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I'm not a surreal painting master that moonlights as a cabbie

my name?
why, Enid Brittleseed, sir.

I'm just another
ordinary woman.

I'm not a stockbroker
searching.

I'm not a poor
southern girl.

And no,
neither a skyscraper

engineer or builder.
nor a teacher.

I'm just enid.

I'm not a surreal master painter
that moonlights as a cabbie.

I'm not an endearing poet
from any time period.

I'm just another woman
sitting here

talking to you.
I'm not an entertainer.

I'm not a historic
translantic aviator.

I'm not a queen of any country.

I'm not a bartender
for The Four Seasons.

And I'm not any of these.

Too, and all that's true,
That I wish I never were.

That I keep being me
over and, and over again.

It is this curse.
It is this of course.

That I keep being me,
that I keep being me.

That I keep running
into myself.

And I'm not a zoo trainer.
I'm not a foreign dignitary.

No ambassador for anyone.

I'm just ordinary.
Another woman.

I'm not a war general.
I'm not a nobel winner.

I'm not all the rest of me.
Neither anyone else.

I'm not an ice skater.
I'm not a heroine addict.

I'm just a woman.
I'm just a human being.

Songs will never be written
about me in memory.

I'm just another bystander
although I seem so infinite.

I'm just a caretaker
for all the old in age.

I'm just a seamstress.
I'm just that little girl

playing hopscotch all day.
I'm just a young lady

who loved singin'
in the morning's shower.

I'm just so many memories
that are always forgotten.

I"m

j
u
s
t

e
n
i
d

b
r
i
t
t
l
e
s
e
e
d.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 43 of 43

  • broken-colours
    May 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for entering my contest. I'm trusting that you've read the rules and only have 0-5 trophies.

    This is simply incredible. Tells the tale of most of us, rather sadly. Nothing special, nothing to be remembered, just another person. Although, we're also indescribably special to at least one person, even if the whole world doesn't even know your name.

    Best of luck to you in my contest, as well as in the others you've entered.


  • Eden Eyes
    May 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    That's beautiful. You really capture the sense of the character with every line. She refuses to be classified by a job, only as herself. She's not anyone particularly spectacular that society will remember a hundred years from now. She's just a normal person who will live on in the hearts of everyone she meets. She has a piece of everyone, and everyone will remember the woman who refused to be anyone but who she really is,

    enid brittleseed, the woman who sings in her morning shower, the girl who loved to play hopscotch. She's just a normal woman that will be forgotten with the flow of time...

    Just like everyone else.


  • Sapphire Rose
    April 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting. I feel as though I'm sitting somewhere with Enid, and she describes who she is to me. Nothing special in the world's eyes, but in mine she is. Enid is just another person with no real special promise for greatness, that is yet known, a relatively normal person with an average life and seems content with it. Someone alot of people would like just for her bluntness. Excellent, in my book.

    Sweetest of dreams! ~D


  • BabyBun silver member
    March 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Hi Brian. What can I say? I love it. It is witty and wonderfully written. I loved the way that you even gave this unassuming character a small "e" in enid. I think henceforth you shall be a favourite!


  • RT michaels
    February 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i don't know why you took this poem out of my contest. I had practically reserved 1st for you. I really and truly do love your poem. It's fresh and original. Well, thank you anyways...

  • EncounteredEpiphany
    February 11, 2007

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    Amazing!

    Unbelievably captivating. The way you were able transcend throughout the domains.

    Wonderful write!

    Salute!


  • Rose Angel gold member
    February 5, 2007
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    Is there a new path for your poetry ahead

    Brian it is 4 a.m. and I will have to get to bed..When I saw the flowers,,,Ah ha,,,,fallower..This site is unique...You have ideas in which way you are going with Enid, and other personalities perhaps, besides your lovely poetry....Enid was lovely...It shows so much promise! Perhaps you can send your answer or comment to these few questions to Rose Angels site...Wishing you the best...Could you type your new name again so I can change it on my favorite list because you are there as fallower..Appreciated your comment for the contest I did win a silver...Thanks Brian.....Rose Angel.


  • Rose Angel gold member
    February 5, 2007

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    Brian...I think I have said you have clever ways of writing poetry...and the discovery of your Enid has made in a humourous fashion, helped alot of us,men and women...to see our own uniqueness,and accept it..We all have a name, a story and gifts, whether ordinary,or extraordinary,,Just being a human being,we do make a difference..even when we don't know we are...I just love Enid,,,It could make a weekly story in the life of Enid...The possibities are endless....The idea of Enid is the only one like it on the site...I commend you for venturing with this poem.....It is a delight!


  • chills gold member
    February 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Google

    If you google Enid B'etc, you get Fallower at Allpoetry. That's really rather good n'est pas? She really rather IS.


