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Endure All Things

Vows.
Shattered, now engraved on broken glass.
I have, but cannot hold, not without pain.
Do you cherish? Do you honor?
You evade.

Your efforts.
Hobbies, studies,
It's all clanging noise that drowns out the question
Of why there's no love.

Your self image
Of giving and helping and teaching,
It's a great way to spend free time,
But gains us nothing,
If you don't love me.

I wait
For you to change
Or, more accurately, change again.
Not fully understanding,
Still bound by my vows,
Til the imperfect pass away.

 

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • silverscent gold member
    January 22, 2007

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    I liked this. It seemed to be worded literally, and seemed to be a spoken poem. What I mean is someone could read it aloud without it sounding overdramaic. The flow was constant, at no time did I stumble on the words. I liked the format too, the idea of the first line of each stanza being a couple of words to round up that stanza worked well.
    To me, helping the homeless and feeding the kids seemed a bit of an erm...cheesy way to spend time away from your other half, but honestly that's the only thing I wasn't keen on in the ENTIRE poem.

    I especially liked the final stanza as it drew the poem to a close in a serious and matter of fact mannor. It was saddening, but I guess truthful.

    Thanks for sharing.


  • Soulmark
    January 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Do you cherish? Do you honor?
    You evade.
    I like the flow of the begining now. I like these lines. Better.


  • individuality gold member
    January 19, 2007
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    love life and marriage, it goes pear-shaped a lot of the time. a good poem. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...

  • Soulmark
    January 18, 2007

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    This is really good, good job. It is true. When people are searching for themselves or have no idea what they are doing then they pretend to care about others to give themselves a purpose that they are searching for. I think that you need to get the readers attention at the begining. It just isn't strong at the begining. Good though.


    • HsiaoKuo
      January 19, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I redid the opening. (old version saved in the revisions). Better? worse?

  • maheo
    January 18, 2007
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    I think that the flow and content are divine

  • maheo
    January 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow this hit home...my partner said something to me that was damn near this the other day...I think that people drown themselves in others when they themselves are incomplete....well written and an eye opener for me.

    • HsiaoKuo
      January 18, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the comment!
      I can't take full credit for the theme -- it loosly follows 1 Corinthians 13. Any suggestions on wording? Did it flow ok?

1 - 9 of 9