Let others say that I have lived a life unjust
Walked paths not mine to tread
Say you whose legacies fade to dust
That I have spent a life misled
Regrets, shade not my future's flaws
Let love be my burdened load
Give me no time to pine and pause
Ahead there lies a virgin road
Set aside ideals to accept a journey cursed
As I lay down my life's last lease
Let my memories do their worst
For I have felt my peace
different. bad or good?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Bravo
Oh, this IS incredibly excellent! Just wonderful, crisp, clean and twice potent and poignant! Superb..I absolutely loved this poem...BRAVO!!!!!
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Good, definitey good.
very nice poem. Ahead there lies a virgin road is a wonderful line. the concept of a path that no one has traveled yet is a superb thought!
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I think that the ending brings a tranquil feeling to this and that maybe the cursed journey was the one you needed to be on...well written.
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nice.
i like this. i like how it rhymes (and heres a stretch) make sense at the same time... im glad there are people who can make things sound good and have a rhythm/rhyme and at the same time have a good, clear message and make perfect sense. congratulations your one of those people.
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Hmmm. sounds kind of out of your normal style but still very good. The last two lines an omage of sorts? it hink so. sounds like somthing that youd read in a dusty old book titled "the 54 best poems ever written" idk why i picked 54. Its just vague enough to confuse all the dumbass wannabes out here but specific enough to still mean somthing to all those who know you all to well. im sure glad i have walking talking insperation just a phone call away. speaking of witch its been too long. any way this things amazing and so are you.<3
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It HAS been too long!!! Awh *tear*. CALL ME! Or I'll call you. Whatever.
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holy crap.
your going to be in crative writing class next year right?
cause if not ill have to kill you.
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I love the flow in this and I agree with The previous comment about it having just a bit missing. This is very powerful and you reach out to the reader very well.
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You've almost got a whole Shakespearean sonnet here; all that's missing is the rhyming couplet at the end.
This is such a powerful form, and it enhances the poem soooo well! I think I can honestly put this in my top ten favourite poems of all time, right up there with "Anyone Lived in a Pretty How Town" by Cummings and this one poem by W.C. Williams about plums.
I can relate to this pretty well, as a homosexual male in a primarily elderly, considerably religious Florida town.
Damn. I'm impressed.
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*loves you a lot*
thank you!
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