  • chills gold member
    February 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Honest

    She is a haunter, that Enid. Enid Brittleseed. This was both gentle and also very scary... xx


  • Goodolenad
    January 29, 2007

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    ah, here's a poem all of us gals can relate to.

    i really do love the structure of this poem. it's interesting and simple at the same time, keeping the reader's curiosity piqued throughout the entire poem.

    wonderful job.

    one suggestion: "i'm just a brittleseed." is a wonderful line, and i understand that it needs to be spread out for its effect to really seep into the reader's mind, but perhaps there's another way to spread out the line? the "verticalness" of it just didn't seem to coincide with the rest of the poem. if that's what your'e looking for, if you're trying to separate yourself from the rest of the accomplished women (which i believe you are), the structure has worked. but i do wish you'd find another way to do it. it just seems to simple to work alongside with the simple complexity of the rest of the poem.

    wonderful wonderful wonderful write! i simply adore this piece. it really is a splendid write!

    -nadia.


  • WinE-reDpuddles
    January 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh wow! this was brilliant!!!! i absolutely luvd this brian! wow. i really liked this. im jst me. not someone ud like me to be... or someone famous. jst me. and im happy with it luvly.


  • M.Antoinette
    January 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Enid Brittleseed Rules !!!

    I liked this poem. I don't know why but it brings to mind that christmas movie "It's a Wonderful life". We are all here for a reason and it's important even if we don't understand why. We who are here are all winners because we won that first race. That race to be born. So evidently this poem made me think alot about this. So great write poet and thanks for keeping me on my toes.


  • geewj
    January 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It was very nice. I could never write like that because I rely too much on my structure. Thanks for a glimps of what it takes to do without it for a bit.


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    January 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    well... just enid brittleseed

    it's a wonderful thing that you are just you, because there's no one else in the world ..who will ever do it as well as you.. whether it's almost or absolutely..

    and the world would be one star empty if it were for that.



    I like the end falling, it's both a sound that slowly disappears and a slow tempo ending to ...acceptance..



  • Angel Crest
    January 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Just Enid...this was a wonderful poet...so full of self...aware of your own presence and contribution....well put!


  • RT michaels
    January 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    WOW. you are an amazing poet. You have a very original style. You thought of something that i have not seen once in this contest. you are no ordinary poet. Thank you very much for you entry. And i love the title.


  • briareus gold member
    January 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    good work playfully

    Repeated 'I'm not... I'm just' is dropping seeds from the plant until only the stem of 'identity' remains, visible at the bottom as a surprise ending, so the form conveys the meaning very well.


  • Sir Galahad
    January 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Sweet. Truthful and emotional. Something to remember, something to think about... and hit on a fundamental truth- the world isn't some big story. <3

    (btw, thanks for your sweet comment on Lace. ^^)


  • Batman
    January 27, 2007

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    This was a very interesting poem. It didn't comform to any rules and it spoke out. Nice work and well writen.


  • Mistifear
    January 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I love the style you used for this and the poem itself is amazing. Nice job. I just wanted to stop by and repay the kindness of commenting on one of my poems. Thank you very much. I love this poem, it's so interesting.


  • klassy lassy
    January 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Whoever you are, your are star bright in this poem. I've thought so many times how ordinary I am, and sometimes have wished to be something else, so I relate to this poem on a gut level, but loving life and singing can make the most common of us all radiate! I just loved this!

    small correction: ("who" loved singin' in the morning's shower)


  • Omei
    January 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The title grabbed me, and the write kept the hold. Very beautiful penning.
    "I'm just another bystander
    I'm just so many memories
    that are always forgotten"

    There are a few lines in here that imply that not being able to get away from one's self is a curse.(which I am sure many, myself included, can relate to)
    The best part of realizing who you are comes from accepting who you're not and being ok with it.
    Then coming to the understanding that being just you is not such a bad thing after all.

    Nice write, from concept to execution it was very well done.


  • cherche -d -ame
    January 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    now it is my turn to be in awe of "genius".Enid-(factual or fictional)in her realisation of all the things that she is not, has risen above and beyond all of those things, and by the mere acceptance of whom and what she is, was and will be has claimed ownership and acceptance of herself and in herself. And this write has now immortalised her, not with a song , but with homage to anyone that knows that in the end we are all just "little ole me-a human being". I wish you the very best in this contest,
    reenie


  • ConvenientExcuses
    January 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    awesome!

    I really like this poem. great job! keep writing, your poems are great. good luck in the contest you've entered!
    *ConvenientExcuses*


  • YoursTrulyJulie gold member
    January 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    EXCELLENT

    Wow, I could so relate to this one and admire your work. Well done loved it.


