That great insidious manipulator
Again has crept into my mind
Unleashing all it's terror
And dreams of hellish times
It robs you of all honor
Cripples all your hopes
It preys upon your weaknesses
Destroys your will to cope
It makes you question everything
You've ever known as true
Then rips right at your soul
With hopes to murder you
This mind within my mind is deep
For nothing does it fear
Not prayer, nor love, nor God
Will dare to venture there
This mind within my mind
Just waits for my demise
For after all is said and done
Isn't that it's ultimate prize
By Robert W. Fox
A contest entry
- Depression by siddy jones.
315 points, ended April 24, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Stopping The Ignorance Against Depression. by Poetryintheblood.
525 points, ended May 21, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkest Corners Of The Mind by Jeb.
900 points, ended April 5, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Want To Feel Your Pain by Diminished Capacity.
500 points, ended May 27, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me feel. by Antebellum.
500 points, ended July 8, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Depression ( Make It Worth My While ) by EMOverlord.
1600 points, ended August 20, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 69 of 69
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A dark, but truthful foray into shadowy areas not often visited by choice, very courageous of you to confront less appealing sides of yourself, hope it is cathartic.
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oh wow this is amazing! sometimes i feel alot like this, and think about things like this, it was fanastic!
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Very, very good write. The flow, the rhyimg, and the depression. I love it all. Thank you for sharing this.
-- EMOverlord -
Bob!! When I read this I just want to hug you and tell you 'it will be ok' but I know you will always have an answer for me
I know exactly how you feel when you get this low, lol, been there, again and again and you get to the stage when you say that's enough just let it all be over, please! Then someone who needs you comes along, maybe a son or daughter and you know you have to put them first and struggle on, but 'this mind within your mind' never really goes away. My thoughts go out to you
Cherry
xxxx
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this is really good. u choose great words to put in here. i can lik under stand wat u r trying ta say in this nd i lik it... good job.
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I once read a book called 'Way of the Peaceful Warrior' by Dan Millman. It is the most amazing book. He mentions this thing called the 'mind'. I think you would find it very enlightening.
Here is the synopsis:
This story is a mixture of fact and fiction, leaving you wondering which part it Dan's autobiography and which part is fiction. It takes you on a Journey to connect with your own inner dreams and aspirations.
Dan, the main character, is a college student at Berkeley, University of California, and world-champion athlete. He knows that despite his success there is something missing in his life. Waking up one night by nightmares, he wonders down to the gas station, where he meets an old eccentric man. They become friends, teacher and student in a 'course for life'. Socrates, as Dan calls the old man and warrior, teaches him about life, spirit, belief, mystery, success and love in a way that draws you into Dan's character.
This classic tale, told with heart and humor, speaks to the peaceful warrior in each of us, moving readers to laughter and tears -- even to moments of illumination -- as they rediscover life's larger meaning and purpose. The book was written 25 years ago and the film of the book was released this year. Check your local cinema to find out when the film will play in your area.
The new edition of this inspiring book contains hundreds of revisions by the author. It also tells the story behind the book - how it was born, "died," then rose from its ashes to become a word-of-mouth bestseller that continues to inspire millions of men and women of all ages in 22 languages worldwide.'
Mariana
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WOW
Stark, and very powerful..excellent imagery, rhyme and flow..and yeah..you really went 'there' on this one..DARK..
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WOW dad* thats great. i loved how you said "This mind within my mind is deep/For nothing does it fear/Not prayer, nor love, nor God/Will dare to venture there"
is so perfect and not at all timid
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Fantastic feeling in this write. I am relating to this very often I must admit. Very well done, and thank you so much for entering my contest.
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Holy man, that was enjoyable to read.
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Great!
I really like this poem! You did an excellent job writing this! You took me on an incredible journey with this write, making me feel as if you were writing about the inner workings of my own mind. Great job, and good luck in my contest! Thanks for entering!
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Excellent write on this one, Bob. You have deep insights into the mind and the mind within. As I read this I could only nod in agreement at some of the lines you have written here. They feel familiar and yet I don't want them to. Ya know? Thanks for sharing this here with us. All the best to you.
Lily ♥
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Nice job on this one Bob. I think you have some deep insights into depression. I think you have expressed yourself very well.
Mike
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there is a quote i read once about how the one true enemy always seems to hide in the last place you look, makes you think if all this time we have been fighting each other in truth we have been fighting ourselves. keep it flowing and thanks for suggesting this poem
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Oh my! This should have gotten a Gold for sure. I'm bookmarking this for future perusal, when I need to remind myself that perspective is paramount to mental health. Thank you!
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Whoa! This is telling it how it is to feel those inner demons for sure. And well put poetically. A great insight into the depths of a riddled mind wanting to escape. Thank you Bob...alby
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Oh Bob... I didnt read this one, this is first I have and have to say, I can fully relate to it especially "It makes you question everything
You've ever known as true
Then rips right at your soul", very emotional indeed yet so very true... thank you my friend, love,
Selfexpressive xxx
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For me this a 'been there, done that, worn out the tee-shirt' thing I know I will suffer until the 'ultimate prize' is mine. But I hope that for you, as He has done for, God does not fear to go there to bring you back whenever you ask.
