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Prodigal Prophet

Night falls upon the last day.
Village banners draped across shattered glass.

 

At the helm stands the broken beast,
casting out the last of the peace dwelling saints.

The mindless masses gather at the square,

screaming for production to begin in the bowels of the virgin forest.

 

Men who live in quiet desperation,

sharpen crucifixes to impale the righteous,

who were always more than happy,

to beat the dead horse,

at the altar where the stable once stood. 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 98 of 98

  • Raining Kisses silver member
    October 20
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    wow...this is e xcellent...stark but excellent
    T


  • AngelBellerose gold member
    October 9

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    a dark poem my dear friend with a message of thrills that send many chills ..well penned dear one hugs Angel♥


  • glenn shannon silver member
    October 4

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    very nice dark pen here enjoyed the thrill ride a lot cheers and good luck in the contest


  • Jade.Butterfly gold member
    July 29
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    Whoa!
    This was powerful,deep and intense!!
    so vivid gave me goosebumps.
    even though it was short
    You had me hanging on every word
    Awesome
    Mandi


  • TheStreetReverend
    June 22

    Edit | Reply

    as always

    It's wonderful, it's like you can read my mind. Your flow is always so...(loss for the right word).... elegant. bravo friend!


  • Imperfect Beauty
    April 5
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    A powerful piece, beautifully written, Well done!


  • Kathleen a Nazarene
    March 26

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    It's always

    darkest before the dawn. What imagery here! I see a mosaic of past, present & future. Hints of Biblical scenes mixed with strands of visions and allusions of today blend to paint a haunting picture. The title of Prodigal Prophet is fitting for this write!


  • log-home-guy-Nic
    March 21
    Edit | Reply

    paints for me another picture

    I can see this site of crucifiction.


  • Rose Angel gold member
    February 4

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    Such drama in this deep write...Vivid images of days of medieval days, as the crusades...religious zealots that in cruelty "sharpen crucifixes to impale the righteous" Your last lines give impact to the whole poem..."who were always more than happy, to beat the dead horse, at the altar where the stable once stood"
    Cleverly penned, poet... scribing! Glad I stopped by to read!


  • Tirrell
    December 28, 2008
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    The final tercet is stunningly beautiful, as the poem itself is moving beneath the tides of moon, serenely beautiful in all its imagery. Well done my brother.


  • movedon
    November 1, 2008

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    '..at the altar where the stable once stood.'

    never stop writing. you are too perfect to stop.

    Mylee


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    October 12, 2008

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    Excellent

    'tis a fine write, indeed. You've expressed your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us.

  • Poemdancer
    August 10, 2008

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    Interesting write, strong, vivid word choice, and a great deep meaning. Excellent write, good job! Thank you for entering my contest!


  • XxGoldenxXDawnxX
    July 25, 2008
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    This has a really deep atmosphere about it - I imagined monks for some reason.


  • Lyndon gold member
    June 27, 2008

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    more then happy => more THAN happy.
    This poem has lines which are statements in themselves.
    At the end you have a kind of mixed metaphor in altar and stable; at least, with no development of the notion.
    There is certainly something very apocryphal to the flavour of this poem and the title reinforces this.
    Thank you for being a part of the anthology of this contest.


    • Lowell Poe
      July 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you my good man,
      I have corrected that.

      Lowell Poe.


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    June 24, 2008

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    There is such vivid imagery in this piece and the obvious struggle between good and evil at the ultimate level. Your verse is strong, powerful and filled with focus. A very well written entry to this contest. Thank you and best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela


  • Cat10
    June 14, 2008

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    thank you for entering! this is a very interesting piece! you did a great job here. I really enjoyed it. good luck


  • kao3
    May 30, 2008

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    This poem is eerily dark. It seemed to have a melancholy
    feel from the author, but with the last stanza I felt as if you were cheering on the helmsman. I could use some clarification here if you got time? Great piece and good luck at Winklings!


  • checkmate
    May 28, 2008

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    well written. the words were great- took me somewhere different with sharp imagery and haunting clarity. good work.

    best of lucks,
    checkmate.


  • The Angellightwolf
    May 20, 2008

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    Good Write!

    I like how you incorporated beaat the dead horse in this piece. Your writing took me back to the days of the crusaders. Thank you for sharing


  • The Otep
    May 20, 2008

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    Wow, amazingness! The words that you use, whoa...inspirational!!!
    *needless to say, you are my in fav collection of poets (along side my other two favorites: Egdar Alan Poe and Kevin Max )


  • EternitysLastWish
    April 17, 2008

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    You have this outstanding talent of using simple language in a complicated way, it's very commendable.

