The World Order Of Tree Canopies
Oh, the leaves won tonight.
But what a fight.
And now we're all dead.
But the leaves are satisfied,
Because they won tonight; bloody bystanders.
Our gunfire ripped through the trees.
As they spurt sap,
We needed energy
To fight our enemies,
And so we sipped.
Evergreens shattered,
We could hear it miles away.
Our face paint smeared from sweat.
Our boots took us through it all, tattered.
Our hands pulled at triggers, wet.
We prayed they didn’t slip.
Vietnam looks in jealousy
At the hell we’ve created.
World War I bows in shame at our horror.
World War II looks in shock and awe.
P-51’s fall; bleeding smoke,
Watching dodging P-47’s.
F-14’s explode upon missile impact.
Dogfight of the century.
Our anger will not subside,
As we look through the forest
For the next victim.
We did not realize
That our hatred would kill
Every last one of us.
A new world order; New Leaf
Emerges from the rising smoke.
An order of peace, of nature,
Pure and clean.
Hellish Armageddon no longer overwhelms.
No more murderer, no more thief.
Author notes
"Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind. "
I'd say this one because I like it's balance of imagery and plot. Also to serve as a warning, I suppose.
A contest entry
- Show me your COMPASSION (unique contest with options) by Moonlit-Reveries.
750 points, ended February 10, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Future Poet by tara wilson.
500 points, ended March 14, 2007, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre Write Contest by SensualWhispers.
615 points, ended March 15, 2007, 100 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
i apologize for any misunderstandings. i thought it was an excellent poem, but I had so many entries i began removing poems just to get rid of some so the entrie list wasn't so long. nothing personal.
-
Very good...
..... excellent work. You've done a fantastic job on this poem and have really made a great imagery here. I like this. Thanks for entering the contest and the best of luck to you. kassie -
Vietnam looks in jealousy
At the hell we’ve created.
World War I bows in shame at our horror.
World War II looks in shock and awe. - Those are damn good lines!
-
A good twist and I was overpowered and greatly impressed with these lines :
"As they spurt sap,
We needed energy
To fight our enemies,
And so we sipped."
THat was quite powerful, great job on this.
Best wishes and good luck
-
Ahh yes,
WHEN we end up killing each off to extinction, as we must on this path we travel, then the planet will renew itself and survive us and even the smallest of single-celled creatures will have won the Final War, and done so by NOT fighting, how's that for irony? -
I loved this whole poem and your powerful vision here. I could see the war paint and the cruel devastation left by war. It's so sad how we keep going back to this destructive mode even though the damage has been devastating and continues to get worse.
I love your vision in the last 2 stanzas of what the world could be like instead of this.
Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest.
~Moonlit~ -
Loved the ending to this piece, it speaks volumes on what you are saying. No more murderer, no more theif.
If war is to end then the opressed must be allowed to find their own way without interference and others may not just march in and take over what is not rightfully theirs. Great piece.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
