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When Will You Remember?

When will you remember?
The times we spent together,
reading books
sharing looks
walking.
Talking.

I was your ragamuffin girl
dancing on your shoes,
around I'd twirl.

Shared favorite food,
had better moods.

Liked the same stories,
liked the same songs.
There were never so many wrongs.

Drinking milk on your lap,
shaving cream on my face just like that.

When did things turn so ratty?
When did you stop being my Daddy?

Author notes

After a certain time, I didn't have this relationship with my Dad anymore. Now he's my father, not my daddy. I've replaced him with another man who's a father figure to me. It's sad, but somehow, I don't want my Dad to be my 'Daddy.' It's kind of too late now...

Dear Katie,

Why am I writing to you anyways? =P.

-Me.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • as.phy.xi.ate. gold member
    May 9, 2007

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    Your writing to me cuz your are slowly starting to LOVE me! lol =P

    I liked this piece and I'm very sorry that you and your father where distanced but this is a very well written piece and I'm glad you at least have another father figure around.

    Thanks for the entry!!

    ~Katie


  • RT michaels
    January 31, 2007

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    at some point, everything has to grow up, even the images we have of other people. A very sad event that you capture very well within your poem. I particularly like the line "I was your ragamuffin girl". This line, to me, represents all of the ideas that you had about your daddy and all that you have lost. Thank you so much for your entry!

  • Sam-a-nantha
    January 30, 2007

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    This explains the relationship I have with my father, too, and this is something that I could send him as a little eye-opener. I thought you wrote this very well. It's a sad subject, and one that is not easy to work with. Emotional subject are never easy, but you managed well with this one. Your rhyme scheme is a little different. It sort of confused me and distracted me the first time I read the poem, but after I read it again, it was better. Your style is very unique, and it works for this poem. It flows. Nice write! Keep up the good work!


  • Sanguine Silence
    January 28, 2007

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    This is a very sad, yet sweet poem. It tells a sad story, yet somehow makes it into something simple yet wonderfully crafted in its own way. Well done on this, I can tell it is heartfelt.


  • Lady-Pegasus
    January 24, 2007

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    AWWW! so sweetly sad and tender, nice flow and wonderful ending, however sad it may be. BTW it is never too late to have a good relationship with your family, until it really is TOO LATE, final endings can bring us to that realization all too well... perhaps try to mend that broken fence, ther eis no rules to say you cannot have 2 father figures in your life, or even more. GOOD LUCK!! Pe


  • Black Raevyn
    January 23, 2007

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    Its sad how someone can be close to you and then for no apparent reason they start to fade away and, not to sound harsh but, loose intrest in us. Anyway I like your work, keep it up.


  • teenagefailure
    January 23, 2007

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    this is really good... very sad that your relationship has changed with your father, but at least you still have one.... Dont you? I'm unable to tell, but anyway this poem sounds so sad and there is alot of emotion put into this good job!!!!
    If you wouldnt mind commenting on my work to.... thanks!!
    E~R~I~N

1 - 9 of 9