As evening comes, the sun descends
in silence, here a spectrum blends,
from reddened west to darkened east.
The working day is done; released,
we seek our homes and welcome friends.
In ties of love, each one depends
on others; so the web extends,
and willing hands prepare the feast
as evening comes.
The sinking of the sun portends
a day to come, this never ends.
Although the work of day has ceased,
and all may rest one night at least,
the hope of morning still transcends
as evening comes.
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Author notes
Rondeau form, written on April 30 2006
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Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Yes! You capture it ever so eloquently, the work, the faith, and the love!
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I love the rhyme scheme of this poem! I've seen it before but never on AP. I particularly liked the first stanza, though I thought the whole poem was great
Such a good descriptive piece, and yet you haven't splashed adjectives all over the place, it's kind of... minimalist. You paint a vivid picture using reasonably few decriptive words. I love it
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very well done, considering I like to rhyme in a majority of my poetry seeing rhyming in different forms is nice...Scott
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This is the sort of form that those who write free verse would benefit from studying. The fact that there is a form doesn't impede the impact of the poem, but enhances it.
The repetition of the phrase rings like a bell, makes the reader stop for a moment and ponder. The conscious departure from a steady rhythm is arresting and interesting, but it works because it is something done with intent, not by accident.
I always enjoy seeing talented poets explore different styles of expression. Thank you for sharing this with us.
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Very nice. I've never come in contact with this type of form before, and I like that you wrote it exactly a year ago from when my contest ends. I liked the tetrameter and the rhyme scheme. Your "a" lines are gentle, tranquil, and quiet, but your "b" lines incorporate long vowels and demand to be anunciated and heard; I like the effect they have together.
And you've produced a beautiful meaning in general, as well.
Although the work of day has ceased,
and all may rest one night at least,
the hope of morning still transcends
as evening comes.
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Wonderful
This is a lovely poem, Margaret. It capyures the ebb and flow of the day as well as alluding to relationships. I thoroughly enjoyed the poem. Chris.
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Thank you Chris. I'm happy you enjoyed it.
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A lovely flow
A lovely flow as day flows out to exchange daily comings and goings with night. As I became aware of my breathing, last night, my breaths reminded me of the ocean waves going in and out as if the breath sounds of earth. I pondered that awhile in vivid memory of meeting the ocean and listening to the waves as I drifted off to sleep in oceanic memory like a piece of driftwood sleeping soundly as a log.
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Thanks Sea. Each reading gives a new interpretation.
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Peace, perfect peace
That is a truly stunning combination of sunset and words. And I like the structure of the poem. It's a bit like weaving, if I may put it like that, where one single line blends into the main body of the next stanza. Och, what I'm trying to say is - serenity in simplicity. Many thanks for sharing. -
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Thank you Keith, I'm happy you enjoyed this, it is one of my favorites. The form is called a rondeau, the refrains and rhymes are determined, though meter is variable.
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A sense of soul unfolds in the twilight colors and silk of your wordpaint. I caught my breath in the reading; it's the silhouettes of life evenly breathing. Pure loveliness!
~K
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Thank you K! The long hours of the early summer evening are particularly wonderful to me. I'm happy you feel it too.
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The three ladies who have commented before me have said all there is to say, so I'll agree with them.
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Very beautiful
Dear Sweetpea,
Your poem is so beautiful my friend.
It's nice at the end of the day to seek the sanctity of our homes and be with our loved ones. I enjoy reading your poetry very much.
Love Joan
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Thanks Joan, I'm glad to bring you pleasure. It's the simple things that make life wonderful.
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A beautiful piece, Margaret, with just the right touch of melancholy. The poem and the picture are perfect together. A wonderful artistic work to help me start a new day. Lovely! Hugs, Patricia
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Thank you Patricia. Do you see why I am addicted to forms?
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oooo this was deep and so lovely..you've done a great job here. I love reading all of your form poetry..it's rather addicting lol.
Kari
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Thanks Kari, it is also a delight to write. I deleted this by error, and have brought it back for your pleasure.
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