Hammock hangs between two apple trees
We imagine a ‘toy universe’ with just ten possible locations for particles
We slumber like newborn babies
What sorts of laws shape the universe with all its contents?
Your arms are my galaxy
Gravitation is somewhat confusing in relation to entropy
Nothing is static
At this point, we should address the question of what is to be meant by the terms
‘same’ and ‘different’
Your love is the afternoon sun, warming me
Your love is fresh spring water, quenching my thirst
It is unclear whether such things have a significant role to play in physics, although the idea has been revived from time to time
Your words are powder blue jazz
Exist in the moment,
breathe the sweet stickiness of summer
The significance of this is that we do not need to know the distribution of probabilities for the alternative states
Time stands still
Unhappily, this expectation is premature, we shall need a broader perspective to arrive at a comprehensive quantum picture of the world.
The paradox proceeds as follows:
We’ll lay here until forever
Then go inside to make dinner
Author notes
A cut-up poem borrowing some lines from a text on quantum physics text.
In a list
A contest entry
- Fading Art Work Redeem(600 points) need really good writers by inkedsnow.
600 points, ended February 23, 2007, 23 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Contest! (Show me your stuff) by BloodCrusted.
600 points, ended April 18, 2007, 97 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Your Favorite Prewrite" by Virgoan.
500 points, ended September 3, 2007, 103 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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Which QM text were you reading? This sounds more like Statistical Mechanics. Interesting kludge of ideas, regardless.
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Well it's a cut-up so it is out of context but the book is called "Road to Reality"
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The words are brilliant and the interesting logic is really intriguing. Well done
Thanks so much for participating in my contest. I wish you all the best. I encourage you to keep on writing my friend.
>>>VIRGOAN -
powder blue jazz...
Well you lost me on the quantum physics stuff but... I think the work is very cleverly constructed.
Well done!
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That's sort of how it's meant to make you feel arafura! It's just meant to be a conversation between science and love or the romantic vs. the scientific I guess.
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yeah, does it explain how you feel bout l.o.v.e? but its interesting if it goes along those lines, i mean the way i understan in aite.
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clicked this because of the title (subject), and i supposed that the piece would dwell on some natural explanation of love...or a comparison of what a person in love feels, sorta like atomic fission which builds up, uncontrolled until one explodes... hmmm
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An interesting poem for sure especially on quantum physics. Very original the way you use actual sentences on physics as a collage to your own writing I base my relationship exclusively on God! He decides the whole thing. The feeling you have from being in love with your mate makes a difference in the world and improve the sense of purpose in its real sources of meaning. Fulfillment and adjustment comes in wanting few things. The general direction comes from God who shows us the way and the specifics of the journey are up to us Happy in love and regards.
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I wasn't sure what to expect with a title like that, and was worried I'd need a dictionary to understand it. lol. Yay! I didn't! That makes me feel smart
But seriously, the immediate image you give at the beginning opens this for the involvement of the reader. We aren't just reading it, we're experiencing it. I think the lines read too long, and the flow is bogged down because of that, but it's personal preference really, and doesn't say anything about the impact the piece still manages to have on a reader. The first and final stanzas are what did it for me though
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Thanks! It's exciting that people are still reading this
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Very interesting. A poem like no other. This is very well written, and this is a poem that I wish I could call my own.
Very nicely done!
Good luck in the contest!
-System of Cyanide
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"your arms are my galaxy poetic stuff"
A nicely written work of art
this poem is really clearly state -
Wow so creative, it makes me think of wqhat goes through my mind when i'm with my hubby. it really makes oyu think.
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"The paradox proceeds as follows:
We’ll lay here until forever
Then go inside to make dinner"
This is the tortilla wrap for my favorite chicken wrap, right here in your close. I get a bit lost in the three verses before, though. It borders on being strangely personal beyond this audience [myself] while using more general language. Does this make any sense? I enjoyed it nonetheless.
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Well...
