remote trails sell eternity.
self love, renowned calamity,
riddles among the children's graves,
alone are lost, alone are saved.
temporal recluse diversion
still halt swiftly by ghosts of lore
in cold collision with the dead,
carved stones stand, sentiment's adore
lives that matter in short time;
patient mortals, to give what's mine.
waned wretched weeping wake,
spirits dance, the body breaks
to tears of sacred sorrow.
what thoughts we own, we borrow.
when I knew of your existence,
blind presence met with resistance
that burns all of my futile thoughts
where all of my ramblings will rot.
cemetery lies, frosted fire
claims the myth of sweet desire.
specter slashes haughty science,
poet humbled, proud reliance.
God grants glimpses of the unknown
to cast aside when truth is shown.
my will, my will, vanity destroyed
self perception, beautiful void;
still I search for sanity again
always anxious about the end.
A contest entry
- I HAVE MISSED YOU ALL!!! (For My Favorites.) by delightfulmess.
300 points, ended October 13, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 49 of 49
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So beautifully dark.
And so eloquant. I read this 3 times and
each time I found more.
You are truely and amazing poet my friend.
Delila
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Dark...beautifully written! Loved so many lines deeply!
cemetery lies, frosted fire
claims the myth of sweet desire.
specter slashes haughty science,
poet humbled, proud reliance.
This is just wondrous!!!
Blessings~
Az
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"riddles among the children's graves,
alone are lost, alone are saved"
This line was particulary chilling. This piece is haunting, it stills the soul and centers its focus solely on the poetry before it. You weave the darker emotions in the humans' repertoire just as flawlessly and effortlessly as you do the cadences of sensuality. This is a humbling piece, both a prayer and a cry out to whoever may be listening. Riveting!
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A Poets Prayer
I sought out your poetry looking for inspiration and found it.
This poem shows what I’m starting to discover; that poetry isn’t just mere words but ideas and free thought. I think the last stanza, “God grant glimpses of the unknown …” contains a lot of truth.
Thanks for posting this, I will read it often.
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You never disappoint me!
Consistent with your brilliance, this poem makes me smile and admire! 
"Poet humbled... 
Love that line.
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Excellent
Such a somber piece. Filled with wonderful alliteration as you are so adept at. I felt such a need for clarity in this piece. That need to go back to bliss - innocence - the not knowing - after having had a glimpse of what is yet to be. No peace was felt within the vision. Such Anxiety in Death. Superb writing my friend. ~Pamela
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God grants glimpses of the unknown
to cast aside when truth is shown.
mostly a glimpse is all we need
thank you for these words
Riftkin -
This was a very good poem and once again i have a contest that is going to be very difficult to judge because of fine works like this.
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such an awesome job with such a great vocabulary. I think that your reads always shine with talent and insight. this is just a vivid write with such great details. Love, Cherry
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I get so distracted by rhyme that I cannot understand what I've read, so I'm sure I'll read this again when I'm more focused. But for now, all I can say, is that the rhyme is perfect.
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hauntingly spectacular!
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Immortality can mean many a thing... To me, it's having no feeling at all. Nothing to do with life or death, just... Well, just having no human feeling at all. Wonderful use of vocabulary, so very enchanting!
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Ok, so I really like this.
You used alot of writing techniques that I like.
#1.Alliteration.
"waned wretched weeping wake"
I looked at that, and went "woah!"
#2.I like your rhyming pattern.
And for #3...Your vocabulary is quite beyond what I was expecting. I liked it ALOT, for it showed your true writing ability.
I truly LOVED this write, and I'll be looking for more poetry by you.
Good luck in my contest!
-System of Cyanide -
I like this! I loved you last two stanzas, very powerful.
Thank you for your entry,
Best of luck!
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I liked the flow of the words, the rhyming worked out well, it's as easy to make a poem with rhyme, as it is to break it, which I'm sure you know..
"that burns all of my futile thoughts
where all of my ramblings will rot." the latter line reads out of synch with the former, to me, it feels as though there should be another two syllables. Just a random thought. (you know I'm grasping at straws when I'm counting syllables..)
This is very powerful and emotional. "my will, my will, vanity destroyed.
my perception, beautiful void;" this seems so desperate and final.
I enjoyed this, very well-written with powerful word usage..
Thanks for taking the time to enter, sorry about the delay in judging, best of luck.
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Very, very intense and very, very powerful. Absolutely enjoyed this from beginning> end. Wonderful. Thanks for entering.
~Ryan~ -
Fine writing!
Certainly a poem of value... well done, poet!
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Wicked
The lines "cemetery lies, frosted fire;
claim the myth of sweet desire" were beautiful to read, as were countless others. All in all, this one was somewhat eerie for whatever reason, but an absolute great write.
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This is quite tremendous,i had to look up a few of the words to get them in the right context,but this is a terrific poem and well deserved gold trophy!The fourth stanza reads like a mysterious incantation.The fear of death so intricately woven in dark patterns.Very good
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I stand by my previous comment, the fourth stanza is wonderful, along with the specter line!
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Bloody Brilliant
Holy dear. This was bloody amazing. I really like the language and the way you pulled the emotion right out of it. really well done!!!
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oh wow...
this does deserve gold by far!
this is such a great piece!...perfection.
lovely words you used and properly too; the rhyming was above normal as well.
your words drew me in with the amazing imagry and feelings.
thanks for the share, i have to bookmark this masterpiece!
keep writing my friend,
xoxo
♥ Lynn
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Amazing. You have written an awesome poem to express what I'm sure many must feel when facing death. I loved these lines, and a chill still runs through me as I write them down: waned wretched weeping wake,
spirits dance, the body breaks
to tears of sacred sorrow.
what we think we own, we borrow.
