All men dream.
But would all men dream the way I do,
if they dreamt along side of you;
Would all men view what I see at night,
when I hold you
hold me tight?
All men love.
But would all men love the way I do,
if they fell in love with you;
Would all men view the sights I see,
when I look at you
look at me?
All men live.
But would all men live the way I do,
If they shared their life with you;
Would all men view this love I see,
as I love you
love me?
Feel free to comment..and please read my other work..
Comments
1 - 42 of 42
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Awe. This is simply lovely. the first "you - me" confused me a bit, then I read on and realized what you were doing. I like that concept. Questions used in poetry is stepping into a ground of "i hope this works." It works for you well. From what I can see, this looks like a finished peice.
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The phrasing of the last two lines is confusing. Did you mean, "as I love you/loving me?"
Interesting form/setup for this. I like the way it flowed and it's very interesting. Something about the phrasing makes it reminiscent of a Beatle's song to me.
Thanks for entering. -
Well done, well done.
First let me say that there was alot of emotion and depth to this.. however, my question is the repetative questions, to me they throw it off. In all three stanzas the question seems to be in the wrong line. Maybe move it up like so...
Would all men view what I see at night,
when I hold you?
Would all men view the sights I see,
when I look at you?
Would all men view this love I see,
as I love you?
That to me sounds better...just my thoughts.
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
The queried questions of love flow well in your poem. I enjoyed the repeating,"But would all men" theme you created here. Thanks for your entry.
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'Tis good but could be better, you should work on this a little, but otherwise this is a beautiful piece.
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So soft and yearning, I loved this piece it really captures need and want and love., hugs, Bunny
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Two Thumbs Up!
Uhmmmm...I fell in love with this poem
I melted, it made me weak...
This is a romantic one...I can relate to the words and feelings of the poet a very moving well written poem a pleasure to read. YOU ARE A GOOD POET AND HAVE BEAUTIFUL WORDS TO SAY.....
You know, I sometimes find myself daydreaming But the author of this poem really hit home. This is simple and sweet digs deep into ones heart.
Keep the words coming...I Am Lovin It" ) keep it real. It rocks...I smile
Good luck!
~~~GRACE~~
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cleverly structured, but it is the content that tugs at my heart. I love romantic poetry when done well, and this, sweet Poet, is done very well.
Love, Lane
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I like the way this poem has been structured, it pleases the eye. It could be used as lyrics to a song and put to music.
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Excellent Writing
Great, Terrific. Enjoyed greatly, as usual.
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not all men write like this! you're a one of a kind writer. soo lovely my friend
GBY
Silverbutterfly
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Beautiful!!!
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sigh...not much else I can say but move you up to the finalists...read it again, and sigh some more. thank you for this entry.
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amazing.
I wish a man could write like this for me. This is an amazing write. I am glad I took the time to read it.
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Amazing you may think but this poem is really worth something. Very Kipling in nature but with a tender touch. Its predictible but it's good
David
http://allpoetry.com/Mark%20Rickerby
this guy may be a kindred spirit
And just so you know the other poems I have read bored me shitless!!
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Delightful
I loved the pattern used with your repetition of lines at the end of each stanza. Very cleverly done and it creates such an impact. Nice nice love poem. A pleasure to have read and enjoyed today. ~Pamela
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My sis Cannonsfire said you were wonderful, so I had to stop by and read something of yours and she was correct as usual. The piece is beautiful Mat, lovely flow and form, but it is the emotion that drives this piece into the heart. Excellent piece, loved it, hugs, Bunny
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Homerun, touchdown and anything else that I can metaphorically come up with...to tell you this has wonderful impact to it....sighs......I keep re-reading the last stanza...it could stand alone....its the winning shot..the clencher...great job!
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so sweet- a beautiful sentiment-
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My compliments Mat, It just doesn't get much better than this! The last two lines in each stanza drive home the message with a powerfully sweet impact. It's so darned good that I wish I'd have thought of it first! What a pleasure you have penned here Brother. It will drive your love, and I'm sure a few other of the lasses, wild! Well done! T
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This is such a loving piece..sighs...If only all men knew the value of such a love as you have clearly shown us all ...
Beautiful..
