While earthen feet this path pursue
In quest for truth and blissful peace
Within confinements soul-parts glue
Dead concepts out of reach increase
While heart-waves of compassion cease
The avid fangs of mind now clasp
Most thoughtless words emerge with ease
Through tongue’s sarcastic, ruthless rasp
Deceptions felt through worldly grasp
Not this – not that, the chosen way
Imprisoned cells for freedom gasp
While Spirit’s seeds in freedom sway
All beings karmic laws obey
Like puppets within Spirit’s hand
“I am the doer”, we might say
Yet Truth we do not understand
A speck of dust, a grain of sand
No lesser are than this vain shell
Awareness wakes at faith’s command
When mind is freed from pride’s dark spell
All truths in Truth forever dwell
Through Maya’s veil Truth is concealed
Emerging from illusion’s well
Transparent nature – Self revealed
***
Transparent nature – Self revealed
Emerging from illusion’s well
Through Maya’s veil Truth is concealed
All truths in Truth forever dwell
When mind is freed from pride’s dark spell
Awareness wakes at faith’s command
No lesser are than this vain shell
A speck of dust, a grain of sand
Yet Truth we do not understand
“I am the doer”, we might say
Like puppets within Spirit’s hand
All beings karmic laws obey
While Spirit’s seeds in freedom sway
Imprisoned cells for freedom gasp
Not this – not that, the chosen way
Deceptions felt through worldly grasp
Through tongue’s sarcastic, ruthless rasp
Most thoughtless words emerge with ease
The avid fangs of mind now clasp
While heart-waves of compassion cease
Dead concepts out of reach increase
Within confinements soul-parts glue
In quest for truth and blissful peace
While earthen feet this path pursue
***
Author notes
watch the video :
http://s247.photobucket.com/albums/gg123/poetmaa/?action=view¤t=17notthis-notthatyetallisone.flv
my constantly updated video-poetry :
http://allpoetry.com/poem/show/3791503
****************************************************
a tentative to conciliate two seemingly contrary concepts of Indian philosophy, and to reveal their essential Oneness ...
* "Maya" :
Simply expressed : the veil of illusion, superimposed on Truth
** "Neti- Neti" … Not this – Not that :
A technique of Self-realization, originating in the tradition of Advaita-Vedanta (Non-Duality) of India, which uses the approach of “not this – not that” in order to explore the concept of Brahman (the Divine), which is ungraspable by the mind, avoiding affirmative (and therefore limited) definitions or descriptions …
*** "All truths in Truth forever dwell" ... All Is One :
Once the Self or our true nature is realized, transcending mind or ego, all things are seen as God or Divine and no more separation or duality is perceived between “me” and “the others”, “inside” and “outside”, “the world” and ”God” …
***
a METERED MIRROR-RHYME in iambic tetrameter
and and abab bcbc rhyme-scheme
my column on METERED MIRROR-RHYME :
http://allpoetry.com/column/2191585
***
painting "sri ma anandamayi" by maa
***
In a list
A contest entry
- Six Quotes: Three Films, One Critic, One Poet and a Philosopher. by DJWebb.
425 points, ended March 10, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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A very deep and spiritual write. The flow was brilliant. Well done on the silver.
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Your spiritual journey of truth and peace, is one you walk so well and with such deep knowledge. You are a true philosopher, my friend.
Giving us all hope and new visions of the world and the true harmony it holds.
Wonderfully done! So deep and inspirational.
Love and peace to you!
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what a sweet comment, dear kim, thank you so much ...
much love to you,
marion
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This is a fantastically intellectual piece. You have consolidated the concepts so that they work in harmony. Only through reading your notes did I realize that they conflict.
"Not this – Not that" may lift the veil. Personally the road to self realization (as I have understood it) is a science to extrinsic to achieve in the world I live in. Those that have, I take my hat off to.
A great entry.
Favourite line:
"Like puppets within Spirit’s hand
All beings karmic laws obey"
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Wow! You really know how to pack a lot into one poem! And, it is clear you are very spiritual. I respect how devoted this poem feels to your path and your openess within that path. Lovely. I think this was my favorite stanza:
"A speck of dust, a grain of sand
No lesser are than this vain shell
Awareness wakes at faith’s command
When mind is freed from pride’s dark spell"
Thank you for sharing with the contest.
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my dearest annabelle,
I am so happy to have known you from the beginning here on ap, and you have been a more than kind and faithful reader and mentor even of my more simple and less elaborate poems ... for which I thank you from my heart ...
I thank you for your precious confirmation about the correctness of my meter here, since it was you who taught me this art ...
I very much appreciate your suggestion as well ... I will have to find another way for these two lines, since replacing "now" with "as" or "while", makes great sense in the original poem, but no sense in the reversed version
that's the tricky thing about this form ...
love you so very much, maannabelle,
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Dearest maa
First, the technical evaluation:
This piece is absolutely exquisite. It deserves 10 applauses instead of 3!!!!!
Your iambic tetrameter is spot-on! I love unforced, 'perfect' rhymes
(particularly with formal verse) and you have mastered this like a pro!!!
As far as the form, this is almost next to impossible to achieve as I have
written most major poetry forms and I understand the gnawing mechanics
of trying to produce a contrary, tortuous formula. lol But you, my beautiful
maa, have aced this, too.
