The shower, the place I go to get dirty…
Warm water caresses my body
As fantasies wrap the mind
And I wonder what wraps yours.
Do you relish the idea of a mystery man?
A wild night to let loose,
Where you won’t worry of being judged
And no names simply stay that way.
Do you want to dominate?
And inform me what to do?
Demanding a spank or making me beg,
Does that beg to you too?
Do you want to perform with me,
In front of an audience?
To know others are excited,
Does it leave you feeling ecstatic?
Do you want to share one of your own?
and touch a soft luscious body,
tenderly sucking on her tongue
Does it make you feel erotic?
Do you want to strap up,
And be a man?
Would you being the aggressor
Give you empowerment in your hand?
Do you want to play innocent,
And be taken advantage of?
Do pinned arms and forceful penetration
Leave you pleading for more?
Cold water cleans my mind
And I must wait another day,
To feel the warming touch of,
Dreaming about your fantasies.
They always seem to dirty my mind.
Author notes
This is my first erotica so please don't be to harsh. I thought I would finally break my erotica cherry because I figured that it had to happen sometime!
Also please don't read this wrong because many people already have, this is a piece of reflection. This poem is meant to portray fantasies that are probably not true because the fantasy is not known. When it is left open it leaves room for errors and misconceptions, this poem is written this way for a reason. Please understand this, I am not trying to be a "typical man" but rather trying to mock one and to state a message "If you have a fantacy let it be known if not someone may make a fantacy for you". But that fantacy in itself can be another fantacy for someone else.
A contest entry
- Naughty Time by RedAquarius.
375 points, ended January 18, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 45 of 45
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Exceptional!
For a "first erotica" this is very well done. You seem to be very in touch with your sexuality, and "making fantasies of others for them" happens all the time, but you put it on "paper" very well. Nicely written for a reflective type piece. Seems like you spent some time in the thought chair with this piece. Thanks for commenting on my work, and thanks for sharing this piece here at AP.
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I got this idea after stumbling upon an article from one of my sisters magazines... at first I was only reading it because I was bored eating breakfast... but then it developed a little more....
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Pretty amazing where our muses can find us and hit us with inspiration, huh?
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I love it. Plain and simply, I LOVE IT.
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how have I never commented on this?!
In all honesty, I really like it. Its like your fantasy, is knowing what her fantasies are...I don't know if that's really what you meant but that's how I'm taking it.
Anyway, I like it, and its a lovely poem none the less. 
my favorite part...
"Cold water cleans my mind
And I must wait another day,
To feel the warming touch of,
Dreaming about your fantasies.
They always seem to dirty my mind."
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Yeah you are pretty much dead on......
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YAY
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Niceeee
Very nice........ i like it........ and thnx for the comment....:] -
I didnt find it in typical man fassion at all, letting the female take the power position, to me , shows a true expression of passion for a women. This left me feeling a little heated in all the ways erotica should.
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Pretty great piece....and I understand the point you're tyring to get across....cleverly done.
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Well... it is very clear that this is your first erotic piece... but you have so much potential and it is very well written. You just need more ... more time doing more writes like this one... it made me blush a couple times. Congrats on the trophy.
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also... im not really one to judge; erotica makes me uncomfortable in poem form. i cannot seem to do it. i can write it in a story but... this is impressive to me. especially since i dont like erotica but i couldnt stop reading this.
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i love it. i mean obviously being as its your first erotica its not going to be flawless but thats one thing that i think makes it so great. because it doesnt sound perfect like im reading it out of some book in the library, it sounds real, i can hear your voice. its really raw too.
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this is a great write. really portrays a typical man like you mentioned in your note.
"The shower, the place I go to get dirty…" The contradiction would confuse some people but it is done wonderfully if the reader could just get their head around the point that this is not reality to you yourself. keep em' coming
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I think this is great, especially for your first time
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I loved this really I did!
cute and with some humor mixed into it also...
had a great smooth flow to it....
nice write! =) -
Major applause... I don't see why people would be confused... I got this... I mean I understand.... I loved this poem... and I felt you did a great job expressing your point, I also loved the way you used a subtle approach to your point... very cool
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Hey I haven't even written erotica on here yet, but for a first one, this is great. It shows that erotica is not only a reality but a fantasy for others even while taking a shower, feeling the water against skin, and so on like your poem describes- if that makes any sense to you, lol I think this poem has a very good flow to it as well, great piece once again
-Bella -
for a first time erotica I think this isn't bad at all. Congrats on the bronze. this poem reminded me of someone I know. And there are some things in this I really do like. People shouldn't take this the wrong way, it's poetry, thats all.
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AMAZING
I REALLY ENJOYED THIS PIECE, YOUR VERY TALENTED THIS WAS VERY WELL WRITTEN... KEEP IT UP. NICELT DONE...
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WOW
I love this piece of work. You are a very talented writer.
Keep it up!!
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Oh i like this poem ALOT and it is really insperational
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wonderful
for a first time at erotica, you did a great job. i read this poem twice, just to be sure! and i think that you did so wonderful. the words, the way it just all fits together. it is so powerful and original, and i love that. this is such a brilliant piece, congrats on the bronze, you deserved that!
