Just close your eyes and imagine a place
Where the whole human race just smiling with grace
Regardless of race no girls crying rape
And the only person who decides your fate
Is the Lord no more ugly wars
With amunition and bloody sowrds therefor
We'll be surrounded by silence
Not a trace of violence
No walking the block hearing police sirons
Just peace and sierenity not thinking of enimies
Only happy memories no criminals around to commit felonies
And instead of pigeons we see white doves with gold wings
And instead of profanity we hear the poetry our soul brings
Because I'm tired of cold reality
I'm tired of police brutality
I'm tired of the insanity and profanity of a thug mantality
See I want to live in a civilized society
Where I don't see one way I see different varietes
A world where I dont have polotitans lie to me
And we can treat all races with fairness and equality
But instead you have mothers sreaming
Beacause her son died bleeding
Think of the brothers and sisters he was leaving
Because of a stray bullet
Didn't even live life to the fullest
He was only eighteen
This world stays mean
I guess we'll never have the world I wanted it was just a Day Dream
A contest entry
- Surprise Me by Fall.Of.Rome.
900 points, ended February 3, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Only Imagination! by AwesomeJoshsome.
525 points, ended February 3, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ages 15 and under: Fantasy by Faeryn.
390 points, ended February 20, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Fading Art Work Redeem(600 points) need really good writers by inkedsnow.
600 points, ended February 23, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Good poem but I'm afraid it won't do for my contest. This is supposed to be about inner peace and the way you mention police brutality, a person dying bleeding and bloody swords throws it off. Sorry. But I wish you good luck in the other contests you've entered.
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this is a good poem. that world you day dream about is the world i want to..good job keep up the great poems
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Thank you for taking the time to enter this contest. Best of luck to you
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You entered this in the wrong contest. If we were looking for a sermon, we would go to church. I am sure they will love this in your church newsletter, but our magazine is not a place for anything so preachy. I do appreciate spiritual poetry, but not when it is written in this manner. I prefer subtlety and imagery.
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hmm, this is very good. flows well, nice word choice. *use spell chack! please!* nice rhyming.best of luck in the contest and keep up the awesome writing. -Sarai-
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Strange
Hmmm well, Its a good write hopefully you win one of these contests! Can't wait to read more works! I will be judging the 3rd of feb! Good luck until then! -
whole thing was great,flowed well, and rhyme was right on cue, one thing..spell check, its quite handy lol...love the thoughts coming out of this one. keep penning!
Emily -
Interesting. Not bad...I agree with most of it, however I would not dare put my fate in the hands of a fictional deity. However, decent poem, good luck and thank you.
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hey that's hot keep on writing... You might what to do a spell check ok
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that was some good stuff...i think u mean politicians...i think i spelled it right...lol...i would check though...i loved that...keep writin...ur good
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