.
In the transient desert
of a cold winter rain...
I hobble accross the grass.
Discontent, but full of love.
A few egrets eye my charade:
A madman in shortpants and coat
looking for nothing...
Finding momentous treasures!
Watching the slow rain
creating rings upon the water-
The frozen dew resting on clover...
My heart overflows!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Wow, I like your style of writing! It is simple and consice and you don't actively try to emotinalize it. It reads almost more like a proverb than anything else. "A madman in shortpants and coat
looking for nothing..." really creates this spectacle for me! The three individual lines could almost read as a haiku-esq poem in and of themselves. Nice work!
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My heart overflows!
It is through our surrender to the moment, in those temporary cold seasons of our life, that man can bypass his inner tendencies of discontent. Your character here, the madman, seeks nothing, yet finds everything. His love of perfection, in what others might see as imperfection, is his key to enormous bliss.
This particular reference to the "madman" brings my thoughts to the great poet Kahlil Gibran. It is a wonderful reference to the usual reaction of the unenlightened masses toward one who has awakened.
"My heart overflows!"
Yes, as does mine, at the delight of this simple yet complex piece.
*bird*
TW
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Bravo!
Dear Presence, I wos right there with you on this walk.
We watched life, we breathed the salt air, we did not need to speak! Lovely...wonderful...bravo! Jane
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"Discontent, but full of love." I'm sorry you're discontent, Pres...but not at all surprised you're filled with Love...we ALL know the pleasure of that particular malady, my dear Friend...Like Marianne, I was thrilled to read the words "I hobble across the grass." "Blessed event", indeed...Keep right on hobblin', Sweetie...One of these fine days, you'll be runnin' & skippin' again...Beautifully & succinctly penned, dear Scribe...How wonderful to see a new post from your quill, let alone one so inherently uplifting...Yay, you!!!
Wanda
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years ago, a friend of mine had an Amy Burgess porcelain doll, Its name was Benjamin.
The tag story was that it was dressed up waiting for his grandfather while checking the time on the pocket watch his Grandpa gave him. The figurine was dressed in a hunter green short pants and coat and cap. (it was the short pants and coat that triggered the memory) The doll had molded hair as if it just been to the barber, a wonderful figure of anticipation much like this poem – anticipating and rewarded for the wait. Blessings and best wishes, ~r.
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Damn! You sure can sing a purty song ... makes me want to bundle up and go outside looking for egrets and frozen clover
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Several very special events play out in this short but amazing walk through the dessert-like winery landscape.
Beautifully written, it flows softly across the wcreen and in the readers mind.
But my favorite line is "I hobble accross the grass" a blessed event! Wonderful!
Marianne
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