My heart beats in my chest like the sun beats the ground
My mind questions my soul, my soul answers with questions
My head spins in a whirlwind of uncompromising thoughts
My mouth wants to say the words I long to hear from past time...
I shake, I tremble though nothing is wrong
Seeming I'm scared, I don't know where I belong
Wanting to go one way, not wanting to turn around
Living on life as though I may actually fall down...
Time after time, dreams fly from where I was headed
I lost sight of what was and what things I dreaded
Losing love, losing faith, walking alone in the dark
I can't keep track of my now broken down heart...
Knowing I must express the things I once felt
Not knowing how to relate the the things I now feel
Can't keep track of time, I swear I'm losing my mind
As dark falls again, one more day is left behind...
My dreams running on empty, oil of the heart running low
Living as though life is a highway; I know I can't go
Running from my past, gazing at what is to come
Knowing that someday my dreams now will not be so...
I chase all my fears into the shadows of the light
I live all my memories without showing my fright
Flashbacks that show my most fretful, lost nights
I suddenly realize I no longer know what is right...
So I now must end with a very brief explanation
I know where I stand, and all the temptation
Even though my mind runs in circles around my heart
I must not give in, just find a new start...
Author notes
This was done on the brink of tears after a very confusing night....
How would these phrases sound at beginnings of poems when expanded?
Comments
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Expressive
The past or future does not happen outside of our minds. Sometimes its good to write down what comes out of our hearts and minds and reflect upon it, learn from it if possible and then its time to walk on. Although its not possible to live in the now moment all the time, this can somtimes help us a lot too as it helps us to savour life...so my tip is to do this when you can. I enjoyed reading your self-expressions here. Thanks for your sharing.
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This is beautiful and so deeply heartfelt...a lovely song in the works to me...you have a future so strong and a will to match...Do not let the past drag you down, deal with it and move on to the beauty the future holds for you...you need to write more...
you are missed...
Love
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I love a poem about writing! I think it is something very difficult to tackle and I think you did an extraordinary job! Its a beautiful poem, and the flow is outstanding! Awesome!!!
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"I chase all my fears into the shadows of the light." These lines show that writing is an exposure of oneself. I enjoyed the metaphors(living life as a highway). It's so true that no matter how long you write you still learn new things.
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no way!!!
wow...now you got me tearing up...i feel a definite connection here Bubble, i really do. i feel the same way. i feel like everything you were saying in this poem was talking about me. youve really given me some hope
haha. its hard to know how sincere or honest some one is being just throught the letters on your computer screen but i really feel something here.
i really loved the piece. wow.
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wow. It took me in. great write. I can really relate to it as I'm sure so many others can. This is awesome. All there is to say is WOW. (:
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wow, well im sure you can find people who can relate to these types of feelings. the end verse, i must not give ikn, just find a new start really got to me. thats a great verse, i loved this poem..
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Wow
The feelings of confusion and being lost astound me. I can feel the dark kind of kalaidescope of emotion that makes my heart pound along with you. excellent job!!!!!!!! Kira -
thats lovely!
nice flow. prolly cuz it seems you werent trying too hard.
hmm
im not too fond of the ending, but thats simply because it ends happily
and whenever i am confronted with that same feeling, it doesnt end happy. it ends apathetic
i suppose it changes between people, eh?
lovely. i like your choice of words ,too.
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this is an amazing write.. and after reading the author's notes... i commend you, because when youre confused, its the hardest time to remember anything that comes to mind. and when you do it tends to be the person's best work
hope to see more of your writing, its amazing
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Just playing with this piece.
ground
questions
thoughts
time...
wrong
belong
around
down...
headed
dreaded
dark
heart...
felt
feel
mind
behind...
low
go
come
so...
light
fright
nights
right...
explanation
temptation
heart
start...
Perhaps a poem within a poem? Just playing with your words. Liked the flow and message. Well done.
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Very powerful emotion in this, strange how confusion can end up manifesting itself in such a beautiful release. great piece of work dear niece.
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Awesomeness
This is just great. I can relate to this in many ways. I had a hard time getting into what you were writing at first but as I read along I found myself enjoying your write more and more. Ironically, considering the subject, I had a smile on my face by the end of the poem!!!
That is because I enjoyed reading something I have been feeling---seeing these vague thoughts put sharply into focus on the page was an awesome experience.
It's like you are writing for me!!!
I can't help but note that intense emotion fuels many a poet ---and that many a poet has intensity of feeling...depth of feeling---good or bad---but it's the bad (sad) feelings that most often end up at the end of the pen and the beginning of the page. lol
This is just great....
and yeah, don't give in---get a new start....life's a beach and then you die....so ya might as well surf the waves and realize you may not end up where you thought you would nor even in the same state of mind. Does it matter....really? the stuff we're doing as we travel a bit haphazardly and a bit insecurely is what the travel is all about, lol, not the arriving . (as if I have ever arrived anywhere)
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I LOVE THIS POEM!!!! it has some much feeling to it that i can relate to and poems the can make me cry really impress me!!! if u don mind u should take a look at my last three poems and if time permits scim through then all let me know on a couple what u think of mine!!! but i'm going to try to add u on my favorites i really think looking at ur poem will help me to get through one of the most diffcult longest times of my life!!!!
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Very good. I've spotted one small typo: brief, instead of breif in the final verse. Keep writing, it can be very therapeutic, and a good way of clarifying thoughts. Well Done.
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So many things going on in this poem - some dark moments and some puzzling questions you are seeking answers to here. Writing is a good way to get things out and try to find answers. sentiments well expressed in these lines - you must not give in - just find a new start.
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