The problem with life is, they introduced us to fairy tales.
I still believe in happy endings.
Is that what's killing me?
I can see the news report now:
A hopeless romantic dies today of............
Hopelessness?
And join us at eleven for an in depth look at how to be hopeless without losing hope.
With our special guest Dr. Phil.
Hurry and laugh at yourself before someone else does.
More pitiful then some, less pitiful then others.
There has to be balance I suppose.
Why do we have to be pitiful at all?
Pitiful or full of pity?
Don't pity me.
And the spiral goes downwards.
Falling
Falling
Towards the ground.
The ever dreaded D's
Despair, desperation,
deprevity, doubt,
darkness, death,
damnation.
Dreams?
The ever elusive H's.
Healing, hope, happiness.
Hilarity, hysteria, hallucinations?
I once read a book/saw a movie that ended badly.
Who needs reality in their entertainment?
And while we are at it, let's ban the news, I'd rather be deluded.
"The ants marched on", "Old MacDonald E, I, O'ed" and I grew up.
Stuck in a rut way above my head,
and I've no imagination left to figure my way out.
Why did I grow up at all?
Musical lyrics hold all the answers to life.
Kansas said it best, and I agree:
"All we are IS dust in the wind,
and all your money won't another minute buy."
Sometimes I sit and listen to that song for far to long.
But it keeps me centered, focused, and grounded.
All my life has already been lived out in someone else's story book.
But I pretend that on occasion I have an original thought.
Do I keep it to myself, or cast it out into the world?
I don't want it to be proven unoriginal.
Boredom threatens to plague me.
Mundane, ordinary, stagnant, uninteresting, lackluster, mediocre, plain.
As I write these words down, they are being erased from my vocabulary.
The joke of the day.
I have complete control of my destiny.
Nothing is predetermined.
There is no such thing as fate.
I will change my ways.
I will become what I know I have the potential to be.
We are all preprogramed.
Barfing out other people's ideals.
Vomiting our way through life.
Up chucking other people's agendas on the masses.
Original thought is a mass delusion.
Foot soldiers marching out their propaganda.
Don't try to sell me the idea that there is such a thing as the "perfect life".
Job had the "perfect life" and it was ripped away from him.
Of coarse he got it back multiplied by 7.... or 10 times. I don't remember,
but now the rest of us have to live with the knowledge that
this could happen to us.
Is this a test?
There's going to be a quiz isn't there?
Are you sleeping Sister Mary?
Wake up it's time for my daily beating.
Amongst the rambling of thoughts, Epiphany strikes!
Learn to pray for what God wants, and your prayers will always be answered.
Stare at yourself in the mirror for long enough and you won't recognize the reflection.
Have I turned into something I can learn to like yet?
If you walk backwards, you can see where you've been,
but it will take you twice as long to get where your going.
So look to the future don't dwell in the past.
Act now and we'll throw in a life time supply of (insert what you need here)
Life will never be handed to me,
and I haven't learned how to reach out and grab it.........
yet.
Maybe it's just me but, what do you do with life once you've caught it?
Throw it back and catch it again?
When everything I ever wanted is handed to me.............
Will I truely be happy?
I still believe in happy endings.
Is that what's killing me, or
is that what's keeping me alive?
Author notes
Option six
A contest entry
- Enough. by skitza.
525 points, ended February 20, 2007, 28 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anticipated Serendipity by FlurryOfDancingFire.
500 points, ended February 20, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The "point" is? by Nicole Hanna.
2100 points, ended February 23, 2007, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 8 options of madness by McFairy.
2000 points, ended June 2, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Contest! (Show me your stuff) by BloodCrusted.
600 points, ended April 18, 2007, 97 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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thank you for entering. whisper
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Now this is a poem worth reading!
This is amazingly written. Much beyond my mind..
I love how it's written.
Even though it's lengthy, I was begging for more! It was well crafted, and even though Nicole Hanna says that it was broken weirdly and whatnot, I loved it.
It's a poem that shows our confusion in life, and is raw emotion. It really doesn't matter that it is like that. My personal opinion is that it adds to the effect.
It was sooo.. uplifting. A poem that I wish that I could create..