Congratulations on the Gold, it was well deserved!
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Personally, I think death is something that should be embraced and not feared, but for those people who do fear death, I am pretty sure this is exactly the way that they look at it. This was very thought provoking for me and I love it when a poem can make me stop and think about the way I really view things. Keep up the good work.
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WOW! I think we all fear death, can't say for sure . And to read a write such as this confirms we are human and have such fears, The anxiety over death is so very true. I believe that in our darkest hour that we are shown our mistakes and our greatness. and it all happens before we rest. great piece. thank you for sharing.
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Good poem
sums it up, perplexed ANXIETY. I fear death but as prayerfully I get older and wiser I am learning to let it go and not be as afraid. Flip knows what happens to those who have no faith. I am very blessed but without faith, love and hope how do these peeps live this what can be an awful life? Death where is thy sting. Trust and be vindicated. God bless. Mary xoxo thank you for this read.
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Outstanding, as always. I love how you always seem to flawlessly alliterate. Does it all just spill out of your head like that, or do you only make it seem that easy?
I'm not one for rhyme, but I liked what you did with the scheme of this poem. Again, a usual stunning write. -
Very well written! I'm speachless...it's that good! well done! and keep it up!
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AWESOME
I CAN SEE WHY YOU GOT THE GOLD TROPHY. YOU HAVE CONGERED UP AN AWESOME PIECE OF POETIC PENNING.
POETDONTKNOWIT -
I see you have won the gold Congratulations. A well deserved win Your lines unfold revealing many layers dark and with depth for the read to take the vividly portrayed picture you paint...ponder on the thoughts you raise...then take them to their own life for further reflection. This is a very well crafted poem.thank you for the pleasure
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very cool. it reminded me fo the massacre of the indians in the 1870's. but that could simply be because we are studying that laately. had real dark vibe to it. the ryhme scheme seemed inconsitent at times though.
Good Write and God Bless
Pastoral Poet
Ben B. -
really good
i think that this poem is great you are a wonderfull righter
there is alote of big words though that means your smart you will never see a big word in any of my poems -
cemetery lies, frosted fire;
claim the myth of sweet desire.
specter slashes haughty science;
poet humbled, proud reliance.
Just great words ... it seems that the secret book of deep poetry is opened and being unfold by the poet in just beautiful words of the expressions..the secrets are not as important as we are here but its presentations with the relevance of everyone of us relating its meaning is more focused attempt here which is the strength of this great poetry...The immages are just like the magic deals and briniging a kind of fascination in every line and the impact is just miraculous as well..Indeed a intriguing write...
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Very Nice (Depressing but nice)
I really liked this poem. It is very well written and has a nice beat to it. (And a Gold Trophy Winner, impressive) In any case I liked it very much, and have no gripes or growls about it. Certainly it's a thought invoking peice (My favorite part was the "What We Think We Own, We borrow" line) I liked the atmosphere it had about it, kind of a spooky air (Remind me not to read it on equally spooky nights. Nightmares!) Anyways keep up the good work! -
Ah. Never fun to be confused and befuddled by any situation. Sometimes ending a situation is the only way to walk away with any kind of clarity, sadly.
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I enjoy the alliteration. Not always do we find this used well. Grave stones and their messages bring thoughts that are seldom shared. You did this very well. It is a poem that might serve well for a classroom discussion or any gathering of serious people. Please accept my applause.
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Phenomenal
I have to say that there is no favorite part within this write ... No point supercedes the others. They are all magnificently portrayed. The imagery is astounding the rhyme superb the flow easy and smooth. I loved this piece and am very glad I got the op to read it. Thank you for such an inspiring write.
~Breathless
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Oy-
Powerful verse You have penned my Friend and
love the rhyme -flow so smoothly off the tongue~~
Many images seen and felt in the Mind~
but that is how it should be~
Thank You for sharing Your Talent!
Congratulations on Your Trophy win
Many blessings to You
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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awesome
This poem had alot of fealing put into each and every word I felt deeply touched by this poem I hope to read more poems from you as good as this one was
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waned wretched weeping wake,
spirits dance, the body breaks
to tears of sacred sorrow.
what we think we own, we borrow.
fantastic words here. You are an excellent writer. Such power in your words, nothing fancy just straight forward no bull shit words...Superb
Becky -
wow your poem blew me away i loved it, i can;t wait to read more of your work, i love to see what inspires other people to write such wonderful pieces of work, keep up the good work
raffles xx
p.s i say that poetry is our gift to the worl
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Darn you are good!!! Smiles, Terry
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That was really good
THat had great meaning and the rhythm was awsome, great work
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Awesome
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So fine... have some favorites lines!
"What we think we own, we borrow." Like that very much, and the fourth stanza, entirely! Always glad to see your poetry!
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Very nice poem, nice flow, and I especially love the alliteration in line 11. Good peice!
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Excellently done, the fourth stanza is just wonderful, especially the line "specter slashes haughty science". Good luck in contest!
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really good
you are a really good wrighter maby you can give me some tips because i am not very good at righting unless i have good insperation
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a good piece, a good flow and atmosphere roaming here.
i thank you kindly for entering your poetic piece and good luck to you in this contest - spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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