Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Aftermath

a three-dimensionally sinusoidal figure of a woman
with parallelogram lips dripping diamonds of saliva

lay next to him

her chest rises and falls
concave up, concave down

                                                breathless

while

her opalescent oval eyes stare ahead
(They didn’t know)
and her starfish hands rest motionlessly beside her
(They never knew)

1 + 1

Author notes

I take AP Calculus and AP English Literature. I was determined to make the two subjects overlap.

Tell me what you think.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Fridays Child
    January 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I take AP Literature and Composition. And Statistics... yuck! Anyway, I congratulate you on your attempt to combine two subjects that are far away from each as is probably possible. I LOVE the title. It says exactly what the poem is going to be about, and it immediately introduces the mathematical theme. I really adored your use of "sinusoidal," but "parallelogram" to describe the lips as a little too "I want to use a math reference here" for me. It seemed a bit forced. Also, I'm not sure if you intended this, but it works wonders for your poem: the last two lines leave the reader with a sort of "implied rhyme," and I love that. The reader wants to finish the "equation" (even though it has no equals sign so..." with "equals 2" in his or her head. And obviously "two" rhymes with "knew," and I just love that! This is was really interesting, and I mean that genuinely, not because I don't know what else to say about. Never give in, Annandhel.

    • GiveUPtheGhost
      January 18, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hey, thank you! Your comment is greatly appreciated. Another friend of mine said the same about parallelogram. I will consider changing it. Let me know if you have any suggestions. Thanks again!


  • sharkofdhoom
    January 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think it's crazy how you can do that....crazy in a good way. I guess it's a good thing i'm in AP calc too, otherwise i think i'd be overly confused. YAY AP TESTS!.....runs and hides

    • GiveUPtheGhost
      January 18, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hey! You take AP Calc. too! We are mathematical brethren!


      • sharkofdhoom
        January 18, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        and i'm in AP lang & comp, plus AP spanish and AP physics....i'm going insane....i know it.


  • Cannonsfire
    January 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ok I think you have overlapped, forgive my ignorance I know a parrallelogram but sinosoidal??? please explain?

    • GiveUPtheGhost
      January 18, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Sinusoidal is a continuous, repeated curve-like graph. It comes from the trigonometric function sine. I used it as a metaphor for the girl's curvy figure. Thank you for the comment; I really appreciate it.

1 - 7 of 7