Joe
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I have reread this one a few times now!
It gets to me every time, you are completely right!
The mind is a dangerous thing alone and these dark thoughts control your every move and every thought!
Depression is a truly evil dictator of our mind and body!
Thank you for writing this, it displays the truth of things! -
BRILLIANT
I can see why you wanted me to read it. i think, out of all the poems i have read, it is the ont that speaks my mnd the most! ( And i have read loads of poems!) It is beautiful. Don't let anyone take your talent away from you.
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INCREDIBLE!
I understand this...thank you!
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Can we say absolutely incredible!!
I can totally relate!!
I love this one x10!!!!!
Keep it up!!!
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WOW!!! This has got to be one of my very favorites. The rhyme scheme is amazing and just WOW. I'm very happy you shared this with the group. Spectacular. And I relate. Take care.
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wonderful write i like what it expresses.. the dark side of a person.. creeping
keep writing
-Kas K Bubbles
Peace In Chaos out
balance of both
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I think I know how you feel. Like something you don't truly understand is controlling your actions, right? If so, I understand completely. Very nice write.
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Fantastic
Wow-absolutely Fantastic! You've touched upon all here and I can see why it IS a winner....superbly done!
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I can relate.
When you commented on my poem "Voices" and directed me to this poem of yours... I can see the relation. You really pulled off that insecurity that lies even within our own minds.
Great poem. I believe it goes for a BIG applause.
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Thank you for your much heartfelt and insightful entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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i like the idea. "not prayer, nor love, nor God will dare to venture there" was my favorite part. great job and good luck in my contest
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well you were in a good mood one of us needs to get up
it is getting near Christmas... I was hoping you might pull me up not going to happen... so I will work on pulling you up.. This scares me for you and nothing scares me.......!@#$%^&*()_+ Bob I was counting on you
=) -
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Hey
Those who go through these things must talk about it. I am ok and so are you my friend. Have yourself a Merry little Christmas now
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Good grief this is scary! Great write though. You sure know how to describe that little physcopath that drives us out of out minds. Keep up the great work.
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Thanks
This is just incredible. I know exactly what you mean. "Isn't that it's ultimate prize" is the line that just hit me the most. I love this poem, the depression is felt by just reading this.
"It robs you of all honor
Cripples all your hopes" is amazingly true. When you are upset and depressed it just seems as if nothing will ever be right again and all your hopes just seem to disappear.
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So true
But we must go on & remember you are not alone young poet. write it does help
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wow dude i feel like this most days, just like the world is out 2 mess u over. Depression sucks but it creeps up on u like a hunter after its prey. Once u got it, it's hard 2 get rid of, but just believe in yourself and u will get through it. great write
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this ia a great write. I can relate to this poem very well. though there are those days which are worse than the others. thank you for telling me about this poem. I liked the last two stanzas a lot:
This mind within my mind is deep
For nothing does it fear
Not prayer, nor love, nor God
Will dare to venture there
This mind within my mind
Just waits for my demise
For after all is said and done
Isn't that it's ultimate prize
depression is a terrible place for me to be. I have been diagnosed with it, and been struggling with it for years (since I was 15) I was given meds to help with it, though I have found that when taking it, I have the inability to write. I have a block, sometimes it lasts for months. but the doctors said that I have improved and am on the road to recovery.
writing has helped with that. great form of therapy
Kat
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So so true. A good write. I like the idea of the emotion being some alien mind within your own, like some predator. A good personification and effective piece. Well done, rach x
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Well
Hang in there my young friend. Peace to you
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i don't understand this write sorry
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If not
Then you happen to be a lucky guy & should count your blessings. There is nothing to be sorry about for half the stuff written on here I do not understand either
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you have achieved much in this write my friend. I am much depressed as I read, yet am shortly vigor in the sense I know that mind. I know that life that lives in the shadows of an attic rustic in a lonely dolor. where to the flower pedals are but dust, and the stem a rotten core. you have a way with words that is at the utmost of fluidity and insurgence to what is "acceptable" and I really do like that. Art is not what one sees fit to describe, art is life, and if the eye sees it, the mind, heart, soul may draw it. I loved it.
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I don't think I've ever seen
depression described this way.
You words really pack an emotional punch!
and wow can I relate.
Sadly beautiful
~Pastel
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It is amazing
So sad how this depression can just engulf even the most talented of people. I wish you well as always
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surely a read worth reading.
Each stanza spoke to me, loud and clear.
Many can relate to this one for sure. Some may understand it more then they should. I for one can relate and feel that i am at a point beyond here. I am struggling, yet i know i will make it this was well [penned poet great job as i knew it would be.
Tory
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Friend
Hang in there ok?
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Very intense and so sad to think people have to live with this. I wish I could take your pian away.
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Bob, I have to say you are right. I think we must share the same thoughts, demons, depression, call it whatever you like, but our descriptions are very similar.
I'm glad I read it, thank you...Sue
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Yes
Sadly I agree. Thanks for the read & good luck
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life is a battle between dreams and icy logic. also i like the discription of clashing voices in the head. this one definatly makes you think, very well written.
