Syringe,
hugging my arm.
Liquid bliss entering,
blood and arteries hardening.
Possession of a lost soul, the perfect
breeding grounds for the lost venom.
A lost identity,
credit to the
Syringe.
A contest entry
- Flaunt Your Form- by deadcolor dreams.
600 points, ended February 23, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Bet if you centered that it would look like a mushroom...Cool
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A drug abuse poem.. didn't think I'd get one of those. But it's pretty good, actually.
'Cept:
Possession of a lost soul, a perfect
The comma messes up your flow.
You might want to rethink all the punctuation you use, in general.
Out of 50, I score this a 40.
Good job, good luck, and thanks for entering. -
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Ya...drug abuse...I actually wrote this for my writing class the other day...and then this contest popped up! We had to write about some sort of abuse, so tada my poem! Thanks for the input by the way, you're totally right! I noticed it was weird when I first wrote it, but I couldn't think of a good way to fix it so I got frustrated and didn't care anymore
Thanks again,
Dana
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