Oh, they flicker.
I could be a hopeless
romantic playing them
serenades beneath your
neighbours that spoil
the mood; spilling my
stuffings on them flowers
for your heart and stare
wryly into your eyes
when them onlookers pray
for neon fireworks that
might change their grey
worlds, drop my books
and leave a note to
say your Valentine's
an hourglass:
Marry me?
Author notes
[Option 6 for jmarcotte2005's contest]
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Night
In other currently running contests: no.
Creativity: 10/10
Concept: 9/10
Language: 10/10
Overall Effect: 9/10
Final Grading: 38/40
Notes: very nice.
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great poem! good luck in my contest!
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Great write! Good luck!
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Great write. Very romantic and full of feeling. Well done. Good Luck!
Shady Lane -
This poem is really good a classic write i must say if this was general contest you would probable be way up their yet it was more SHOWING not TELLING
True love you are as lovelier as the bud of may such like that
Let it speak not tell let it speak in first peron
yet your details and use of metaphors were strong unique new freash alive it suprised me -
Yes!
I'm just joking. lol This is short but very romantic! I love it.
"I could be a hopeless
romantic playing them
serenades beneath your
neighbours that spoil
the mood.."
That has to be my favorite part...
the way you arrange these words is breathtaking. Thank you for entering my contest. Good luck =)
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