Walking down the road bare-foot with no shoes on my feet
tasting sand between my feet. looking at the growing grass wondering should i do it and i think some more.
i thought about and i leep through the air and land face frist on the grass. and thought to my-selfthis feels good feel like no-othier grass out there.
bare-ing my feets through that hard like road were it's hot and my feet is burrning up. i looked over and saw some water once again i think but not for long i run and leeped in the air and landed feet frist.
and broke the heel of my foot
A contest entry
- Anything you want by MrCrepsley.
600 points, ended September 10, 2008, 195 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your oldest prewrite poems and my 20th contest by stargazer..
650 points, ended April 20, 417 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I hate to be that guy who tells you a mistake but, 4th line you need a space between my-self and this, but other then that its great I hope you really cant taste the sand with your feet though
I love the feeling of walking on the beach but the sand is usually way too hot! lol good poem!
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This is very weel thought out...
...your descriptives are all right on target and so much so, it blows my mind!!!! I loved the feel good nature of this entire process, even though with a couple of accidents. Nice Going!!!
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