In this crazy state of mind
I allow myself to dream
of the willows in the wind
by a gently flowing stream
and I listen as they whisper
You are home, at home at last
lie in peace beside the water
let your tears be in the past
I see lilies in the field
just across the river there
and the fragrance of late spring
tells a tale upon the air
and I listen as it whispers
You are home, at home at last
lie in peace beside the water
let your tears be in the past
What is life but constant struggle with each single gasping breath
Just a comedy of errors and the final joke is death
From the depths of desperation fate has shown its ugly face
and each fleeting hope for happiness is gone without a trace...
In this crazy state of mind
when my back is to the wall
I allow myself to dream...
but the dreamers always fall
and the willows and the waters
and the lilies take a bow
home and peace are dim and distant
and my tears are here and now
A contest entry
- Rhyme And Flow by CherryOnTop.
450 points, ended November 3, 2007, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - One Whole Year: Collection Point B by Death of the Author.
600 points, ended November 19, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire me; Anything Goes by wolfcub.
450 points, ended April 16, 2008, 54 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme. Bring in your masterpieces! by Never Fall in Love.
1300 points, ended July 27, 2008, 20 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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What is life but constant struggle with each single gasping breath
Just a comedy of errors and the final joke is death
From the depths of desperation fate has shown its ugly face
and each fleeting hope for happiness is gone without a trace...
( The best stanza I have read in a very long time).
This is so true... dreams of peace yet living in hell, I've drempt of a peaceful place where happiness is everywhere while the tears still dried on my face... Thank you for entering my contest. -
truly wonderful. thank you for entering
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Beautiful. I really loved the "Just a comedy of errors and the final joke is death" part. Thanks for entering.
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really loved this.so many great lines love the verse;what is life......great writing keep it going
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Wow. This is really powerful! I love the way it keeps moving forward. There's not a boring line.
Thankyou for entering and good luck
Katie -
i agree what is life but a struggle you deserve a stand up for this beauty
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Before I even read this poem, from the way it was set out, I knew it was YOU! Hehehe. And the fact it has your name at the bottom
As always your poem flows and rhymes beautifully. Your words create a magical though wretched story that just has to be told.
Just a comedy of errors and the final joke is death - blimey heck that is awesome. In fact, screw that.
What is life but constant struggle with each single gasping breath
Just a comedy of errors and the final joke is death
From the depths of desperation fate has shown its ugly face
and each fleeting hope for happiness is gone without a trace...
That is even better. It is so good. Damn you for being this good! You have such a command over language. I envy your talent.
Congratulations on the silver already and thanks for entering! Good luck and take care x
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I can't believe "Questions" lost to this lmao ... just kidding. Congratulations.
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This is outstanding. I love it.good luck in my contest.
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Wow this is Excellent Good luck in Girlish's contest
In this crazy state of mind
I allow myself to dream
of the willows in the wind
by a gently flowing stream
and I listen as they whisper
You are home, at home at last
lie in peace beside the water
let your tears be in the past
I see lilies in the field
just across the river there
and the fragrance of late spring
tells a tale upon the air
and I listen as it whispers
You are home, at home at last
lie in peace beside the water
let your tears be in the past
Great imagery I hope I can write like this soon i just started in september
P.s. I would like to know the style of this rhyme could you tell me please. I'm stupid just kidding Got a lot to learn
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Wow that was amzing so full of vvid iamges, very nicely written. Your words are very exquiste, nice job
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So Sad
Amazing and pure genius! Indeed, I love ur expression here. Has much in sadness and still it leads readers 2 wanna experience such afterlife. I look forward 2 reading more from u. -theQueen" -
i had to read this simply because i got one by the same title. its completely different from yours.
this fits in my seasons poems though. very good write.
a good use of words.
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tis beautiful ^_^ very well done and everything. And it makes you think a little too about life... Just a little.
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home and peace are dim and distant
and my tears are here and now
Truely a heartfelt write is here...
This is the love and the life of love..It is a blessing truly but if there is a kind confusion or dilemma then it is a painful journey as well..And this has been shown in this write..Every word stated in this work is relating to the, every story of love in this whole world...The sentiments are innocently stated here one by one and this is the honesty of the write here..A VERY TOUCHY WORK....
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wow that was hard
damn that shit was amazing...im ina hella bad mood and that made me feel a lot better...good job
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Amazing.
I love nature... its the only thing that truly relaxes me, because it doesn't have to make sence. Life is an interchangably horrifying joke. Sometimes when I look at people I imagine them jumping up and down doing a musical in the theme of the day, "I'm fucking you over, I can't believe I'm fucking you over... and there's nothing you can do about it". I don't know maybe I'm crazy but thats just what I think.
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Wow
I'm Impressed. I Haven't Been Able To Find Anything I Really Liked Lately On Here. Your Poem Is An Exception. I Love It. =]
You are home, at home at last
lie in peace beside the water
let your tears be in the past
The Repeatition Of These Lines Made The Poem More Bold And Got The Feeling Better Across To Me.
What is life but constant struggle with each single gasping breath
Beautiful! I Love The Choice Of Words In That Line. It Stood Out To Me. All In All, Beautiful Write. I Enjoyed It =] -xxo
greysen.
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prettiful
amazing poem you have here. my favorite verse is the very first one. it paints a picture of peace in my mind. i love this very much. great job!
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I love how it starts out beautiful and peaceful and then changes to dark sadness. Your rhyming is fabulous and effortless. Excellent work!
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This is beautiful! The rhyming is effective and the rhyme is stunning. It's very sad; you bring this poem to life with your words. Keep writing! Meggh xxxxxxxxxxxx
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loved all but the third verse.sounds like my wildflower poem
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fragrance of late spring telling tales upon the air ....and some beautiful expressions with the smooth flow of words and ideas ... really beautiful...
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a
i love this poem.. i saw the hope of it at first and i realised we all go through this type of emotion.. i applaud you on this great peice
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good
Good use of imagery, and great rhythm.
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This is sooooooooooooo wonderful. The flow, the words, the imagery, the the rhythm, everything about this poem.
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LOVERLY
This was wonderful as always. I can see you put a lot of work into it and I will ramble on to see if I can get 6 points out of this comment. 
Really, this is beautiful.
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your poetry is always wonderful...amazing!
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