Thank you SO much for sharing this amazing write with me.
Good luck in the contest!
-System of Cyanide
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I love this and you definitely caught me on the first line, because more than once I have said that a huge part of depression is caused by movies, because life doesn't always end with a fantastic moment and the credits going up.
I love the hopelessness line, I see it as very witty in a simple way, ironic and funny.
There is so many more things I could comment on in this poem but I dont want to sit here for another hour on one poem.
Thanks for entering!!!
***Strangeangel***
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Hmmm... now this is a piece (when speaking of the form- not the contest) that feels as if you didn't put much thought into the line-breaks and just ended a line when the sentence or thought would naturally pause or end. In other words, there is no flow established by creative line breaks. Every line ends with a natural grammatical pause, or some sort of punctuation. Enjambment would be nice to see here.
The poem reads a little emo and angsty and lacks some necessary imagery and descriptive phrases. You have "telling" phrases, but nothing that shows us what you mean. For instance, "a hopeless romantic dies today of.... hopelessness" ... I realize the repetition of hopeless is supposed to evoke a feeling of irony, but it's not an incredibly strong phrase with which to accomplish this. You could say something like "a romantic dies today" is simple, but a keen image. You state something sincerely without getting overly dramatic.
Some of your stanzas are a little preachy, such as "we are all preprogramed, barfing out other people's ideals, vomiting our way through life". This might work as a slam poem, a performance piece, but when just reading it to myself, it seems over-the-top and shoking without the integrity of content to support it.
I loved the "Are you sleeping Sister Mary" line. Now that was great. It almost made me feel like I just finished listening to Pink Floyd's The Wall or something. lol.
I don't think ending with the questions is a particularly strong approach. The poem is rather lengthy (that's not a bad thing), so by the time we get to the end, we want an end, and not more "supposing" or guessing as to what epiphany you (or the poem's main character) might have reached. It was an intriguing poem, but could be trimmed down for a greater effect -
Nice! xD
Oo0o, I really liked this one. I loved your word choice and the fact that at some points in my life, I can completely 100% fully understand what this is saying. My favorite lines were
"If you walk backwards, you can see where you've been,
but it will take you twice as long to get where your going."
"Maybe it's just me but, what do you do with life once you've caught it?
Throw it back and catch it again?"
I also thought the last stanza was very powerful. I commend you for a job exceptionally well done, congrats
~Oreo
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I don't know what to say, this was amazing. I swear some of it seemed like you reached right into my head and pulled my thoughts out a put them down here (only much better than I probably would have expressed, lol)! This was really just fucking awesome! I love it!
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damn, that was too good. Im completely jealous. Crap. I wish I had written it! I feel that way alot.
"All my life has already been lived out in someone else's story book.
But I pretend that on occasion I have an original thought.
Do I keep it to myself, or cast it out into the world?
I don't want it to be proven unoriginal."
The fact of the matter is, there is no original ideas left, they're all used up. You discover that when you study graphic design, marketing, ect. You also discover that Marketing is the dark art, created by the devil, or someone equally as sinister... but I digress. You totally presented this idea in a creative format. I love it. Like I said, I feel this way, alot.
WL
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Fuck. You see - this is the reason I started this contest!
Are you me?
This was amazing to read.. it was like reading something I should have written. I'm sure everyone can relate to this in some way or another.
Did it help - to write this?
Perfect beginning and ending!
'The problem with life is, they introduced us to fairy tales.'
'I still believe in happy endings.
Is that what's killing me, or
is that what's keeping me alive?'
I would take away the 'hmmmm' but that's your call.
'Stare at yourself in the mirror for long enough and you won't recognize the reflection.
Have I turned into something I can learn to like yet?'
I love the way you ended with dreams and hallucinations with question marks.
'Hurry and laugh at yourself before someone else does.'
This was so fast-paces I was having trouble keeping up with my eyes..!
'let's ban the news, I'd rather be deluded.' So would I!
It's wonderful you put effort into grammar and spelling for this poem also... otherwise it would have been VERY difficult to read.
Amazing. Thanks for entering.
skitza
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Wow
Speechless... It was that GOOD.
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