1. A woman is feeling the love of one who is only a memory. The curtain is being pulled back for him to emerge. She feels the touch as bittersweet and longs to be in both places, where she is, and with him where he is. He is satisfied.
2. A memory of cherished love peeks through the curtains of perception and caresses
one who is here. She feels the loving caresses as wonderful remembrance and tragic loss, a whirlwind of emotion that always confuses her, a bittersweet touch upon her skin. Yet, the tragedy is only in her indulgence, for if she allowed the caress to transfer in totality, she would see that all is well and satisfaction is earned.
3. Bittersweet
Perchance a memory of cherished love
Peeks through the curtain from another plane
And touches her with pure intention of
Reminding her of perfect times again
Her spirit surely feels the love and yet
Her flesh is weak and changes it somehow
The message from beyond it cannot get
Wanting for the caresser here and now
This whirlwind of emotion stirs a pain
The touch is bittersweet upon her skin
Indulgence, caused by wanting him again
Barring his satisfaction sinking in
For the naiveté of flesh she cried
Yet, deep down in her soul, she’s satisfied
In a list
A contest entry
- TRIO by myrataal.
900 points, ended January 29, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Ooooh spellbound I am. This is fantastic ... hypnotic.
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Stimulating For Sure
Satisfaction is all the rave in some circles.
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Inspirational!
Per.. this is a work that really touches the reader. I like the way that you have done this trio piece and find it tying into a beautiful, bittersweet, loving gift that I cherish to this day. "To have loved and lost is better than to not loved at all" are words that describe both my memory and your work perfectly. I truly hope that you received the gold trophy that this piece so richly deserves. You have taken a subject that is not easily written about and brought out in subtle ways, the beautiful lessons that memories like these bring. Thank you for this gift. -
this is piece is excellent ..touches me somehow... I wonder why?
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Good interpretation of material ...
thank you.
Suggestions:
Stick to the rules and number your three tasks.
Please change the poetic prose into a paragraph.
Title at your poem, please (Bittersweet)
Otherwise, a good slant. You KNOW how to write prose! And poetry. -
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after all, I'd hate to ruin my image...
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I didn't follow the rules? How unlike me. I'll get right on that...
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WOW!
I really loved the concept of this piece you did such a beautiful job. What brought on such fire? Might I ask, your just spiting out such great writings lately. WOW! LOL!!! Well anyway I just wanted to tell you what a great write it was and to say best of luck in the contest.
-Trixie
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Wow!!
this is a write that I can so relate to!!!! Bittersweet! Perfect word with perfect imagery and I love this!!!!
And touches her with pure intention of
Reminding her of a perfect times again
......
This whirlwind of emotion stirs a pain
The touch is bittersweet upon her skin
Indulgence, caused by wanting him again
Barring his satisfaction sinking inYes, this is perfectly written. I love it. Good luck in the contest!!
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