We never spoke in high school
He was a football player, I was a nerd,
Then fate threw us back together
Both divorced and as free as a bird
That was twenty three years ago
Not much money for material things,
In fact it was just one week ago
We finally bought wedding rings
So this will be our first Valentine's Day
Where there is a ring on my finger,
Now I feel it's come full circle
The feeling shall forever linger
Our love runs deeper than a coal mine
His smile is as high as the sky,
He puts up with me each and every day
And most times I haven't a clue why
We are soulmates, lock, stock, and barrel
A musician, who writes songs about me,
Together all the time, feels weird if we're not
A match made in Heaven to a tee
Author notes
A TRUE STORY!
A contest entry
- Give Me Your Favorites by Sam-a-nantha.
825 points, ended February 5, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Random Choice Contest by Tconi.
302 points, ended June 2, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raven Qualifier - Erotica: Straight, Gay and Bisexual by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anniversary by badddgirl.
450 points, ended June 10, 2007, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - True Love by rahdeath.
550 points, ended June 24, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites---------And Quick!!! by Hebz.
425 points, ended June 16, 2007, 96 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Have you looked into your heart?~ by Sweetangelgrace.
425 points, ended June 29, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write Anything.... (following what I want) by Cool.Indifference.
400 points, ended July 6, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quick Contest by PoetrysAngel2041.
450 points, ended July 17, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - MY FIRST CONTEST: I WANT LOVE RIGHT NOW. PREWRITES ALLOWED...COME IN AND CHECK OUT by the-gifted.
600 points, ended September 26, 2007, 108 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Submit a poem you would give to "The One" in your life or how you would treat them by PureRomance.
950 points, ended November 13, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Marriage... by takemypainaway.
510 points, ended December 14, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Marriage / Wedding by RunningFree.
450 points, ended February 19, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Poems. by OurxBeginning.
300 points, ended February 12, 2008, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell me a Story by TabbyCat.
750 points, ended April 2, 2008, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 60 of 60
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Thanks for sharing your own personal love story! It was nice...and sweet.
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Awh, a cute and creative piece. I am glad everything worked out for the both of you. Love is a wonderful emotion and you expressed yours well.
Thanks for entering and good luck.
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I like that this poem is a story about an unconventional real partnership that took it's time to unfold. It made me giggle when you wrote these lines:
"He puts up with me each and every day
And most times I haven't a clue why"
Thanks for entering the contest! -
awww... very beautiful!!!!
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This is a very beautiful poem. This is very moving and it paints a picture of what true love really is and how much it means to those who seek it. You did a wonderful and amazing job portraying the traits of falling in love and finding the one. I look forward to reading more of your poetry when this contest is over and good luck to you and your poem in this contest. Keep up the fantastic work. Don't ever let anyone ever tell you to stop.
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AWWWWW!!! seriously my eyes watered. This just proves that love does exist and that everyone has a soul mate and can love again if they let there hearts do so. You have proven in this poem, what I hope to be true in life. As a teen I wish for things like this, but I hardly ever see them. You have shown me, it exist. That love is real and that if it is meant to be, god will let it happen and it shall. Thank you so much for entering. and I am so happy to hear, you found true love!
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Clearly the sentiment is very import and the message but I think you need to tinker a bit with it – for instance ‘our love forever linger~’ is frightful in view of the clear power of the emotion¡! (The smell of fish lingers.)
Some of the metaphors are a tad… unexpected, ‘our love runs deeper than a coal mine~’ for instance. I think it is probably the power rather than the depth you want to emphasise… no¿? (Unless of course you are intimating it is love among old fossils…
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Sorry this poem isn't really what i'm looking for i want it to be sappy not romantic.
Good poem though
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Very well done by the author!
I wish i could write poems the way u do! After reading your piece, it reached my feelings for many reasons...
GRACE
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Very nicely done, a nerd you say?
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WOW!!
Great emotions shown!!
Thanks for entering my contest & best of Luck
GloriousGift
Heba -
This is a very nice story, congratulations on your marriage.
As a poem, I don't detect meter and some rhymes are forced - for example the last line. In an abcb stanza the rhymes are few enough that good ones would be expected. I would suggest letting out the restrictions of rhyme, and choosing the words that fit the feeling. There is enough emotion here to make a good free form poem.
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Congrats in my contest, I am shocked that you havent won gold or silver before on this.
