I wanted to know you so deeply
that I could taste the tablets of your DNA:
Does that sound crude?
Not if you know how the earth feeds me
sun and moon and air and sky
even dust that Adam and Eve were fashioned of.
I wanted to know you so dearly
that even the breath it takes to say your name
wears its own passionate perfume:
Does that sound rude?
Not if you knew your particular pheromone
leaked out from beginning of time
from one man to another, father, son,
until it took up residence in you
to send out “Love Me” through your skin.
Does that sound course?
I traced my finger on every curve
of your beautiful body; your face,
rippled throat, bare chest, your thighs, your feet
to memorize the front and back of you,
with touch and press when you were asleep
and I knew you were going.
Does that sound foolish?
Not if you know how the ground
keeps the press of footprint
to be discovered eons later
and they knew where they went
when they stepped away.
I have the sound of you
attached to me: memory inhales
and exhales from every aching muscle
of my belief that I may lose sight of you
but not the taste, smell, touch that is triggered
by memorization of your goodbye...
the sound of it leaving.
Author notes
35 lines
Yes, the background breathes, I have titled "Skin".
In a list
A contest entry
- Picture inspiration freeverse contest by voices.
850 points, ended February 1, 2007, 24 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Congratulations, wonderfully done
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Thank you.
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Awesome
congrats.
this piece is seriously intense.
and, it pretty much sums up how i feel.
great work.
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What a nice complememnt, that you can relate to it, perhaps not the reason yu relate, but tht it reaches and touches.
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perfect
this is so full. so complete.
the images, the feelings,colors, sounds and flavors this brings.
this is so deeply sensual. it just pulls emotion out of the reader. it finds things thought to be lost.
i am not crazt about the DNA: thing, but the rest of the piece is so strong and moving that i just let that one small thing go.
and the 30 line deal, well, as you may know, exceptions are made for greatness.
thank you for sharing such a terrific poem.
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Thank you for your comments, I appreciate knowing how it does or does not touch readers.
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excellent
I am very impressed. This poem inspired alot of emotion. Thank-you for such a breath of flesh air.
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Thank you soul.
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What a fabulous presentation for this poem! The poem is primordial and beautiful, going to that place where love creates of its own nature and aweome force. It does claim its own. ~ Karen
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Yes, I was trying to show how love goes back to original creation....I appreciate your comments.
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Excellent
I'm glad you mentioned the page was breathing, I was a bit concerned I was getting vertigo again..lol.
This piece breathes beautifully on it's own. I love the questions in-between the stanza. It adds a more personal touch to this piece. This is a sensuous, stunning, and raises the bar for everyone else entering this contest.
Well done, my friend.
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Yes, it seems I know things, but it also seems I always question what I know and how it affects other's view of me.
I hit on a real wonder when I foudn this background. It can not be used for many poems but it surely fit this poem for me.
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Beauty as only you can capture it and say it. This is truly deep and amasing. Touching of strength not often found in this kind of a write. The background fits perfectly, a wonderful pleasure this morning.
Thank you for sharing!
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Tks for your kind comments. I work hard at trying to make my voice personal and yet One Voice. I want my writing to reflect how deeply the world affects me. Tks again.
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This is breathtakingly amazing.
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Thank you for the visit Zayra. I have many favorite poems that I have written, and while this is not at the top of my lsit, it does touch more deeper levels of who I am.
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