SMILE-ONCE MORE
smile caressing your lips
fondles my body in bliss
smile a glossy smile
to enliven my mind in style
smile a smile to sparkle
to enlighten my soul to dazzle
smile and smile with you
enthrone my spirit with you
smile a lustrous smile
to enrich my route awhile
smile for Heavens to bloom
smile to cast away my gloom
smile as moonlight glance
see my rhythmic dance
smile on my shoulders' wings
Oh! listen, the bird sings
smile when at its best
cast Cupid's arrow on my chest
A contest entry
- BETWEEN THE RAINDROPS - POEM INSPIRATION by maa.
521 points, ended January 29, 2007, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme Time by Kevan.
390 points, ended March 3, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Two sisters" - a celebration. by Vera Rich.
425 points, ended May 2, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn your Green Trophies into Bronze, Silver or Gold by FloridaGatorQueen.
600 points, ended June 29, 2008, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - give me what you're heart says by xoalwaysthinkingxo.
333 points, ended July 17, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GREEN TO GOLD - FOR PARTICIPANTS OF ONE OF MY FORMER CONTESTS by maa.
521 points, ended August 11, 2008, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme Time by AboveApathy.
385 points, ended October 20, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
-
i liked the uniqueness of the couplet rhyming. one doesn't see that a lot these days...
luck and love,
wesley. -
I still remember this entry to my "between the raindrops" contest, and my husband when he started to smile and to recite your poem ... we truly liked the smile you have so gracefully offered us with your words ... so wonderful ...
thank you so much,
maa
-
welcome back ! it has been some time ...
-
Beautiful. I really like this. I really have nothing bad to say about it, but I would have liked to have felt a bit more emotion. Overall it's a great read. Scoring: Creativity, 10/10-Emotion, 18/20-Structure, 10/10-wording, 15/15 overall score: a good solid 53! You are moving on! i will stay in contact with you when the next round opens up. Thank you and good luck!
-
thanks for entering and good luck
-
This is beautifully written. A smile always makes other people smile and put them in a good mood. I enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.
-
Congrats on the HM for this. It is lovely and lyrical.
-
The sentiment and spirit of this poem, purely beautiful!
Sometimes changing the vocabulary a bit and eliminating repetition will strengthen your voice and flow.
Be Well and Blessed ...
Steve
-
This is lovely! A smile does have many facets... we spend so much time trying to find them for ourselves and create them for others. Well done!
-
Sorry... although I repeatedly urged you to submit your entries in the proper format, you did not do so- and in the end I simply had to get the competition judged.
Please,in future, do read the rules properly. -
You've done a great job exploring all the diferrent aspects of a smile and its effect on us. There is nothing quite like the smile of one you love, is there?
Great rhyme. I like the way you doubled "smile" in all the first lines. It was an interesting technique.
congrats on your shiny!
-
A fine poem
It is a fine poem. Thematically, it should appeal to a reader who is under stress and cannot smile for some reason. I like the last two lines
-
what a beautiful poem! i love this! a smile-the best thing we have to share with others. you did a fantastic job with this poem keep writing. thank you for sharing this. Congrats on the honorable winner. God bless you always
-
I love smiles and this poem captures them so well into one piece....I bet no one can read this and not smile...good job!
-
A lovely Piece
Like a Make-up Kit.. Thisi s full of colors, warm and joyful.. seducing.. Keep up the good job.
-
Inspiring
Inspiring a smile in me as I read. Congrats on your honorable mention, well deserved. Beautiful penning and certainly my pleasure to read
~Tia
-
nice work
a smile is the most beautiful thing we all own
thank you for the smile
Michelle
-
Beautifully Penned
Your poem brought a smile to my lips as I was reading. This is an enjoyable poem. So many ways to smile and for so many reasons. Keep the ink flowing.
-
cute
its cute and enchanting. good luck
-
Certainly a nice love poem. I'm not in love with the rhyme scheme on this, but it's sweet and whoever it is written for I am sure appreciates it.
Good luck in the contest.
-
Really a smile poem is here...so heartfelt ans so beautiful as well... bringing the depth of the relationship between two loveful hearts .The emotions here are just stirring the mind of the readers and focusing a internal picture of the desires of the heart of yours which is just wonderful with its universal approach... a great work indeed...
-
A poem filled with the beauty of smiles, a change from the dark writes I have written....
A short poem but with the joy of happiness, I only find the repaeting of smile has taken away the smooth flow...
good luck in the contest
thank you for sharing
Tracey -
awwww... this is very cute, nice write
-
AUSOME
This poem takes smilling to another level. A joy to read. Ever look into the mirrow and see how many smiles you can make. Ever wondered what people were thinking of you when you smile at them. Ever tried to smile when you were feeling really really sad. Thinking of something funny to keep from crying. Ever tried to smile infront of an audience and froze solid and tried to smile. Great Write
-
very sweet
thank you very much for your entry in our contest ... I was smiling while I read your poem, enjoying its sweetness and the innocence of your words ... I appreciate the simplicity of your words reflecting a mind which does not search for complicated thoughts and feelings in order to express itself ... I am sure that jean-marc will like your poem ...
I wish you the best of luck in the contest,
and keep on smiling,
maa
-
Flows so well, and sends a distinct message.Most creative and thought provoking.... another beautiful piece my friend! Be blessed and thanks for sharing your incredible talent!
-
The plea for smile is well felt...yes, some of us smile to cover up sorrow. I was a long time learning to show what I really felt.
-
a good poem, aye to smiling i wish that you have good luck in this contest you have entered. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
-
It's nice but a bit too much repitition of the word smile for my liking. I know sometimes repeating is a strengthening tool but in this case, it doesn't work. Still, the emotion behind the write is wonderful to share in.
-
lovely
thank you for sharing this very sweet and lovely write with us,good luck in the contest
Adding your comment:
1 - 30 of 30
