Staring into the black night- I glare
The darkness cursing my hardened soul
Snow fluttering down
Like acid: hitting my face
My body
My heart
Silently, I scream
Tortured, I convulse
Pleading
LET...ME...DIE...
Agonizing terror fills my being
Holding me captive
You can't get in
Nor I out
An old-fashioned Western standoff
Going no where but down
Author notes
I really don't know what this is. Or where it came from. I almost scared myself writing it. I'm also not sure if it's done yet or not. But it seems to be at the moment.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Wow. This is good. Especially the part about acid snow, that was chilling! I can relate to the feelings in this poem. I've felt that way before and it's not fun. Take care and write more!!!!
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sad and intriguing
Its interesting actually, this poem seems to be the first part of the next poem. I believe it is a continuation. Read them this one first, then the other, and you'll see what I mean.
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This is brilliant writing. Your emotions were deep in this piece. I could feel the pleading within this piece too. Crying out for help. Keep writing.
All the best
Wayne
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what can I say
An excellent write bringing the reader into your feelings. Acid snow!. dark & frightening . But strength is in your words
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Totally Captivating
"Staring into the black night- I glare"
Very intriguing to start. I KNOW that there are deep emotions here looking into a dark night. This poem seems to evoke that. Very Good
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Very Good!, Deja vu
very similar in theme to a LOT of mine...
Honestly this is the first of your opoems that I ahve read, and eventhough you have left comments for me, I am sorry to say that I havn't looked at your stuff before now.WEll, It is good...and like I said, ver close to the themes of some of mine.
Wynd-fyre.....Brad -
totally understand
my first thought..... musta just got home from savin capitalone accounts.. -
Superbly Dark!!!!
deep and dark!!!!! I loved the way you have brought that old western standoff into this. because it is that creepy feeling that one of you is about to push up daisys. Very elemental for the way you have written this one so intelligently over all and to further bring us down into that kind of real sinking feeling!!!!!
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wow...scaaarrryyyyyy....let me die?? ahhhhhhh noooooo
where did this come from B? did not expect this from you, but it's cool a different side of beth....and it's not written porn haha
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Alright, who stole Beth's password and hacked her poetry page??
Wow, Bether, this certainly isn't typical of you. It's good, just not something I'd have expected to see from you...! Good job, though. Everything alright over there?
Jer
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Wow.. this is um... not something I expected from you, but it is a reallg great write from you!
I am not even sure how to comment right now.. it is just like wow. You did a great job writing this,and it would be neat to find out the reason why... so if you figure that one out let me know... great poem.
Rivkah
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hmm...dark, yes...but the kind of darkness we all understand. I like it...in a frightened-and-backing-away-slowly sort of way.
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