    I really enjoyed this. I love the metaphors you've used and although the message behind the overall piece is somewhat ambiguous, I think I know what you're trying to say but I'm not sure I want to say in case it's completely wrong. Nevertheless, I've always believed in the individual interpretation and my own was enhanced by the fantastic quality of writing.
    The start is great, the way you've started it with the ultimate ending "Night falls upon the last day."
    and wonderful visual metaphors "Village banners draped across shattered glass" and "screaming for production to begin in the bowels of the virgin forest." excellent.
    Also, I may be wrong, but to me, the last two lines summarise the main bulk of the piece... in a very clever way.

    Well done, don't change a thing!

    Jess x


  • TabbyCat
    April 17, 2008

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    I really have no idea what this means. Maybe I'm just dense. Even so, the metaphor here is powerful...just unclear to me.


  • Rheea gold member
    March 12, 2008
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    you always write in simple puzzles


  • x--nocturnia--x
    March 4, 2008
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    Fascinating write ^.^ Best of luck


  • rite
    March 1, 2008

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    Strong words, harvested from a mindscape where many dread to go. Reality seems bizarre and impossible only to those who never set foot outside the familiar realm of lies and anguish, fearing they might encounter events and thoughts they are unable to handle, not aware of the fact that there is where they were intended to be kept prisoner of ghouls trapped inside dimensions that they crave to be our last stop too. How utterly mistaken they are. Thank you for creating and sharing. Take care,

    Chris


  • grannyeri gold member
    February 29, 2008

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    Always those who are frightened, who know they are not right, that want to crucify those they know are really much greater than they are. Liked the metaphor you used in this poem. Am surprised it has not taken gold yet. THink it might yet do that in just the right contest.


  • Star Shine
    February 21, 2008

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    This is so well done! Very prophetic, strong images spring from your words. Let us hope there is time for the peacemakers and the meek to indeed inherit.


  • satan-
    February 18, 2008
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    This is absolutely incredible...I'm totally blown away. Thanks for entering!

  • Vengence
    February 12, 2008
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    Amazing....

    Words wouldnt do it justice...I totally understood, thank you. Keep writing...


  • Metaphorist
    February 9, 2008

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    Interesting imagery especially that of "the bowels of the virgin forest" and "Men who live in quiet desperation / sharpen crucifixes to impale the righteous". Thanks for entering!


  • MichaelLeeSmyth
    January 31, 2008

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    This does not only a good showing of the sins of the past, but also where we are now. Depressing as it may be, where our society is going.
    Huzzah


  • AlwaysbeBIG
    January 9, 2008

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    Nice

    It's true, the contest is anonymous...but I think I know who wrote this poem.

    This was incredible...Your style is just...great, and I love it. This was a great poem.

    "Men who live in quiet desperation,
    sharpen crucifixes to impale the righteous,


    who were always more then happy,
    to beat the dead horse,
    at the altar where the stable once stood."

    Were my favorite lines...


    Thanks for entering, and good luck in the contest



    Brandon


  • creationsfromheart
    December 30, 2007

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    This is a well written poem

    This is an excellent poem however it is a silver as well as a hm I wish you the best of luck in the other contest! This is excellent!


  • jazman
    December 26, 2007
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    from the Jazman

    loved the diction,but this 0ne was too sharp for the Jazman


  • Creatress silver member
    December 25, 2007

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    just love this poem...holey crap it is amazing! Loved the power the message the whole shebang. You deserve the gold.
    "Men who live in quiet desperation,

    sharpen crucifixes to impale the righteous"
    Brilliant. A+

    Creatress


  • Inverted-Hearts
    November 18, 2007

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    Hmmm, I get the feeling of being in the time of distruction before forgiving, asking, or seeking even the truth. As if to yell out "whitch" to that of a mear passerby just to watch her burn, to feel secure, when realy it was the eyes of men who bewitched the stars. To accuse only for delight. Like the beheadings in France. Only for show, and what started as a true concern has now turned into that of a circus.

    Wonderful write, many takes on it.
    Again with the dead horse, very clever and lots of imagrey.
    Then back to the leaders of the time eara, Killing knowing it is wronge, only to feed the blood thurst of the town to ensure no revolts. Very French. Lovely.

  • ecrivain01
    November 17, 2007

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    Excellent write ...

    and truthfully I can't see anything you would need to do to improve it. It seems to work perfectly as is.

