No Meaning

sometimes i remeber the darkness of my past
this pain is just too mcuh, forever it last
i don't want to die with all of this regret
all these terrible memories I never forget
just one moment, i'd love so much to see
my eyes clouded by pure hate, my onely glee
if onely they saw taht fear in my eyes
and understand all of the reasons i truely despise
so many i need and no longer want me
more i think of it, the more i'd hate to see
fake in front of you, lies slowly come out
real is beneath my skin, fill my soul with so much doubt
theres something inside of me that pulls beneath
consuming, controlling, and confusing every breath
these wounds will never heal, the words are still there
i can't seem to find myself inside of here
distracting, reacting, acting like a real friend
its so haunting to know the truth of this
against my will, i stand in your direction
dusturbed to see whats there, in my reflection
im born to this life without meaning
i destroy everything in me, inside of my being
i have been shielding it, confusing what is real
this life is going downhill, no more do i feel
discomfort in this world has pulled itself upon me
im prepared to go, not to be sorry
today i feel it everywhere, to much pressure to take
this presence beside me, someone i'd made
take you own time, im about to beat this war
between me, real, and illusion, revenge this old score
to those who love me, i refuse to sit here and stand it
its going away, i'll be buried the question of the answer
everything you say will be left behind
i will go on without you, not even in my mind
i want to be in another place, not here
you don't understand what goes on, the fear
i need a place to go and not have this
find another person to take, for i wil not miss
the hurt that binds me, hold me tight
you tried to take the best of me all those nights
defeat yourself to achieve that feeling
as this rain drips around me, i still have no meaning
if you ever find me, i won't be the same
nothing can stop the land of this pain
the darkness holding me, as i go
i want to say goodbye, but you will never know
my time is slipping, falling away
i watch it count down to the end of each day
one i really don't know how
nothing really matters when you look at it now
so now you want to take it all back, inhale
sucking every word you said to make this fail...