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From the heart
Our love runs deeper than a coal mine
His smile is as high as the sky,
He puts up with me each and every day
And most times I haven't a clue why
This is perfect!
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Firstly I would like to thank you for your entry into the 2007 raven contest. As you are aware this is the erotic category and I feel your poem would be better suited in the love section of the contest. http://allpoetry.com/contest/2352374 . But as you have entered I may as well continue and comment on your poem.
I feel back together is a rather strong word, given the pretence of your past relationship (not speaking). You have followed this with a short and delicate metaphor, adding strength to your poem.
I noticed in your second stanza you repeated the word ago twice maybe try changing the synonym of this word to highlight your statement. I also felt a little confused and unsure of what was 23 years ago, you met him again or your time spent at school. Going onto the third stanza I noticed feel and feeling quite close together, again you may want to consider revising your vocabulary as it seems quite crowded too close together.
The fourth stanza is a rather sad one, almost saying you’re not good enough for him. Also, some very nice metaphors in this stanza. Maybe the imagery of high (sky) and low (coal mine) indicates your emotions and thought process during this Iacking in confidence statement. The fifth and final stanza, lol, well you open this with an almost sorrowful plea, as if saying I know im not good enough but.. I am your soul mate. You also used an onomatopoeia which is good to see. I would consider deleting the final words though; I don’t think you needed to a tee to end you poem on. A match made in heaven would have been adequate.
Overall I feel you have a good poem a little tweaking can only but add to the strength and boldness.
Well done and thank you for entering the 2007 raven contest, I wish you the very best of luck
Moonlight raven
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sweet and gentile its beautiful
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Clique, but still its a sweet story and hopefuly you'llstay together always. great poem. thanks for entering
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Not horrible, but cliché. It's quaint, it's warm and fuzzy, and it is o so sappy.
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WOw, this one has really been around...lol and I am glad it has... glad I didn't miss it! Perfect for this contest! Thanks for sharing and best wishes
Frogz~ -
Thank you for joining in our contest
what a wonderful feeling it is to know you are with the one who touches your soul.
Warm thoughts
Frozentearz -
awww this is so cute, i'm happy everything worked out. good luck in the contest!
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awww!!
This write is so cute but i wasnt really looking for happy writes.. i was feeling more toward hurt and sad and anger and depressiong.. This is a very beautiful write and im really glad you two are woking out and have lsted all these years together.. keep up the great work and good luck in my contest!!
Shannon*Leah
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awwwww thats really sweet, I hope you have this love for ever, and that you cherish it. great write, thanks for entering
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LUV IT
amazing write, i love it it flows beautifully. -
This really is a beautifully heart felt write so full of raw emotion. Thank you so much for entering and good luck in my contest.
Bravo
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Heart warming. A very lovely poem. Good luck and thank you for the entry in my contest.
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Heartfelt write and so filled with love and emotion. How wonderful that you now have the rings, although you know marriage is more than this symbol of togetherness and love. It is state something though, and does make it that all the world knows too,
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wow... heartfelt and a true experience... LOVED IT good luck ♥ Kitty ♥
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Aww, sweetness. Its cool when you find someone you can feel that positive about. Sweetness and ligh all over you and this person.
He's very lucky to have you in his life
luvvs
xxxx -
wedding rings is a perfect poem
well crafted and likeable -
I just love this poem. So full of love for each other. Such an emotional write too. Excellent flow and content
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Congrats and best wishes on reunion. I saw a river called Godavari just breaking into two on approaching plteau then reunited to become bigger river as it sped to sea. oh! what a jubiliant noice it makes while reuniting. A nice piece you shared. Thanks also for your comments on my poem...Venu
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wow this was so sweet and tender it flowed so well I loved the first stanza been there before well minus the divorce lol this was veryt beautiful good luck and thanks for entering
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softly does it, the gradual history here for all of us to swoon over. nicely done
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AWWW!
This is so sweet...i just got married eight months ago...this will be my first v day married...how ever im not sure if i feel exactly what you do...but its similar to that...thanks for leaving a comment on mr sandman...i had some corrections to make on it..i was not aware of how many errors there where....but i thought i would come by and comment on one of your poems....so i wish you good luck...
peace and love
mj
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lol, when you left me a comment about reworking a poem, I didn't go back to look and see which poem it was. Now when I got to this one, though, I knew it had to be this poem. I can definitely feel the change when reading the poem. It flows a little better, and it really spoke to me. This is an amazing write! Thanks for entering the contest!
