When forever had finally ended, as
she had always suspected it would,
and he had left her shattered pieces
to scatter in the wind, she fell
to her knees in the middle of
the road and cut them on the
shards of her heart. She surrendered herself
then to the twilight and found eyes only
for the putrid pink and purple
sunset, the colors of her blood
as it mingled with her tears in the dust
and gravel.
She realized then, as all
the color leaked out of her
world through her wounded
knees and soul, that perhaps
giving him her entire mind and
body
might not have been the smartest choice
to make, and that maybe they
had been right in telling her
that self respect doesn’t grow
under silken sheets like the movies say.
In fact, there had been no
silk at all. She remembered that
vividly now as night drowned
her in its complete absence of color. No silk or
fireworks, and definitely no
sunrises in her heart, because somewhere
she had gotten the notion
that she could cultivate love.
With a sigh, she eventually
rose to her feet and lifted
her chin. The moon
bathed her in its gentle ambience
and knew she would prevail against the
blackness, because she had to.
And to prove it, she stooped
to pluck a bouquet of purple
and pink flowers that had
blossomed at her feet.
Author notes
The original title was "Sex", which is is a lot more teenage angsty, but I think this title leaves the poem more open for interpretation. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it.
Lots of Options, Lots of Types of Poetry, Lots of Stuff for you! Contest: option 2
A contest entry
- Prewrites Galore and Nothing More by HerbalGoat.
300 points, ended February 22, 2007, 66 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I see this as a young girls emotions after her "first time". And how alot of times they build it up so high in their minds that when it finally happens they are disappointed. Well written!!!!
~DAWN~ -
Amazing
You're correct in saying that the title of "Sex" would be more teenage angsty. I loved your imagery, and I loved that your flow was almost as perfect as can be (which sounds awkward the way I have written it). Your words are beautiful and meaningful. Thanks for entering, and good luck.
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Outstanding!
Poignant piece, love the imagery, flowed well.
My favorite lines: "With a sigh, she eventually
rose to her feet and held her head high." Nice work.
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Wow... very interesting. So much goes on in this, it's incredible, and the imagery is very potent and surreal. I loved reading it, even though it's not what I was after in the contest.
EDIT: The title intrigues me... why did you chose it instead of the morning after?
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Breathtaking
wow....
You captured such a tenderly painful moment of awakening. Every line is a masterpiece and I can't pick out a single favorite line. The words trickle down the page just as her tears trickle to the dusty ground.
Keep writing and I look forward to reading more of your work.
Bravo!
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wow your poem blew me away i loved it, i can;t wait to read more of your work, i love to see what inspires other people to write such wonderful pieces of work, keep up the good work
raffles xx
p.s i say that poetry is our gift to the worl
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This was very deep. I think you did a great job and the flow was awesome. The best of luck to you in the contest.
Kari -
Wow, Darling. You've done it again. You can really capture life when you want to. Gratz, Jamie.
<3 Elia
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