~bee -
As your author's page suggested, I read this twice through. I don't see it as you being a typical man, it's very real and very powerful. Very sensual and reflective. I much prefer it to a lot of erotica I have read. It's more poetic. Deserving of that trophy.
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Bravo! Bravo!
I agree, this poem does reveal many peoples fantasies and desires. fantastic. left no stone unturned, he did, he did!!!
nice job Jarrod.
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this poem revealis many peoples fantasies and desires. I know that a few lines and stanazas there i have wanted them to occur, i wont specify though, for my thoghuts only. But the fact that this is your first one, dotn really matter to me, but to be truthful, its very good for a first erotica. keep that ink lfowing, you maybe the next edgar allan poe or elizabeth bishop,
great job
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forgot my applaud, sorry....
you did really well on this!
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i love the line "Where you won’t worry of being judged
And no names simply stay that way."
i love it, its good to know that a guy can realize how a girl can feel.
i like that you aren't shy with the poem. i adore this...especially since they are more thoughts, dreams not a reality. i like that. i get it. it's good -
Fantastic
You did a great job Jarrod. You left just enough to entice and leave one wondering. We all have fantasies and to say you don't, is just a lie to yourself. So without being too vulgar you penned an excellent piece of erotica. I know myself I've had visions of a few of these things...but don't tell on me, it's our secret...hehehe. Good job and good luck.
Becky
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this is good jarrod. i like a lot. shows that you really want to know what fantasies go through her mind? and if she thinks that way about you. lol. kudos my friend!
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I forgot to applaud cuz my mind was wandering..
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woo hoo.. I am all hot and bothered now.. excellent writing... and if this is the first erotic.. I am seeping with excitement for the next instalation of erotic by Jarrod..
Thanks for the great read hon!! Love it.. more than you will know
~Krys~
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This is well written. I think you might have a niche' here and you should keep going. (practice makes perfect)
Cheers. -
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
never say that LOL how can anyone b harsh to you. this is pleasure at its best...!!!here we have a story of a young man in his tub day dreaming about a woman...whats more realistic to the sexual wants of a human being more than his or her dreams...this is a wonderful write and one of the best eroticas that i have written or read!!!! you really are good at this and i think that you should totally write some more. poetry like this is very rare and here it is before my eyes and its a blessing. this is too much of an amazing read and for it being one of your firsts thats incredible. i think you have it down to a tee already....think of it this way...any erotica using good strong words that are decent and yet arousing at the same time is unique and hard to do...and my friend you have done it here....
i see none of these types of words:
pussy
dick
ass
boobs
or anything else vulgar and so over used. you have created a scene with words that are just words and for that i give you major kudos...
thanks for the inspiration
inspire me more ^^
tess
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A fantacy within and not yet known. Sometimes it is better to ponder what might be. This is a good start in the erotica field of poems. I like the kind that are sensious but done in good taste. Leaves more for the mind to take in and think about. Good luck in your contest! ~Sie
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ALL I have to say is WOW, you soooo made me blush lol
God job...not that I have eead any others to base yours on...so it sounds like it would e a good job...lol...I am gonna go now, cuase I am babbling...BYE -
Very good. This was excellent for a first erotica. I liked the way the third stanza began with the question of dominating. That drew me in right away and made me curious to read more. Best of luck in the contest.
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Very very sensuous write, Poet...
It is hard to believe you haven't
written erotica before. You certainly
have me hooked...Yum. Love, Lane -
I'd have to say that that was a different way to look at things and express them. It has a good choice of words and they were portrayed nicely. You didn't push the limit of anything and that made it really nice. i think you did an amazing job with this one, I reallly do like it.
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Unique way of thinking about erotic fantasies, and I like the idea of someone else's assumed fantasies dirtying your mind. Good luck and thanks for entering the contest!
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Erotica was never my favorite on poetry. To me it reflects a dirty shape of love. And the only one that was like that was by “Individuality”. It was a tasteful poem which makes you grin. If you asked me, it is not such erotica. I even see you chose fantasy as the category of this poem. But I like the way you expresses imagination and joined the first of the poem to the end.
I thank you for sharing your poetic piece here with us and wish you best of luck in the contest you have entered :-)
~Massy~
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MM I think you need to get in touch with the feminine side a little more for I agree with freesoul, it seems as though its all about the man and that just aint erotic lol! It's like emotional blackmail, don't get me wrong I think its a good piece but we women would like to hear how it effects us from the emotional side of things if a man can do that occassionally then he is Aok in my book
Now you have explained it is you fantasising I get it more now! -
All for the good of man? How dirty do they want to make us? I like this...though i would not please them, but rather please myself...it's never about them in the end, but how we are going to feel better about ourselves! Good effective result on how they make us feel at times! Sex is unemotional to them, but to us it can make us feel dirty, and they have no idea...
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woah!
oh man now i need a shower! lol very good fora virgin,hehe keep up the good work -
Holy cow, lol. This is so new from you, but it's awesome! Seriously- wow. GREAT erotic piece. Totally astonishing.
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