  • creationsfromheart
    November 17, 2007
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    flows nicely, leaving one with a mental image, in dead, I do however think there is a extra space on the first line " shattered glass "
    over all a good write


  • Elenriel
    October 29, 2007

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    Well written and enjoyable! I like this very much. It flow in an interesting manner and it sends a powerful message. Thank you, good job, and keep it up!


  • monstruo
    October 6, 2007

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    Well, I've went over this three times and every time I run through it I start with a somewhat solid grasp of the mental image I'm painting, but as I progress, I seem to lose it. The one word I hung up on was 'production'. What type of production is occurring in the forest? Regardless, the possible depth of reactions I gained from this was amazing. The violence of man. The brainlessness of man when presented with violence as a means of salvation/retribution. Even the ending, giving off images of men standing with bibles while the world closed in on them with torches and swords. Final note, that is one hell of a way to start a poem with this intensity!

    -Jake


  • The Lycan Dreamer
    October 1, 2007
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    i dig it, very well written


  • MissStranger
    September 29, 2007

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    wao...this was truly amazing!simple yet such powerful words!the title strickes from the start but does not spoil the magic of the rest,leaving the reader to explore through meanings!well done!


  • esroddo silver member
    September 28, 2007

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    Wow this is deep my friend
    I love this stance, You just blew me away, (LISA)
    "Men who live in quiet desperation,

    sharpen crucifixes to impale the righteous,

    who were always more then happy,

    to beat the dead horse,

    at the altar where the stable once stood."


  • DiamondsStartAsCoal
    September 16, 2007
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    well shit, that was amazing and I'm just about speechless. wow, i don't even know, great job


  • vitamin.M
    September 16, 2007

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    who were always more then happy,
    to beat the dead horse,
    at the altar where the stable once stood.


    very good...strong piece..


  • Matthew OMeara
    September 16, 2007

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    Pretty damn good, really. It has depth, creativity, everything I'd just as soon find amusing, and enjoyable. Good job, Lowell.


  • daisybee
    September 16, 2007

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    Brilliant

    I felt like I was witnessing this whilst reading, your use of words is so spare, yet vividly captures so many meanings and images-honestly brilliant.
    who were always more then happy,

    to beat the dead horse,

    at the altar where the stable once stood

    Wow. this conveys so much-how the old makes way for the new, how we rewrite so much history with our bloodthirsty need for dominance over man and beast too.

    Bravo.


  • frenzy
    September 14, 2007
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    Wow very nice! It gives one a feeling of hopelessness. It's dismal, and in a good way!

  • -Thomas-
    September 9, 2007

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    Great poem! Keep on writing!
    ~Thomas




  • Classic Crayons
    September 1, 2007

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    shiny coinkydink

    This was great.
    what's funny is I'm studying the colonization of the americas and I had to right an essay on the religios persicution that was happening at the time.


  • arcs215
    August 30, 2007

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    wow I really love the lines
    Men who live in quiet desperation,
    sharpen crucifixes to impale the righteous,
    peace
    ~*maymay*~


  • anaisnais
    August 30, 2007

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    Quite a battle here. Very descriptive imagery and very dark and deep. Don't think this is a poem that all would understand but very good none the less. Well done you!


  • lucy sky-diamond
    August 30, 2007

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    wow!

    I LOVE the line
    Village banners draped across shattered glass.
    this poem has a great flow, and great ideas too. especially the reference to the stable; i took it to mean both a horses stable and the stable minded. a wonderful write with some really vivid imagery, congrats on your hm, it was very well deserved

    lucy
    *hugx-o-x


  • just mercedes gold member
    August 28, 2007

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    gloomy

    very dark take on dark times. Unspecified troubles, prophets and saints and masses, I miss the metaphor of the dead horse though, flashes of Guernica, emotionally disturbing piece. Thank you


  • Dragons Lady
    August 28, 2007

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    Wonderful imagery you have conjured with your words. This is a marvelous poem. Congratulations on HM.


  • ImJay
    August 28, 2007

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    Really Good

    Congrats on being an honorable winner, your poem was absolutely fantastic. I loved the images, they seemed to just jump out at me. My favorite part was the last two stanzas:
    "Men who live in quiet desperation,
    sharpen crucifixes to impale the righteous,

    who were always more then happy,
    to beat the dead horse,
    at the altar where the stable once stood"

    The comment about, "Where the stable once stood." was a great double meaning, referring to the horse stable and the men which were lost, stable and courageous. great job! Best wishes and good luck in future writtings.


