Because you can't hide
Not even from yourself
When all you have
And ever have had
Is lies
And when all you want
Is the truth
A half smile and
'You wouldn't understand'
Is all you'll ever get
Author notes
Comments would be loved
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Good Write.
This is a good poem. I know what you are describing. I think it deserves a real title. The forth line seemed a little off though. Maybe, "And all you'll ever have" or "And all you've ever had" instead? The "have had" throws it off. -
I like the title, but it doesn't seem to fit the poem... it seems like it should go with a humerous poem--something this is not. I like the last stanza--without the "And" after "A half smile"--it makes it kind of choppy and hard to read. The first stanza seems to be lacking the punch the second has.
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Nice Title
The first stanza is great. It is simple and dishes out an aspect of humanity that sucks. "How can I sustain myself on lies, damn it?" The last stanza pulls the poem to a close well. However, In the last line you want "are all you'll ever get" rather than "Is all you'll ever get." (Because a half smile and a "you wouldn't understand" are two things.)
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wonderful
wonderfully moving piece. brilliantly written.
keep up the good work.
3 applause.
but i can give them cos i'm running out of points lol. -
Thumbs up.
I like the simplicity of the poem. I reccomend not having it on this background because it's tricky to read. I really like the poem overall though and it the length of it makes the reader feel that same feeling of not quite having enough information that the poem is referencing. -
you misspelled "titles" and "incredibly" and misused the word "anymore." other than that, i liked your poem. it expresses an extremely annyoing sitution clearly and directly.
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