Of course it makes sense. The poem is almost a conversation between logic and love. The whimsical voice of romance is challenged by science and reality. The irony is that the physics part is what is real and tangible but confuses us and the romance part which is a lot more abstract is the part we can relate to. It's an interesting observation about the human mind isn't it?
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Thank you for taking the time to enter this contest. Best of luck to you
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Wow
The Last Lines Really Spoke To Me. I Loev The Structure, And What This Poem's Really Saying. I'll Be Reading More Of Your Work. Great Job! -
Time stands still...that is the magic of love and love only...to find universe in the palm...this is such a nice poem that i enjoyed it thoroughly..
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Thanks
I didn't realize people were commenting on this so much. I strongly appreciate the feedback as I will be doing a public reading of it shortly and am thrilled to hear it is accessible! Thank you all. -
wow. definitely creative ... it reminds me of all the random analytical thoughts that go through my head when I'm cuddling with my love ^__^
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Fresh and clever. Inspiring. Favorite line-your arms are my galaxy
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Great tongue-in-cheek humor
I loved the last stanza, particularly! I am a recent introductee to quantum physics (through the film "What the Bleep Do We Know", which people misunderstand...it's not a "movie,"--t's a lecture introducing an idea couched in a "story" in order that we might more easily comprehend and conceptualize the theory being set forth), and I am positively DELIGHTED with your melding--though it's more like "we'll lay here forever AND go inside and make dinner." LoL!!!
~Ladyfyre
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good poem
i think this is very good, it's beautifully written and very thought provoking, well done and good luck in the contest, you've done a good job,
kind regards,
floorboards.
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And so by what physics would create the multi dimension of time better than the universal art of love and relaxation? where none can be measured or placed without an intangibility in a constantly moving whirl wind the only eye of the storm becomes this world that you have created with charm, especially at the end 'the paradox proceeds as follows we'll lay here for ever, then go and make some dinner' bravo!
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Wow. I totally agree with the person below me. =]
("What sorts of laws shape the universe with all its contents?
Your arms are my galaxy
Gravitation is somewhat confusing in relation to entropy
Nothing is static" is my favorite part. I love the word entropy...haha)
Great work!
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That's beautiful, and geeky, and awesome. I loves it. I swear, I commented to tell you how awesome your poem is, but I also have to mention that while I was reading it, I was in a small way reminded of one of my own poems, Fractal Love. Keep up the awesome work!
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Genius
Even though a few lines were complicated to comprehend I really liked it. Even though I don't know anything about Physics I could follow along with our words.
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I thought this was quite amazing. I mean, there's not much else I can say. While I'm not an avid student of physics, i could follow along for the most part. I guess i can't really find the right word. I guess the only way to say it is: You've got Moxie.
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challenging.
Many words that would challenge one with a small mind. But I understood it and I thought it was an excellent write. It's very well done and so different from what most people write like. You have a knack for originality. Awesome work.
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Brilliant!
A clever, startling and original poem. I love the way you yoke seemingly incongruous ideas together.
Bill
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Yer, I like the way this poem is split up in to ridiculously complicated Physics theory and beautiful love. It isn't half a contrast! Contrasts are effective, this one especially so. 'breathing in the sweet stickiness of Summer.' That was my favourite lin
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Interesting concept, quantum physics and love. I nodded at certain parts, but raised a brow at others. After some thinking though, those were nodded at too. This was creative and captivating, cool in its condensed feel. Great flow, awesome rythm...heck, great write!
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interesting idea. i like the last few lines.
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this is gooood i luuuuv it, so beutiful and creative well done, i am very very very inspired.
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Wow. Now this is what I call original. It sort of reminds me of dadaism, but this does have a lot more meaning as well so I think it is better. I like it when a poem has both originality and meaning.
~Diana
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catchy/clever title. i really was into this piece. i truly admired the huge orginiality in this and just how it so creatively conveyed love. your description was so vivid, unique, and simply genius. i loved the lines:
"Gravitation is somewhat confusing in relation to entropy
Nothing is static" and also
"Your words are powder blue jazz".
job very well done. rock on.
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