...the written word...

in my mind
i stand beside your bed
and watch you sleeping
the blanket pulled up tight
to just below your chin.
there are no lines in your face
and i can smell
the faint sweat smell
of you asleep.

i want to stand back
as a third person
and watch you make love to me.
to see how you look
where you put your hands
to see the way your body moves.
i want to see the thoughts in your head
float like pictures against the white
of your bedroom wall.
 

i sit here at work, 5 o'clock
in the morning
and think myself into your house.
i know the quiet shadows there
and the smells as i walk up the stairs
to your bedroom.
i see myself sliding into your bed.
i want to be invisible
or sometimes look like another person
to see if you would treat me any differently.

i want to be there to hear your dreams,
to see you walking naked alone
to your bathroom.
i want to know who you are when no one
else is there.
i want so slide all around you
holding your skin underneath my own.
at 5 o'clock in the morning
i am terrified of your death
and going crazy.
of coming there to your empty bed
night after night.
 

an old woman seeking something
in the emptiness
vacant eyes turned inward
forever seeing you asleep
never waking, never rising
never smiling
your voice only dust on the telephone line
your touch only a warm wind.
and i suddenly wish for the power
to make the written word come true.