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s t a t i c before p e n e t r a t i o n

pencil neck penguin eating the flesh

camels looking on in disgust

Mr. cleaning the bones from his beard

Rooster of Bronze spinning in the wind

child of failure spinning in the wind

angry young man spitting in the wind

Dementia the best drug this old man ever had

shitting out his sins

he saw it's totality in a toilet

a funny thought occured to him

static before penetration

albatross in flight between the lands of Generation

Author notes

yeah, it's ODD, so what?

I like it...
Written June 3rd, 2003

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • vampira1665 silver member
    April 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Ohh, I love it, simply love it.
    Hugs and bites, Lady Raven

  • pencapchew
    July 5, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    btw, i like the colors

  • pencapchew
    July 5, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    hahaha, i like it too. so you're insane huh? yeah, i am too sometimes. most of the times.

    piece of advice:
    DON'T LET THE CRACKERS GET TO YOU!!!
    AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!


















    *runs away screaming*






































    *trips*

  • fingertips
    June 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    cool like an icebox

    i'll let you know when i find out, but i have a hunch you are a genius. just a hunch mind you, but a pretty good one. i can tell these things, i've met a lot of geniuses in my day


  • twisted butterfly
    June 4, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, I like it too Mike, just the analogies that you've come up with here on their own are very thought inspiring. Love the way you combine spinning spinning spitting in the wind. The whole idea of shitting away your sins is an appealing one. Have to try that.... lol

    Lisa x


  • June 4, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    rocket ships

    me too...i like it too...odd is always best...makes the most sense really...this is another very clever piece of work...and ...andand...i don't know...thank you.
    Edited on Jun 04, 12:15 because 'needed editing'.

1 - 6 of 6