The murky water
It's deep,
The deeper the hotter.
The side is tall,
It's steep,
The steeper the farther the fall.
The bottom is dark,
It's muddy,
The muddier the more stark.
The bottom is full of dread,
It's bloody,
The bloodier the more dead.
Author notes
Search for the meaning.
A contest entry
- ALMOST ANYTHING GOES by VerminVomit.
303 points, ended May 5, 2008, 47 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Constructive feedback is always appreciated
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Though I get the depressive outlook/connection, I am put off by the acrostic which seems to pour scorn on what is a disease of the mind.
Perhaps it was unintentional or maybe subconsciously the author is berating himself for being in this condition?
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I would say this is very intriguing to say the least, Yes I wanted more. Maybe someone opening a doorway for the dead. But thats how far you took me. So thats why I liked it so.
Good luck with your entry.
All the best,
~T.S~
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JUST THE RIGHT LENGTH
just the right length
i like the 6t line the most
i love these kinds of poems where i have to find the meaning...*starts thinking*
i think the meaning is: well, i think the meaning/message is... id rather be at the top than the bottom...
i really like it... i LOVE it!!!!
*adds to finalists list* -
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Sure I suppose anyone would rather be on top than bottom
but it is more about the pit of despair you can fall in when you suffer from depression. Murky water is the distorted and unclear view on life, the unability to see thing for what they really are. It is very deep, in other words it gets worse and worse. The side is tall and steep, as in it is very hard to get yourself out of. The deeper the hotter, as in the deeper you go the more pain you feel. It is hard to fight depression. The farther the fall, again you can fall very far and things only get worse. It's muddy, again distorted and unclear view on life/reality. Also the mud can hold you in. The more stark or the more harsh, grim, or desolate. When you hit the bottom or the deepest into depression you can go there is nothing but dread, you just want out, you can't take it anymore. It's bloody, as in you hurt (or "killed") people in your life due to depression and also some people get so down they do the worst possible: commit suicide (I do not believe this is an answer) An of course the bloodier the more dead, I think that speaks for itself.
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Hey....this was a great write and I really enjoyed reading this poem....the flow was very smooth and creative as well..I also liked the way you formated this poem as well keep writting and good luck in the contest
XTashaX -
very interesting poem...i like it. thankyou so much for entering and best of luck!
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Thanks, I am glad you like it.
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um..
this was ok. It was not what I was looking for, but it'll do.
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Yeah, I wasn't sure but I figured I may as well try it, better than not, eh?
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