  • me steve
    January 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Simple but Oh how true

    One of the great things I get to do is put my feet up and read just share brilliance, A/P has brilliance in a poet that wrote about a simple Enid. I loved this pen just loved it nothing that I would change as I like being me. This pen certainly emphasizes this doesn’t it just? How lucky we are to read such wonderful heart felt poetry such as you have written. We serve a great and holy God and we complicate thing for our self, this poem highlights this to every point. Great imagery appeared while reading for the 5th time. Well great poems should be read more than once it’s the only way for me to really absorb what the poet is saying and feeling. Thank you very much for sharing. I also would like to say a big thank you for your positive comments on my limited writing skills. I spent 8 years in Fiji and yes it would be great to see it a bit longer however because we are talking political rubbish I had to be very careful. Three attempts at ones life are more than enough I don’t want a fourth. God Bless you and thanks again. Steve

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    January 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ahhh,interesting,liked the way the poem revealed who Enid wasn't not in the oh why can't I be but in the acceptance of self and I met her I would say she may feel ordinary but ordinary people is what most of us and every now and then we may do,say or feel extraordinary things and if you made an anagram out of her name you would find "dine" when one appreciates their limitations but doesn't feel limited by them,when one feels ordinary but has no ego to pretend other wise then one may dine at the dinner table of life without pomp,circumstance or arrogance.Good luck with this in the contest


  • Alleksa Jan
    January 24, 2007

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    There is always may be something absolutely beautiful hiding behind the simplicity - one can never know!
    A very unique poem. You tell nothing - yet you tell a lot. This might sound confusing - you can count on me for that!
    I don't know whether you are critique sensitive - it is just that I thought that last line that you have put horisontally was quite unnecessary as I as a reader spent more time reading it, than actually being blown away by the final lasting impression. Sorry, it is just a suggestion of a complete poetry loser.
    Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing your talent!
    Regards,
    Jan


  • Carly Pop gold member
    January 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    very good!

    this was very good - very original, never read one like this! thank you for entering!

  • deleteit
    January 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like the way you think as well as your style. This was a great read. I am. I exist. That in itself speaks so much volume. Great write and good luck


  • Blankscreen2222
    January 23, 2007

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    Wow!

    What a brilliant write!
    Such a refreshing change to read such humbling and realistic poetry that is so down to earth.

    It's very different from much of the over-inflated ego writes which are so popular thesedays.

    I loved the message it conveys and enjoyed this one much. (wow!)
    Thanks for the great read.
    Blank.


  • Floorboards
    January 23, 2007

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    really good

    i reall like this one, very unique i think, i really like the simplicity of the whole thing, very well done and good luck in the contest,
    regards,
    floorboards


  • knitonepearlone
    January 22, 2007
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    SUPERB!!!

    I lovd this poem and smiled all the way through. Three cheers for Enid Brittleseed !


  • Balldinger silver member
    January 22, 2007
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    so much more...

    All hail the commoner. All hail the Whitmanesque voice in this piece that depicts who you are as you are that within yourself. A fine piece of poetry that I applaud from the title until the end... ~ EZB

    http://www.moodgroove.com


  • Avalin
    January 21, 2007
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    Excellent!

    Even though this lady claims not to be all these things I still find her very interesting. In this day and age it always seems like everybody has to be some big star to be important but I like the way this character is just herself. Much enjoyed!

    ~Avalin~


  • paullallady silver member
    January 19, 2007

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    What a wonderful poem. I really love this. I love the way you say you are "not" all these things, just yourself, and that is good enough. Great job with this one.


  • Sandygram silver member
    January 17, 2007
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    Gave Me A Big Smile

    Hi fallower, You do come up with some terrific characters. Enid sounds like alot of us women who get overlooked even though they have so much to offer. This was brilliant and such a pleasure to read. Take care, Sandy


  • pattyann4500
    January 15, 2007

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    I do believe I shall love Enid Brittleseed! She's real and lovely and wonderful, and what a refreshing character! hugs, Patricia


  • willyd903
    January 15, 2007
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    great! i love "I'm not a surreal master painter
    that moonlights as a cabbie." i love it.


    • chills gold member
      February 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      yep, that line was the very epitome of chic. And that comment was nothing but awful pretentious... but I mean it, the line you chose was soooooo very very very.... the quote to end all quotes.


  • Rose Angel gold member
    January 15, 2007

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    I like Enid Brittleseed series...You have amused me, with this series..It will occupy you for quite awhile! It seems you are bringing out a point here...that we ladies at home have this feeling of insignificance because we are at home...I like that truth coming out..Many of us live quite fufilled lives,and contribute to the community...I just love Enid(it was never my favorite name, nor Daphne either) but a name does not make a person..Character, does...I want to compliment you on your creative,clever series..No one else yet is doing it, and I say Bravo! Also for the poem on your home page..Reminds one of a mixture of King Kong, and the phobia about having safe shelters in the days of the Cuban missile crisis in 1962! Keep up the good work with dear Enid!


  • The Poetic Angel
    January 15, 2007

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    amazing !!! wonderful!!! fantastic!!! i love this bigbro... "im just me" i always say that it one of me fav ...smiles lilsis x0x0x000x0x0x

1 - 43 of 43