The Game (Frankie Iero) 29

*But you…You’re dead.* you said. The van became clouded. Peachy clouds were everywhere. Like you were in heaven.  Well like you were visiting for a little while.
*Yeah I know*Adam said with a smirk. He looked completely healthy. Before the drugs and everything he was completely health he sure cleaned up nice. When you remembered how much you hated him for going back on his word and dying!
*I’m so sorry….* your hate had turned into guilt and you couldn’t hold back it anymore. You were trying to be strong and failing miserably.
*You don’t need to be. I was stupid. I killed myself. You tried to stop me.* He said Putting a hand on your forehead and brushing the hair out of your face he smiled and you smiled back despite the tears pooling and falling passed your ears.
*I miss you.* you said after a short moment of silence.. He nodded and replied with a warm voice
*I know. But what you’re doing is truly fucking you up. * his voice was so warm, enveloping you and making you feel less shitty.
*I know.* you laid there and started at him. Just knowing he was there made you feel safe. You didn’t know if this was a hallucination or not. But you liked it. You both just sat there in silence.
*Did it hurt?* you blurted.
*Hmm?* he asked. He seemed so detached. Like he was preoccupied and didn’t want to tell you.  He looked at you with loving eyes.
*Did it hurt, you know dying.* you asked feeling a little naïve. But it was aching to come out.
*No.. it was sort of like…you know when you‘ve done something bad. And you KNOW it‘s horrible. And have all that guilt just weighing you down. That heavy feeling. Well now. It‘s gone. Dying was like all that weight being lifted off your shoulders. Like peace. And knowing everything was going to be better.*
*Have…is.. How’s Lisa? Have you seen her?* you asked thinking about her. So young just to die like that so slowly. Just like that, no warning. No sign just die.
*Why don’t you ask her?* he said with a smile he looked up and nodded his head towards your right. You turned to see the lovely face of the blonde 18 year old.
*Heya Bobby.* she said quietly.
*Heya  lis’ how are you?*
“I’m fine…a lot better then how I felt when I was alive actually.*
*Did it hurt dying?*
*No. I slipped into a coma before I stopped breathing remember? I just faded away. It was scary. I didn’t have anyone to take me since I was the first to actually die. You guys were my family , everyone was still living by then, so I died alone.* she said running her hand through her hair and blushing softly. You were comforted but something, no someone, was missing.
*Where’s-?* you began
*I’m right here. Don’t worry.* you looked. He was elevated like he was sitting on the back seat but the clouds covered everything all you could see was them.  You looked at him and felt the tears coming the strain and the dryness.  He smiled at you.
*Why are you crying?*
*I’m so sorry. I could have stopped them but I’m so sorry I was so scared. I’m so sorry. I called 911 I did what you told me. But you were supposed to be okay. You were supposed to hold on!*
*Baby girl…I told you to go so I could die. I knew I was dying. I had stopped hurting the minute you came over to me. But I am a little mad that you didn’t see me in the hospital…*
*I’m sorry you was freaking out I couldn’t put a sentence together they were giving me tranquilizers but I wouldn’t take them.. I wouldn’t take them so they took my phone and called Frankie and Frankie calmed me down. But I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I just didn’t know what to do. It was happening all so fast I couldn’t… I didn’t know…I’m so sorry.*
*Don’t worry. I was just joking.* he assured you but you knew that was a lie you knew he really wanted you there. Since I was the last to die, I got both of these guys to help me through it.* he said.
*Why do I feel like this?* you asked. Everyone was quiet for a moment and refused to look at you. *How come I can see you. And I dreaming? Am I dead?*
*Not yet.*
*What?*
*You’re dying right now.*
*Why?*
*You’ve overdosed.*
*But I ran out of drugs yesterday.*
*I don’t know maybe I read it wrong.*
*Read what wrong?*
*You death certificate.*
*Wait. What’s going on?*
*We are your sympathetic spirits. We’re here to distract you. *
*Distract me from what?*
*Your soul is ripping away from your body and you’ll become like us. It’s actually quite painful. So be glad we’re here for you.*
*So I’m dying.*
*You’ll be dead in a few minutes.*
*Thanks for the warning.*
*No problem.*
*So…I’m dying. Is this what it feels like then. Where am I now. I can’t be in the van…*
*Your in heaven. *
*Am I staying here?*
*Yes. Most likely you were the purest of all of us so if we made it, you will too.* Lisa said using invisible finger quotes on the word Purest.. It should have scared the shit out of you to know that you were in fact dying. That you actually  screwed up your life, you fucked over Frankie and everyone. And you got nothing out of the entire thing, but truthfully you couldn’t have cared less. There would be no one to worry about you. So you didn’t have to do the clean up. Everything was over and you could breathe again. It was a nice feeling.