The scent of smoke that filled the air
The scent of fear inlay every soul
The feel of burning consuming everything
The feel of pain running through every inch of me
The sight of of fire dancing so threateningly
The sight of it's flare reaching out to bite
The sound of terror as I'm consumed by it's wrath
The sound of flames laughing mockingly
The taste of bitterness lay upon my lips
The taste of tears shed from my eyes
Now all is gone
No fragrance for me to smell
No texture will grace my fingers with it's presence
No image for me to see
No noise for me to hear
No delicacy for me to taste
No nothing for I am on to eternal rest
Author notes
A person is caught in a fire. All her life she made observations of everything. Using her five senses she makes note of everything thats happening before she burns to ashes.
A contest entry
- ANY THING by serenity silvermoon.
430 points, ended May 10, 2007, 145 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Be Inspired by Your Senses... by harriet567.
450 points, ended October 6, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I liked this, I don't understand her burning to ashes in the Authors note. Do you mean after she has already died? Every one makes note through observations, this is what the senses are for. Some do it more than others for whatever reason, be it a job, a for self made purposes.
I have a tendency to do this. But have never done it for the wrong purpose, maybe you meant that in your poem/notes?
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this was a great poem
I loved it. -
I like the repitition you had on the first words words there, it made the poem flow pretty well I think.
I'm not sure I really like this poem, it's good, probably brilliant, but I just think that it's not about what you say it's about. It sounds more like the transcient nature of life and death rather than a person burning alive. She'd be screaming in pain, it'd be pure agony, and that doesn't really come through in this poem. It sounds dark, it sounds beautiful, but it doesn't sound real. It's more thoughts than senses, and I just think that somebody being burned alive would be cursing and weeping and screaming in agony.
However, even though you may not have meant to you captured our view of death exceedingly well.
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Scary
I suppose that is what it would feel, look, smell, taste and sound like. I have seen fires, but never anyone caught in them. I have had small burns and they are terribly painful, I would never want to get a large burn and I know you wouldn't either! The last stanza is my favorite, it is so sweet and sad. What an imagination you have
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