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Excellent
How right you are.I think, if we are all honest we each have a mind just like this.It takes over transmission and tries to defeat all that we believe in.It's best known name is doubt, followed closely by fear.I suppose it's called being human.Let us hope, from doubt and fear, truth emerges.An excelent poem, Ros
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WOW! this is deep...Just waits for my demise For after all is said and done Isn't that it's ultimate prize...Depression...to it;s core! Great write
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Your words ring true. When the depression hits you have no control. It is crippling to the mind and the body. I remember just thinking how I wanted to feel something, anything. I loved the flow of this write. Very well done.
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this is a nother really good poem! you are a really good poet! keep writing!
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was so moved by your words:This mind within my mind is deep For nothing does it fear Not prayer, nor love,Nor God Will dare to venture there...Depression classified as the mind within the mind Powerful piece my friend! thank you so much for sharing
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ty dear
I did not realize it. But this is my most read poem
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Oh I am amazed by this piece. By daughter is ADHD and Bipolar. I thought of her as I read this piece.
My family has a history of mental disease. It hits about every other child and grandchild in our family. My brother and half brother are heavily medicated other wise if not it's not a good thing for them or the others they are around.
My daughter is getting better as she gets older her symptoms are not quite as bad. But is she misses a dose of meds it can get very ugly. I will have to share this poem with several of my family members Btw. I think the group who asked you to be published should be honored to have such a moving piece that others who share these emotions could relate to. Bravo my dear friend.
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that great insidious manipulator... gracious the profundity of it o.o i'm just sitting here reading it over again thinking 'man, you have such a way with words that i could never have' (i don't usually talk to people much and therefore have difficulty describing feelings in my own words. i can give opinions though!) the mind within a mind thing is cool. i've definately had my share of feeling like there's two of me in my head at the same time (sometimes three o.o lol)
Not prayer, nor love,nor God-love,*space*nor God
Just waits for my demiss-demise
i love the last stanza the best. i have always been good at finding the bright side in a situation (though sometimes it takes me a while) so it shall not recieve the reward of my demise. i have a rod of steel in my back and a hard head. i will not give in!!! pardon my long-winded ramblings. in the time that has elapsed since friday morning, i have only gotten 6 hours of sleep. total. and before i go and yak your ear off again i shall move on. excellent poetry, my friend
~m~
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wow
you were soooo right i feel that way so much. You write excellent. thank you so much for sharing.
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Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is very well described throughout!Such expression that could probably only be expressed from first hand experience. This has certainly refreshed my understanding of illnesses of the mind! I am set to read some of your others too - the chameleon one sounds interesting also!
Thanks for sharing this with me!
Tough Cookie (Sarah)
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you're good with rhyme... something i am not
depression does seem to be a living, breathing thing out to suck lives away. you've described it perfectly. to be able to show it so accurately usually means it's something you've lived with before...
sometimes writing about it helps, other times it makes it worse for me.
very good
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such a dark place
Hi Bob, please no insult intended, you also are a gifted writer, and i suspect probably came from a troubled background as well as it seems, alot of fine poets have. As this is where our greatest art seems to stem from, our lifetime experiences of pain. The question is... Are we finally able to heal as mature adults and move through the pain?
How's the great NYC? I love manhattan particularly, Have been there twice. Once as a tourist and once as guest on montel williams show(long story,please don't hate me). let's stay in touch ok? Fondly, Chrissy
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Awesome!
I loved this piece. Thank you so much for your comment on my piece, it's one of my favorites that i've written.
i'll be sure to read more of your pieces. this one fascinates me, and makes me want to read more ^_^
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AMAZING!!!!!
you found a very relatable way to describe depression, or this can also relate to anxiety and worry. How our own minds can be just what destroys us.
This is so well written and the rhyme is impeccable!
I am glad I asked which poem was your favorite, as it is one of mine now also!
Michelle
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I have to be honest with you, I have never been a fan of rhyming poems, generally speaking they are stiff and sticky. However, I must say I am impressed, you pulled it off exceptionally well. And it was rather dark, my congratulations to you. (That doesn't mean I'm admitting it's darker than my work
)
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EMOTIONAL
Oh yeah..I do definately understand this piece. Especially where it says "robs you of all honour, cripples all your hopes..man..I am there now! (though i will get through it..again!) Makes you question everything, you've ever known as true! It definately bought tears to my eyes..just what I needed..
Thank you for sharing..Kym
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very good work ,rather dark and sad,it is hard when yo ufeel as though all hope has gone and that our minds cannot cope with all that is happening,then we feel as though the mind has been *taken over* and we have lost control depression is a terrible ilness for anyone to go through,exelent work though
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Very Good!
A poem of uncertainty,fear,,perhaps relating to war..It is a life of uncertainty..Who but they know the mixed emotions they have in their minds..How we honor them..Our heroes.(I think 3rdline to the bottom you may mean for ny demise) Well written,,,Very bluntly realistic.
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Yes Demise
& it is about the pain & suffering of Depression
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