Hello you:
Baker's daughter
Bake my heart
Bake my mind
Let's go ride
them bikes and
take them shoes
off; make me a
cake
Bake them jeans
Bake them hats
Did I mention-
What was that?
Do that again-
lets bathe in
the colours;
Once more, once
more, let's run
past newstands
and scream at
grown-ups;
You can giggle
and I can do
that cheeky thing-
Play them serenades:
Oh roses are red,
you're my violet,
don't blush: Bite
my lips and I'll
bite yours and
we can play,
just us-
Let them watch,
prance about, run
around;
I say
Do that again-
Author notes
[Option 2: A poem about the beauty of pregnancy/motherhood/(childhood)/womanhood" for d0ll's contest.]
[Option 2: "You And I" - Monkees for AmericanGirl2008's contest]
[Option 2 for MidniteRate's contest. P/S Well I guess you'd consider looking at love simply again! It should be innocent, cheeky and fun. We should learn from those little guys.]
[Option 2/3/5 for fruity loop's contest]
Remember those times?
http://allpoetry.com/images/ext/Contest/2336/734.jpg?1168699059
Edit: Since my free membership is over, the entire format and picture I've originally intended it for is screwed.
A contest entry
- To You... My Love by pimp daddy satin.
303 points, ended April 21, 2007, 110 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Different
I had to read this over the phone to my sister, we loved it!
Keep up good writes like this!
Good luck!
-
Thank you for taking the time to enter this contest. Best of luck to you
-
What a refreshing poem. Pleasantly different from what I've been seeing lately, a lot more happy and carefree. It flowed really well too, I particularly favoured the last stanza, I guess I'm a sucker for wordplay and love.
Well done, well written. The title definately made me think of something different, but what a pleasant surprise. I enjoyed reading this immensely, thanks for taking the time to enter.
I'm sorry about the delay in commenting, best of luck in the contest!
-
very good.
i liked the style, very cool style, bit plain but very good though out.
I liked the start cos it flowed very well, and i enjoyed it, i laughed
-p.s whats with all the contest entrys lmao?
anyhoo well done
-
Hi there,
This is quite a good poem that you have written here, though I don't really see where it actually fits the contest requirements?
anyway, thank you for taking the time to enter this
-
Awwwwww, this poem is greaaaatttt! It's so abstract in a way and yet makes great sense! The imagery, the words, the flow, everything is just so well done. Excellent job here. I am impressed with this poem. Best of luck and thank you for entering!
-
Congrats on making it to the finalists! I really enjoyed your poem =)
-
Umm
I think you entered this into enough contests... Don't you? O.o
This was definitely good, but you may be OD'ing it on contests that future contest-holders just will not reward you anymore. Not that I am saying I am going to be against you. I am giving you full chance, just some judgers might be annoyed by that. Writing newer stuff to enter into contests is nicer...
ANYWAYS... I liked this one, kinda made me picture two like, young teens running around and whatever... haha cute! Good job and good luck!
-
This wasn't exactly what I was looking for in option 2. This would have fit better as option 8, your own choice. But it was still a lovely write. Childhood is one thing that can make many people smile. I loved the simple lines and the simple words. Thank you for sharing your poem and your innocent words. Thank you for entering my contest.
-d0ll -
Very happy, fun poem! It made me smile. I like the feel of fun and carelessness in this poem. Thanks for entering my contest, and good luck!
-
Adorable piece! The lines are written as if spoken by children, one to the other, in innocent play. Lovely work. Thanks for your entry and good luck!
~Lori
-
fun write
thank you for sharing this rather fun easy flowing write with us,thank you for entering and good luck in the contest (it looks to me as though you are a contest addict ) -
Play them serenades:
Oh roses are red,
you're my violet,
don't blush: Bite
my lips and I'll
bite yours and
we can play,
just us-
Yes, I remember those times. I am living those times. I don't know if this exactly fits what I was looking for, but I don't care. I love this piece. Thank you! -
So beautiful contest is here with so much innocence and so much slickness of the muse for...A great intriguing concept is here..all the best
-
This is lovely... thank you for entering my contest!
Not what I'd expected, but very nice. I wish you lots of luck!
Keep it up!
Annie
-
I think
This brings a shower of images. I thin it flows okay but could be better. The piece is beautiful and captures the essence of the picture. The way it jumps is cute.
~Breathless
-
lol. This definitely has an interesting beat to it. I like it ..quirkey and fun. A nice break to the norm that I read here on allpoetry.
Good luck in the contest.
-
Cute
this is a very cute poem - I do like it and appreciate it even though it isn't my kind of thing.
good luck. -
cute poem .I like it. You did a good job with this. Keep it up. It wasn't exactly what I was hoping for, but it still works. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck.
love always and forever, midnite rae
aka:marissa rae
-
Splendid!
Play them serenades:
Oh roses are red,
you're my violet,
don't blush: Bite
my lips and I'll
bite yours and
we can play,
just us-
Let them watch,
prance about, run
around;
I say
First of all, this entire poem made me smile... which is such a relief, frowning takes too much energy you know? Second of all, those moments seem to go on for an eternity, if not in person then in our minds. I love this poem, it brang a tear to my eye remembering the boy I love and it also brang a smile to my face, remembering all the happy, care free, mischevious days we've had together. I love this stanza... I love it so much... you had me at 'you're my violet, don't blush:'. This is so wonderful. You did a splendid job. -
OH I really love this write. There is so much beauty within the lines you write here my friend. Thank you so much for entering my contest and for giving me a bit of fresh air...
Many blessings,
Tammy
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Wow, you've entered this poem in a lot of contests. In any case this is a very good poem. I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for entering. Good luck. Keep up the writing. God Bless!
-
Fresh and fun!
This is very cute! Fits great with the picture that was given in the contest. It feels like children skipping and giggling.
I have been tempted to enter this one too - I like the innocence of it all.
Best of luck to you. This is very good!
Cris
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