How many miles longer must I walk before i'm seen?
How many minutes further must i wait before i come?
Can dread be any clearer than the colors that have been,
When closing time has covered all the shadows of the sun?
This scaffold on the graveyard of my latest resting place
Is ready to behead me just as soon as i can spare.
The head will fall away and none will know my face,
And the children will play soccer with my bleeding in the air.
My family that begot me will all miss me when i'm gone.
My friends and all their partners will live on and feel regret.
Some heartfelt recollections will be honoring me with song.
Some enemy that had damned me will be trying to forget.
Alone was how i lived, no help did i receive.
But now my wish has come; they'll love me when i leave.
A contest entry
- Dark and Depressing...Please enter by XHollowXEyesX.
700 points, ended April 6, 2007, 119 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bury Me In Black #2 (dark poetry) by EvenStarsBreak--x.
450 points, ended April 2, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This scaffold on the graveyard of my latest resting place
Is ready to behead me just as soon as i can spare.
The head will fall away and none will know my face,
And the children will play soccer with my bleeding in the air.
Oh, what brilliance! Thank you for commenting my poem, I figured I would return the favor, and I am glad I did. This is very well written and thought out. The above lines are my favorite. The imagery and flow are superb! -
"Some heartfelt recollections will be honoring me with song.
Some enemy that had damned me will be trying to forget.
Alone was how i lived, no help did i receive.
But now my wish has come; they'll love me when i leave."
Was my favorite part... good job and thanks for entering my contest. -
Great write, good flow and use of imagery. I loved it. Good luck!
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this is a great write. there were some lines I didnt understand completly, but none the less it was very touching and deep. especially love the ending
thanks for entering and goodluck
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