  • anaisnais
    August 28, 2007
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    Wow! You think deep my friend, again a marvelous use of imagery and clever use of language. Great!


  • leigeoflyrics
    August 28, 2007
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    wow...that was...incredible...


  • raggyann
    August 27, 2007
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    this is so wonderfuly writen


  • Could I be
    August 27, 2007

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    Oof-da!

    Good indeed, I really must say.
    Thanks for the read, and have a nice day!

    Seriously though: Awesome. This is the stuff I wish I could come up with!

  • Tirrell
    August 27, 2007

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    Twisted and divine, the imagry of this peace is wonderful, as the metaphors are really edgy, very nice work here!


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    August 18, 2007

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    A Very Interesting Twist...

    I love your originality and wonderful use of metaphor in this old worlde masterpiece!! Best of luck to you in this contest!!! Peace, Cyn


  • darkwitch
    August 16, 2007

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    this is very deep and well thought out and the feelings pour off the screen, one must really read it more than once to understand all this.

  • Creatress silver member
    August 10, 2007
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    wow, this...incredible. What a gimps into a story I wish I could visit more of. This is some powerful stuff, not your every day read. Keep this up!

    Creatress


  • Fairy Nutty Buddy silver member
    August 3, 2007

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    Wow, same kind of feeling in this poem, which I'm sure is why you recommended both of these to me. People are crazy. To look back on history, and even now, at how people act in certain situations. We live in a world so different in the US at this time, I wonder how we would have acted being in the middle of such chaos. I wonder, but have no desire to really find out!

    A very intense and compelling write. Thank you for sharing.

  • EternitysLastWish
    July 28, 2007
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    Very haunting! An exquisite piece that sends shivers up my spine every time I read it. Wonderful use of vocabulary and words, which adds to the fantastic imagery this piece is full of.

    Keep it up


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    July 28, 2007
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    Awesome!!!

  • esroddo silver member
    July 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Wow this is deep my friend

    I love this stance, You just blew me away, (LISA)
    "Men who live in quiet desperation,

    sharpen crucifixes to impale the righteous,

    who were always more then happy,

    to beat the dead horse,

    at the altar where the stable once stood."


  • cre8tiv-writer
    July 26, 2007
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    Very Nice!!


  • giving up on poetry
    July 24, 2007

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    wow in such a small space you conveyed quite abit of human vanity and lust for construction while veiling there own destruction and the change of the time for areas once divine wow i must be stuck in muse mode i made that ryhme without even trying lol good write i would put my favorite line but i doubt you want to reread your own poem in your comment lol


  • Violent Messiah
    July 21, 2007

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    VIVID

    As I was reading this I was getting visuals of the trials of the Templar Knights. I really like ..."Men who live in quiet desperation,
    sharpen crucifixes to impale the righteous,
    who were always more then happy,
    to beat the dead horse,
    at the altar where the stable once stood..."

    Hearts are easily swayed and fear what they do not understand. It has been a pleasure reading this.


  • TheMoodchangingPoet
    July 14, 2007

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    Hmmm... this was very good.
    It was kinda vague and the story seemed unfinished. It would help make it more interesting, in my openinon, if you give us a longer story about the village and all... Even without that, it is still very good.
    I loved it.
    Well done


  • Random Goldfish gold member
    July 10, 2007

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    *Stares at Screen*

    It had everything I like! A village, a forest, elements of nature, and tragedy! *Does riverdance* I love it!


  • passim silver member
    June 18, 2007
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    A little bit deep for me, but I admire your ability to express with such vivid images.


  • Exodus gold member
    May 28, 2007

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    My goodness. I think I have found another brilliant poet here on AP. This is just amazing. You truly do have a talent for imagry that is rare and wonderful. I particularly like the fourth stanza, I have always enjoyed religious refrences if they are done right and you have done exceptionally well. Thank you for another awesome piece of work


  • The CheshireKat
    May 11, 2007

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    though i haven't read enough of your poetry to know if it is your regular style/habit or a phase in your writing, you certainly use a lot of religious imagery. something i have neither the balls nor the resources to pull off. neither do a lot of people who do apply it.
    i'm not sure i get this, but there is a sense of corruption that permeates the peice. especially toward the end. who are these "righteous" people who were more than happy to beat a dead horse??


  • AshleyInWonderland
    May 2, 2007
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    You have real talent. And you certainly have my respect.

