when light returns to him and me
he glances around quickly just to see
he’s in another jail but yet this ones dark
the walls are of rough stone and he sees a mark
foot steps fill the room then stop
some one says faint words and then there’s a pop
a door swiftly disappears behind him
and the light seems to dim
he is slowly brought down a dim hall
the people leading him where scarcely tall
the hall after awhile opened up into, it
it was so captivating he had to just sit
where was he?
could this really be?
Author notes
gasp
a series of poems about a man in a desprit situation
In a list
A contest entry
- Truth Of Life contest round THREE (invite only) by xandercheerios.
1000 points, ended July 31, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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The rhyme scheme is pretty plain, pretty ordinary... and the rhythm is definitely not very consistent, without the greatest use of iambs. I really hope you haven't already written your fourth part, because I am not allowing pre-writes for any of the following rounds. Talk to me if you need, and if you do advance, be warned, it only gets much harder from here on. And it's "desperate".
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to tell you the truth i am a much better poet now then when i wrote this, and yea when i submited this i looked at it and told myself it sucked lol. i am aware that beyond this point in the contests there are no more prewrites, tyvm for telling me though. have a great day!!!
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