ALMOST II
i placed the
newspaper on
my desk, tracing
out each word
slowly
like a condemned
man reading
his first book
it’s been over
a year now
but you still
haven’t learned
to stop clawing
through my eyes
i wish i
could reminisce
but it’s hard
when i
lament instead
christ,
you went out
like a true tramp
because only
champs survive
their own hollowed
mistakes
and who wants that?
you were an apple
that dropped too
soon and
rolled off
into a pile
of over-ripened
zealots
you fed off
the future
downed shots
of time
and drowned in
mercurial fountains
because each
step behind de leon
tasted sweeter
and sweeter
in wasted bliss
each passing john
a vagrant whisper
and nothing more
you were the
roof of my truck
scraped
rusted
hanging by
threads
i have since
passed the metaphor
to you
you were almost
real
and in the
aftermath
i still wonder
why
why
why
you almost
only almost
gave in
Author notes
Fucking hell, I suck.
This is my fourth onerios13 emulation; the first one, which is what this is based on, can be found here: http://allpoetry.com/poem/1583523
"Slipknot" blows. Metallica is much better.
Options 1 and 9.
In a list
Comments
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like a condemned
man reading
his first book
if you wouldn't cuss, it would sound 10x better-that's what ruins a piece.
I like some description here-well worded
just don't cuss -__-
pegleg -
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That's funny, because I didn't curse.
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lol I liked the ending of the first one better than this one, but still thought this kicked ass. Actually, the last two stanzas of this one were fantastic.
And you don't suck! So shush up and go write some more poetry. -
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Yeah, I wasn't really sure how to end this one up. I'll see if I can tweak it a little and make it better.
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