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Yin Yangs On Sweet Caustic Winds

Yin Yangs On Sweet Caustic Winds

Benevolence whispers; cold in night. Like winter’s sweet fumigatory wind.
A faint moan, a window tinted in winter breath.
Standing outside a house, inhaling. Watch your breath slowly float away.
And we’ll fall down in the night, catching oxygen.

Philanthropists run, dog-tired against ice winds and burning cold snow.
Unknown to anyone they don’t serve, because of mere consistency.
Unknown because of the small numbers,
Tiny dollars float away in scarce hurricanes.

In these same wintry winds walks a man.
Slowly home, after a long day at work.
And he sees a homeless man, dressed in rags, shivering.
And he cannot help but wrap his coat around the man.

Malevolence caustically mutters back, what a monotonous duet.
Tied and twisted inconsistency reeks off this page.
Generic contradictions loom in ere of written words.
Xylophones clink a malevolent tune, in a room, sounds inset.

A pallid and godly face, stares down, from safe haven.
Muttering curses from diseased purple lips.
His sordid alleys permit murder and rape.
And look at all the people cheering, look at them cheer.

Twisted in two strands; a melodic double helix.
Split-ends’ chaotic writhing rock, on the edge of a symphonic clink.
Will it be the note on which society ends?
Will it be good or bad, and does it matter?

Author notes

Good and evil, pure and simple.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • h202
    February 1, 2008

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    at first i didn't want to dig through this but the ending kind of sealed the deal for me. really that last line. it's not terribly complex but i find it refreshing and interesting to see that thought, be it stated a little plainly. so then i went back through it and this is pretty good. most of it is pretty original and interesting to interpret but a few parts not so much. "burning cold snow" to me just seems a worn out phrase for a poem. thanks for entering.


  • sarajaneUK
    December 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    You have some super imagery in this, well worthy of the gold. Congratulations. sj


  • lust in a grenade
    May 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i like it very discriptive my favorite would have to be watching your breathe slip away

  • disparate
    February 18, 2007

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    The imagery in this was fantastic, and your vocabulary usage. The Godly image from heaven is what really struck me, it was very well done, and quite different from the Godly images I've seen other poets write about.

    The spin on good and evil and everything you put into this just made me think.

    "Malevolence caustically mutters back, what a monotonous duet." My favourite line, definately a quote for the ages.

    Thanks for taking the time to enter, I'm sorry about the length of time it took for me to post a comment on your poem. Best of luck!


  • Lj-
    February 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very well written.


    My favorite part was:

    "A pallid and godly face, stares down, from safe haven.
    Muttering curses from diseased purple lips.
    His sordid alleys permit murder and rape.
    And look at all the people cheering, look at them cheer."



    Thank you for your entry,
    Good luck!


  • SmileFromGlasgow
    January 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Yeah, for those, I used the last sound of the previous line, to start the next line, which is how xylophones were introduced to the poem, and then, them obvious ABCA rhyme...


  • Tweedle Dum
    January 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Dang. Deep, thoughtful, unique, interesting...and well you got an awesome way of expressing thoughts. I loved this part..it was just...amazingly cool..

    "Tied and twisted inconsistency reeks off this page.
    Generic contradictions loom in ere of written words.
    Xylophones clink a malevolent tune, in a room, sounds inset."

    Imaginentive and sort of catchy in a way...best of wishes~

    -Sense of Nothing~
    Inanonsense

1 - 7 of 7