Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Waiting for You

Missing image

Waiting for You

Hopefully, I stand on the platform waiting,
my spirits lift, as in the distance I glimpse
the silver train with its own proud alacrity.

As it draws nearer it grows in size; closer,
larger, closer, larger until it becomes the
giant metal monster that roars before me.

I step back half terrified from the vibration
in my chest and the fleeting thought that you
may not be a passenger at all… and I lost you.

A deafening thunderous metallic screech as
it slowly draws to a halt and doors slam open.
A protracted silence then, the masses emerge.

People and luggage and bustle all moving to
wherever they go. Strangers pass me by and
I’m invisible to them. I strain looking for you.

Then silence and an emptiness in the pit of my
stomach as doors close and metal giant exits.
Pulling away and tearing my heart out with it.

 

 

In a list

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Manoura xx
    January 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    awwww...this is soo sad in a way...sort of ...but beuatifully worded with such longing...and the words discribing it such as:

    doors close and metal giant exits.
    Pulling away and tearing my heart out with it.

    Just lyk that....great job though...BYE!!!!


  • Poetic Aphrodite
    January 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully worded, and such longing, Bella


  • PerVirtuous
    January 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The bellhop carries the luggage to the bridal suite, wondering why these people need so many hundreds of pounds of material for a stay where one would expect no clothing would be needed... then the realization sinks in that the people aren't coming at all, and the clothing is going to conduct the weekend by itself, content to bask in the mirrors of style and expectation, and it was likely no tip would be forthcoming...


  • Iohagh
    January 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Such tracks upon your soul

    Darling

    You lay down listening
    to the steel wheels
    and then dream glistening
    unknowing your destruction peels.

    Sweetness to whom fate
    lets go of kiss
    left at loves gate
    please surrender your miss.

    Smoosh

    Janet


  • January 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Such longing!

    Such anticipation and building up in this poem. The train coming you are waiting. Alas, left alone. Such sadness, perhaps it is the wrong train station. Run after the train; look on board. Or they just might be waiting for you at home.

1 - 5 of 5