I know
Your name
The color of your eyes
What you like
I know
Who your friends are
What things you do
The sound of your voice
But I don't know
Who you are
I wish I did
You know
My name
The color of my eyes
What I like
You know
Where I live
How I act
The words I write
But you don't know
Who I am
I wish you did
If you knew
When I look at you
I want to hold you
Against my lonley body
If you knew
Every time I talk to you
I want you to press your lips
Against my trembling ones
If you knew
When I don't say a thing
I just can't find the perfect words
Or I'm afraid to say them
If you knew...
If I had you
I would hold you
kiss you
love you
Like no one else
Ever has
Like no one else
Ever could
If I had you
I would be happy
But I don't have you
I wish I did
Author notes
One of those poems...
In bed, somewhere after midnight
couldn't sleep
Mind stuck on a girl...
Eventually I got up and found a pencil and notebook
The flow isn't perfect
Neither are the words
But I felt like writing it...
I hate crushes >.<
(Option 1)
A contest entry
- Open to anyone and everyone! by Aidenn.
600 points, ended February 12, 2007, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - tons of options! by star wars fanatic.
450 points, ended March 20, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - N/A by Maybe Anastasia.
300 points, ended April 25, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options !! [PW ALLOWED!] by innocence jaded.xx.
625 points, ended July 13, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
Ohkay, so this is incredible. I absolutely loved it haha and I can relate to the feeling so well. While reading this, I could actually picture what was going on in my head in some weird way. What an incredible poem. Thank you so much for entering & I wish you the best of luck ! ♥
-
mmm I know how you feel crushes suck. Im hooked on one kid lol. very nice I like the flow! I like the way you worded everything too.Great write thanks for the entry.
-
yeah
I know what you mean. Knowing somebody, but they seam so far away. The flow could improve, but the words and thoughts are nice, so...finalist.
-
I know those nights so well but mine usually come out silly. You have penned a beautiful write showing so much emotion. Now get out there and do something about it. Well done. Keep them coming and bleseed be.
-
holy shit ...
wow this is freaking awsum! i love the flow of this poem and the form you chose to write it in! this is wonderful, amazing and yeah i dnt really know what else to say except this is probly one of my all time favs! i dnt know what it is about this piece but it hit me hard n wow im speechless! i love how youve chopped up the lines it gives an awsum impact and longing in a way. this is great i can really feel what your feeling!
i love the lines:
love you
Like no one else
Ever has
Like no one else
Ever could
these are awsum!
anyway good luck i say just go for it hun!
love ~Haunted~
-
how sweet.
i think it's really nice of you to write that, except maybe use less enter buttons. You should combine the lines that you divide in half...if you get what i'm talking about. You could have put " I know your name" in the same line. but otherwise it was teriffic. A poem that means something very simple, but at the same time gives a great message. Hope it works out for you.
-
'This writing is simply marvelous! I enjoyed this piece immensely. I definitely wasn't expecting all of the stuff between the first line and the ending statement. All in all, very enjoyable. Thought provoking, Imaginative, and I loved your creative imagery. Your carefully chosen words painted a picture as I read your poetic work of art. Well, done and thank you for sharing. Keep up the great work. Best of wishes to you. good luck in all that you do
-
wow
I think those kind of poems are the best. When you have something so stuck in your mind and knowing that it will make you feel better to get it out, you just write it down. I do it sometimes! I think your poem is well written and I liked your form. How you had this thought process without really making it feel forced. I liked that.
The words I write
But you don't know
Who I am
I wish you did
That was my favorite stanza. I liked how you put your emotions into this whole poem, you are a talented poet. Keep up the hard work! Good luck in this contest.
-
OMG! This is exactly what is currently happening to me except its to a guy. It's that feeling you know that you like them, but when it all comes down to everything they like you to. But when someone else steps in your way, you are heartbroken, and wish that you could be the one. This is a great peom, and I really enjoyed it.
Keep on Writing!
~Jacquie -
Wonderful
You did just fine expressing yourself, your most important mission...to leave an imprint, that Sir, you did. You allowed me to join you on a journey within your thoughts and It truly made me feel as if I was there, wonderful work. Keep it up poet! Thanks for sharing this with us this evening, it was my pleasure to read
~Tia
-
Oh My Gosh... daniel this is beautiful! Any girl should be lucky to have you! And I feel this way towards a guy I see... but he doesn't get the clue. Yes, crushes do suck! And the flow is fine... I think it has a great deal of emotion and the flow works great! Loved it a lot! Rock On! xoxo Meg
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