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wonderfully written
wow. Thats awsome. I tell ya, it reminds me of my husband and I. Two years after we were married, we finally got our rings. Great story line, plot and all.
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Awww! This is sooo sweet! I love it. I noticed it was in the list of poems that you focus on, and I can tell. It is wonderful. I'm not sure if you are still working on this or not. I sometimes go back and rework my poems. what usually helps me is reading them aloud to see if there are any awkward pauses or glitches in the rhythm. This one seems to flow really well. You use a ton of amazing imagery and metaphors. You're just chalk full of poetic devices! I love this. I will be reading more!
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out of this world
I see me and late husband in this poem with one change we had not been divorced. But all else was the same.
I don't know if any poem has ever touched me so strongly. This poem tell my sister's lives store to the tee. Even down to the wedding ring. I can remember the days when we mom and dad, who was her stepfather, would give money and I did too, even-though I was 11 yrs. her junior. I had finished college and had a Ph.D, and made a fairly decent living. But their love had no boundaries. The were made for each other. From title to the last sentence of the last stanza the flow, the rhyme, the message, the emotion, the unmistakable of ultimate love and two joining as one was perfectly expressed. Change nothing this is fantastic. One of the best love poems I've ever read.
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Precious story. I am a believe in true love will always find it's way. I love your story and congratulations. Love the poem.
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Sweet Write!!!
Awe, This is so sweet and I love it. It made me laugh. It's so great that you found your soul mate! I love that you write songs for him and I know that he sings them all for you.
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I liked the way you used so many cliché’s and in the way you broke up the stanzas. This poem was subtle, yet appealing. There is a romantic and loving theme, almost like a fairytale romance.
Well done.
The only recommendation I would give is to write another poem without the cliché’s to see where it may lead to you in your poetic journey.
Good Job Poet,
Best of luck to you in all of your writing endeavors and in your other goals as well.
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Cute. I like it.
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Oh lovely soooo... sweet I love those lines
"He puts up with me each and every day
And most times I haven't a clue why" the humour and tenderness in it and the last stanza is just amazing.
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I love the simplicity of this, but I have to tell you my stomach turns whenever I hear the words "soul mate" I think that it has become such a catch phrase for the gay and lesbian community that it needs a rest...never the less I am sure that is how you feel...sweet sentiment
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beautiful love it
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beautiful
thank you for sharing this very beautiful true story/poem with us,i love the way you have created a clear picture for us of a very strong bonding love,good luck in the contest
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I like this poem alot! the rhyming in the last stanza fell apart but otherwise a very good write! love finds people at the strangest times
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SO WONDERFUL
Tis is so beautiful write.
I lost my wife a year ago and we didn't have much.
But the love you shown in this write is the love i have never lost with mine.
8 -
Can certainly feel the love radiating through these words. Nice to find someone that works with you and not against you, that takes you as you are and does not try to change you, and who you can live with and love with forever. Great sentiments - easy to read and understand.!
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a real soulmate...
i'm so happy for you
to find someone who will be there for you for a lifetime
thank you for sharing your poem
i find it smooth and sweet
good luck
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Well written. Seems love makes those we care most about tolerable. So what if she snore, her laughter makes up for it.
A goof read
John
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as far as love poems go, this will do fine, your entry into the contest, as far as i am concerned, meets and exceeds the title "soft and gentle" Truly a wonderful view and tender tone. blessings and best wishes, ~richard
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So Cute ; ))
I love it!!! A very happy poem! Love these lines -
He puts up with me each and every day
And most times I haven't a clue why
We are soulmates, lock, stock, and barrel
An impeccable short poem. This poem inspires in different plateaus of patience and consistency in love. The results are worth the waiting. Match made in Heaven... key to paradise. All my love xx
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wow
this was a very touching poem -
This is so romantic and portrays the very essence of soulmates so perfectly. You should be proud of this work, it flows beautifully. Thank you for sharing a snapshot of your love, and God Bless you.
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This is so sweet. Well done and may your next 23 years be as happy as the last 23 apparently have.
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wow
I am a total nerd and I don't actually believe in happy endings anymore. -
such a sweet story, Nice write i enjoyed reading it.
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what an endearing write this is, I can feel your love radiate beyond your words. I know that the "he" in this piece must be so proud of you with this write, and most likely a bit teary eyed as well.
a very enjoyable read!
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