just another night to worry about you.
just another night to cry myself to sleep.
just another night that i want you by my side.
just another night your gone.
just another night to be alone.
just another night to love you more.
just another night to miss you.
just another night i cant see you.
just another night to killmyself even more.
just another night
just anouther night
dear god just give be another night.
A contest entry
- Imagination by burdened.
600 points, ended April 30, 2007, 29 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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hummz, it was good, but i feel there something more can be written
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
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This is a great piece, and powerful. I can feel a little pain, in the start of the poem, which turns to a kind of desperation at the end. I like the repetition of just another night, I feel it puts a fair emphasis on the whole poem. And it makes it better as centre aligned, so as not to bombard the reader with the same lines on the left. A great job. Thanks for sharing, and take care XxX
A small suggestion:
In line 4, 'your' should be 'you're' if it is supposed to mean you are,
and in line 11, 'anouther' needs to have the 'u' taken out.
(also, please could you put your penname in the authors comment please)
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Yes, I have often asked for these things. Still I have not gotten them. I hope you do. Thanks for sharing.
As always I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy
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wow very powerful poem i loved it you done really great on this poem sad and very powerful
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very good
thank you for sharing this rather dark and deeply sad write with us,very good work,this is laid out much better my friend a little typing error on th elast line you put give be instead of give me..easy fixed,a very good write full of emotion 
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Very nicely written. I think you have done a great job here. Well done.
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Oh , I have had those kind of nights before in the past. This is a very good write where the reader can feel the emotion and desperation of the words.
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Very powerful....flowed really good. Great job! Smiles, terry
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