Next, the part that appeals to our psyche and our emotions:
There is such a wisdom and flow that proceeds from the lips of your soul.
This is spirituality in its deepest depths, its highest winds and waves, the type
of knowledge that most do not tap into because they have no revelation
or knowledge, their pride gets in the way (as you have referenced), or they
live a shallow life--having no desire for the gems of deity or soul's expression.
Lastly, the poetic appeal: The imageries here are totally mind-blowing
with your imageries and personifications of the mind and tongue,
particularly (my favorite imageries of your piece):
"While heart-waves of compassion cease
The avid fangs of mind now clasp
Now thoughtless words emerge with ease
Through tongue’s sarcastic, ruthless rasp"
Again, this is definitely a masterpiece; I believe the finest you have
written. Ha, I know I say that a lot but your writing just keeps improving
and I keep having more favorites to cling to.
Suggestion: The only teensy suggestion I would make and it is so
minor it is almost not worth bringing up:
"The avid fangs of mind now clasp
Now thoughtless words emerge with ease"
…I would change "now thoughtless" to 'as or while' thoughtless.
I think it would flow a tiny bit better and also due to the fact that you used 'now' in the line right above it. It made me
stumble just a little. And by the way, I always have time
for you and your work. If I don’t I will make time because
you are my beloved sister (one of my favorites, but don't
tell anyone!! haha) Keep that glorious pen with those
feathery motions in high-gear (oops the South coming
out in me). I love you. Beautiful, fantastic, awesome
job!!!! Love you ♥ Annabelle
P.S. I liked the merging of maa and annabelle. How
perfectly they fit~~~~~~
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got it !
"most" will work ...
I corrected it already ...
like it much better like this ...
thank you so much for the hint ...
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Yes, that 'most' made the biggest difference! Purrfit! ♥
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When Creator had his spirits touch our lips and leave its crease of quiet about where we had come from, He also left it unsealed so we might speak the truths of that palce. This is such a poem that comes from that unsealed palce.
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such an inspiring comment
my dearest carol,
I thank you from my deepest heart for such an inspiring and wisdom-filled comment ... your words resonated with truth within my soul : I truly have this impression that Creator has left the place where we had come from unsealed, and that we have access to this place, in case that we don't decide to seal it ourselves with the superimposition of our limited minds ... even a person with an IQ of 200 might be unable to speak from that place, having built a thick wall of knowledge in front of the entrance-gate ... this is certainly what Lord Jesus meant when he taught us that we must become little little children in order to enter into the Kingdom Of GOD ...
I am always so happy and feel so blessed when you share the wisdom of your sacred tradition with me through your blessed and grace-filled words ...
thank you,
om namah shivaya
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Stunning!!!
You are simply amazing in what you write. This poem however is phenominal. Your mirror rhyme is fantastic. I shall try my hand at it when my personal energy is much higher.
I love this, Buddy
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merci
thank you so very much, my dear buddy, for your appreciative words ... I am sorry to hear about our lack of energy, is it a physical ailment your body is suffering from ?
I wish you much strength and hope you will recover to your best form very quickly ...
I visualize your whole being and every cell of your body glowing with light ...
much love,
marion
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Oh Marion! This is simply outstanding. I have tried this form and just tripped myself up all over the place.
Here you stayed true to the form AND the message.
Excellent!
Namaste!
Marianne -
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namaste
thank you very much, dear marianne, for your sweet comment ... if ever you should feel inspired to try out the form again, I will be more than happy to assist you ... even if it looks complicated, it is actually very simple ...
I wish you a wonderful day (night),
much love,
marion
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< shalom
shalom, my dear one,
I thank you from my heart for your loving words of appreciation and friendship ... and I have to return the compliment of being a mentor to you, since yesterday it was you who have infused me with your strength, courage and willpower, reactivating my joy of expression ... without hoping for praise and without fearing blame ...
the act of recognizing and appreciating those qualities in you, has reawakened them in me ...
thank you ...
and by the way, you are doing perfectly well in this form, my rosy-cheeked lady ...
ani hohevet hotach,
(I love you ... in hebrew)
marion -
it is a good form this, i haven't done much mirrored verse, just the one i did in your form and another i have in file, i forget the name of the form, i will guess it will be mirror something though lol a good piece. good luck in the contest.
poetry; spill ink and laugh,
laugh and ink spill poetry.
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thank you, knight of ink-spill-poetry
thank you so much for your kind visit, dear laughing-ink-spilling-poet-knight ... I am still a student of my own form, especially the iambic meter ...
thanks for the good wishes,
marion
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it is the same truth that individual soul (jeevatma)is a part of the universal soul(paramatma)or psychic being (individual)is a part of the cosmic being(universal)that is revealed in the philosophy.at such a point which is revealed to the sages we will not feel differences between people.we can see humanity as a whole.thank you for revealing these truth ..narrow mindedness is the reason for the conflict in the present world .if people can understand this philosophy there will not be any war or other conflicts in this world
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thank you, nilav
thank you, dear nilav, for your thoughtful and soulful comment on this poem ... I feel so very blessed for having had the grace to discover those sacred teachings which have shed much light upon my spirit ever since ... now, they have to be integrated and I hope that one day the revealed Truth will imbibe my whole being and transform my thoughts, speech and actions completely ... om namah shivaya
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