We start as friends
We loved to the end
Of our fragile lives
Our bones now gone
Our life a flaw
Of are undying lies
Were now a ghost
Were now a host
Of our party of love
We grabbed a chair
We had our share
Of un-hopeful trust
So tell me the truth
The Ungrateful truth
Of how we start to love
Well have a seat
You bridged beast
I share with you the love
It started has friends
The Undying friends
The ones that care to share
Then we turned
A twistful turn
And now we had our share
What Starts as a lie
Ends In a lie
Where It starts as
The Dawn Of Dead Love
So heres the life lesson
Of lies and ties
I hope you all will know
It starts friends
We love to the end
Till The Dawn Of Dead Love
A contest entry
- Options, options, options (ages 12-17only) by wolfcub.
450 points, ended January 14, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want to Feel The Fiery Passion by EternalFyre.
450 points, ended February 20, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Nice poem, I can relate to the whole friends and lovers theme. Good luck in the contest!
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Welcome to Allpoetry!
I think your poem has a lot of promise and I certainly wish you lots of luck in your contest but it might serve you well to have someone help you edit this a little. You seem to have a great many spelling errors that could hinder your ability to win a trophy should you be in the running. It’s wonderful to see a creative mind put to use.
I am so glad you have chosen Allpoetry as the place to share your talent. I encourage you to wander around and become familiar with all the wonderful features we have here. There are also many writing groups and contests and even online classes that you can become a part of here at Allpoetry so welcome aboard and if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact any greeter online! 
(`'•.¸(`'•.¸ ¤ ¸.•'*)¸.•'*)
~~~Touchof1der~~~
( , .•'(¸.•'´ ¤ `'•.¸
`'•.*)
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There are quite a few spelling mistakes in here, but apart from that, a really good write. I don't particularly like the rhymes, but the poem is generally well-structured, and there are some nice words.
Thankyou for entering
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