  • ajalee
    May 1, 2007

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    Oh you were right, I do like this one! Reminds me so much of Nietzsche's "herd mentality" with the mindless masses, Thoreau with the men of quiet desperation, and the New Testament with the crucifix. You've touched on some aspects of human nature that are hard to describe/put your finger on--it could only work in a poem, and you've pulled it off wonderfully!

  • Nicole Hanna
    May 1, 2007

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    The last two stanzas are the ones that really spoke the loudest to me. The first half of the poem could be read on so many different levels of understanding and interpretation, but those last two stanzas is what brought it home and made the piece real to me, as a reader. I loved how it seemed to end so succinctly, and forced me to just accept what was said. Very nice.


  • Wulfareika
    April 28, 2007

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    First of all, thank you for your message about this poem and please pardon my late comment, it's been rather busy on here, but now I have some time to just look about This is really great, there's a melancholy, desperate feel about it, if that makes sense It has a medieval, dark ages, kind of ancient village kind of feel to it, and I like that a lot I feel these were two lines that should go down in history;

    "Men who live in quiet desperation,
    sharpen crucifixes to impale the righteous,"

    Really brilliant, especially those two lines. I like the sort of hidden message in the last stanza as well. Actually, I just really liked this poem overall Well done, a great write!


  • Violent Messiah
    April 2, 2007
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    Brilliant!!!!!


  • mysticstorm gold member
    March 30, 2007

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    Fabulous write! Interesting from start to finish. The deep metaphor leaves one with many thoughts. I read it several times just to see what I found. Each time something new came to me. So much power in it's brevity.
    I could see the twist from those who impale the so called righteous, to the impaled "beating the dead horse", (so to say).  The last two stanzas say it all. We are all very judgmental and preconceiving, aren't we?
    Loved reading it all 5 times!
    Best to you!
    Love,
    mystic


  • Lady in Love
    March 30, 2007

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    Medevil times, dark agaes is what this poem conjures up. Age without reason, chaos...Priests and Kings torn apart, villages plundered, woman raped. Unknown life ahead. Taht's just me...lol, Nicely done. Tish


  • superstition
    March 29, 2007

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    This is an incredible piece of writing! You were able to conjure up so many thoughts in me as I read through this and then even more when I went back and read it one more time. It speaks volumes in all senses. The metaphor is fabulous as is all the imagery in general. Definitely a piece you should be proud of! My favorite line would be the one that everybody else pointed out to you already...although, the stanza to follow it was the perfect wrap-up. Excellent.


  • The Order of Chaos
    March 29, 2007

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    Very imaginative peace... I enjoyed this. My favorite lines were:

    Men who live in quiet desperation,
    sharpen crucifixes to impale the righteous

    That line alone says several things to me.

    The Only Dependable thing about the future is Uncertainty.
    -Chaos


  • Lj-
    January 28, 2007
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    This was very interesting.

    Great poem!


  • Dark Magician
    January 26, 2007

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    kewlness

    This was awesome. I like this stanza the most
    "Men who live in quiet desperation,
    sharpen crucifixes to impale the righteous," This was just so intersting. Great write and Great job!!!

  • junkyardking
    January 25, 2007
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    Great

    Very powerful poem. Brings images which left me thinking for a while. Love it.


  • Ethereal One gold member
    January 24, 2007
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    great imagery

    Your words bring such powerful images to the readers mind. I like the subject matter of your poem, and I especially like:

    "Men who live in quiet desperation,
    sharpen crucifixes to impale the righteous,"

    Very thought evoking write.

    Ethereal Melody


  • TJCasser
    January 21, 2007

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    I like the imagery this summons up in my mind while reading it, as if it were the start of a longer tale. Well written, truly. (I think, though, on the last line you mean 'altar' (a place of sacrifice) rather than 'alter' (to change). Just a thought.)

  • galkimba
    January 20, 2007

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    I loved it! It is exactly like you've said! I was surprised how short it was, but still being direct~ Looke forward to more..excellent write! *heart*

  • galkimba
    January 20, 2007
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    Talk about hittinh the nail on the head!!


  • TangibleTattoos
    January 19, 2007
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    this was absolutly astonishing! I loved it! but.. um.. how do you"sharpen a crucifix"...?


  • green mother rose gold member
    January 18, 2007

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    This is good..

    I this. I was disappointed when it ended. I wanted more.. haha Great write..
    Blessed Be
    Green Mother Rose


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    January 18, 2007

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    WOW

    This is something,you show up the world for what it really is.Cool Even the self rightous who beat the dead horseLaughing I would say this is a master piece... great work my brother...

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