oh why oh why,
do the children cry?
there used to to be scilents,
till the tail of the thriest
oh why oh why
do the children cry
please tell
no, not the therist
the tail of the chell
but still oh why oh why
do the children cry
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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sad poem, very well done, except for what others have mentioned already on the spelling and I don't know what "thriest" or "chell" are supposed to be? I think you should fix this up, because it could be great.
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This was intriguing. I found a few spelling errors.."scilents" should be "silence" and then I did not understand the word "thriest". "Tail"... if you are meaning as in a cats tail.. then you have the correct spelling. If you are talking of a tall tale or a fairy tale...then it is spelled "tale". What is a chell?? Anyhow... this has some potential. Fix up those things I was talking about and you have something very unusual and well done
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you have spelling errors, but it is a very good poem! thank you for sharing!
~.~Yvonne~.~
Baahltres -
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like wat
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well done that was a good poem
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THANK YOU WHITE
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