Thank you for sharing
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I know I would search my whole life for someone who could explain their love as well as you do and I would wait a lifetime too lol, still searching but at least I can read your words and sigh happily for a little while
Love, C
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Mat,please accept my apologies,only after starting to read did I recall reading and commenting before on this piece of poetry expressing the depth of love,will refund the points used to promote so that you may canvas another opinion instead of two of mine,Yvette
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Good write
You've found Love like 'This'?!!
There is lots of appreciation showered throughout this piece...profoundly expressed. Keep it up!
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GOOD!!!
Great write... great imagery, wonderful articulation. Its both enjoyable as a leisure read and yet, it makes u think. Keep writing.
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Wow
Absolutely incredible write. Passionate and thought provoking. I loved every word of this piece. I would have to say this is by far the best poem I've read all night. It feels like there is a lot behind this poem in love and life. Bravo!!
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wow
I can tell this was written from the depths of one's soul. To be loved like this is something I believe we all dream of. Very artistically written, with passion and love. A pleasure to read.
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All women would love to have words such as these whispered to them, Poet. All men AND all women search for such depths of love to bind their wounds, heal their shattering hearts. I agree with Di; it should be in a contest somewhere. Be well, Poet. Wanda
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P,S why is this not in a comp, many would love it and it would have a good chance of winning one of those shiny things that collect dust,lol, hugs
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Hi, this is a very lovely romantic poem and I am a sucker for romance, too little of it in the world today, whoever she is she is a lucky lady to be loved like this, a pleasure to read,hugs Di
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This is beautiful...love is magic...I like the way you wonder...nice work..thanks for sharing
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A piece of poetry which expounds the individuality of love given in it's truest form,from the heart,and so true that all men dream,live and love and that when the spirit connects to the spirit with equal level love,oh,tis the most beautiful thing,beyond words or artistry of paints,on a vibration of it's own composing,a piece of poetry that was tender but with intensity that was felt by the reader.
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Wow, that was so very... beautiful. Many men cannot convey their feelings in such an honest and deeply sincere sort of way. This is a truly lovely sentiment; with a great form and flow to boot. Excellent penning!
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Very nice, very simple. I like how you end each verse with a question it almost seems like a proposal of some sort. Very sweet, I enjoyed.
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WOW!
This I think is the best one since Starlight Girl! YOU ARE SO AMAZING! If you wrote this looking for someone to fall in love, it totally worked! Great write, Mat, you are totally awesome. My favorite part is "If they dreamt alongside of you". SO SWEET! This made my heart sink to the floor and then spring back up again. Awesome write.
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Brilliant.
I've been away a while so just thought I would check out what you have been up to lately and am glad I did. This is a fantastic piece of writing you have here. So romantic and so well put together. Well done and greetings from Portadown. Claire
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I do like your style. Very nice work. I hope you'll read one of mine.
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Wow...so beautiful...wounderful write....i never see many men write poetry...i love it when i do find a man that can open up his heart and write down how he feels...i really love this poem its very romantic....
Jammi -
Truly Amazing!
But would all men love the way you do
If they shared your point of view?
Good golly, Mat! If you were able to infuse even a miniscule portion of your being into the minds and hearts of other men, this world would be a more beautiful place.
And women, every where, would thank you...
Profusely.
[grin]
You are an amazing man. Just thought I'd mention that in case I didn't get my point across very well there. [big smile]
A beautiful poem that makes us (women-folk) feel positively envious of your object of affection.
Catch me now, love, I'm going to swoon.
Oh darn, I can't. I'm married.
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Would they?
A beautiful piece of writing, women surely dream of a man like this who cherishes them and their love and don't take them for granted!
Words cannot adequately convey the effect of such precious words and sentiments...for me I guess, anyway.
Makes one stop, think, dream, wish, believe...
..seeing through 'all men', to one like this...
Lucky girl! I love the romance and passion in every word!
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Amazing
I love this. The way you put your loved one as the focal of each stanza and how your dreaming, loving, are all because of her. And then the finale, the quiet, sweet, yearning question, love me? wow. this was definately amazing.
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awwwwwwwwwww this is soooooo very pretty!!!
it was so beautiful... it made me jealous of whoever inspired this to be written!
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