They are as tedious as you.
Teeth caress the bloody pith,
carefully removing meat from seed.
I balance my steps carefully around your hard center.
You are just as sweet
and just as bitter.
A contest entry
- Pomegranate by ea.
1200 points, ended January 29, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pimp up my prewrites by leander.
650 points, ended February 21, 2008, 108 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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You used my favorite fruit for a wonderful metaphor how could I not like it. It is very fitting for so many I know.... Kudos
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This is quite a short poem that you have written here, but managed to capture a strong and beautiful metaphor within the lines
very well done on this one!
Thank you for entering, I wish you the best of luck in the contest
Leander -
Beautiful metaphor, and you make the suggestiveness seem so simple. A lot of punch in these few short lines! brilliant!
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Very fresh imagery indeed.
Excellent entry.
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I like this one. Very well done.
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this is a vivid image, the seeds of the pomegrante "caressing the bloody pith" like teeth belonging to the one in receipt of this angry launch of one of these seeds from the poet's mouth. A seedy spitball, this.
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Goes beyond yin and yang. Your metaphor is good.
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