Good luck and thanks for entering the contest! -
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RedAquarius, Thank you for hosting and the lovely words of praise you gave to me. It is always fun to try new forms and I enjoyed doing this very much. I'm very happy that you enjoyed it and I thank you for the best wishes also. Love and God bless, Joyce
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Very nice poem. I liked the format. You did a great job at describing a picture for us readers to see. It was lovely. Great Job!
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Princessdove, Thank you for the applauses and your lovely words to me. This really was a wonderful form to try and I will be writing more of them. I'm very happy that you enjoyed it and that it spoke to you as it did. Love and God bless, Joyce
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Inspiring piece my friend. You have outdone yourself with this one. Interesting poetry form I must admit. Terrific flow and rhyme. Good luck in the contest.
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spirit, Thank you so very much for your lovely words to me. This was a wonderful form to try and I enjoyed writing it. I'm very happy that you enjoyed this piece and I thank you for the best wishes. Love and God bless, Joyce
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Your words fit the image well and you did the form to perfection.smiles, terry
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Terry, Thank you very much for your lovely words. I'm very happy that you enjoyed this piece and your complements are quite humbling. Love and God bless, Joyce
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